The party led by Vorin marched along the mountain path towards their destination. Shell was watching their flank on the side going further up the mountain towards the peak. Prith watched their flank on the side of the path against the fall down the mountain. Kumo watched the rear while keeping Synexus in front of her moving. Yu walked to the immediate right of him helping Kumo keep him from falling off the mountain. Gene rode on Yu’s back trying to help him. Shell and Zuls stayed in the middle ready to provide support at a moment’s notice. Gliya and Sovereign soared above them providing a bird’s eye view.

  Synexus shuffled along slowly. He hadn’t said a word since the early morning when he kneeled between the corpses. They all attempted to quell his moral dilemma with no success. He needed time and nothing more.

  None of them would look at him differently. They all heard what the man had said and if Synexus wouldn’t have put them down then each of them would have. It was an insult to class chosen everywhere to use their gifts like those two did.

  Still, he was fighting a war against himself. One not easily won.

  All they could do was keep him moving and keep him safe.

  After the battle, Vorin looted the two and Zuls had Element move the dirt underneath them, so they would fall into somewhat proper graves. Amongst their items were strange devices that Kumo figured were tracking devices of some kind. Vorin quickly threw them off the mountain.

  Along with the tracking devices, they both had dimensional bags full of various equipment, money, and identification badges. Zuls wanted to immediately take the guins out, but Vorin stopped her and said they would wait for Synexus to make that decision.

  Not long after their quick burial, the party departed their makeshift camp to start their long march across the mountain range. It would still take approximately eight months or so to reach their destination, barring any significant obstacles or detours of course.

  In the few hours that they had walked, they had yet to see any monsters. However, they did pass a travelling merchant that was heading to Goldhill. He told them to watch out for the consequences of a battle between two villages about a month’s walk ahead of them. It was likely to be over already though.

  The only reason they were taking precautions and were in a defensive formation was to make sure Synexus would have his time to recover. Shell had healed him before they started moving with her song. His clothes were still stained silver, however. Prith took the time to clean Progress for him, so he wouldn’t have to look at the blood when he came too. It was overall a pleasant stroll through the mountains, worry for their friend just cast too big of a shadow.

  ***

  Synexus could tell he was moving along. He could tell that his friends were with him. He could even tell that Gene was speaking to him. A devouring numbness to everything kept him locked away.

  He was alive but didn’t seem to exist.

  His feet shuffled forward by themselves with the occasional breeze to guide him along the path.

  The sun was out, but to him the world looked ash grey. It felt wrong.

  While trapped in his mind, the memory of the night before kept playing on repeat and thanks to his perfect memory everything was clear. He felt the force it took to pierce their skulls over and over again. The sound of Plessa’s crying haunted him with every playback. Even the smell of the blood mixing with the soil lingered in his nose.

  The worst part was that the numbness made him unable to feel anything. Anger, shock, and grief had left him an empty shell. A ghost in the mountains.

  Still, he knew it wouldn’t last forever. Some color would pop back in every now and then. Gene’s voice would become clear for a few seconds before fading away and being lost in the grey again. Once the numbness fell away, he knew all those emotions would come raging back ending in an overwhelming disgust.

  That would be the part that would take longer to resolve. If he ever truly could.

  After what had to be an eternity, the memories even became background noise. Grey like everything else. He closed his eyes tightly trying to grasp hold of anything that he could and when he opened them, he was in his Progress Garden except it was pouring rain. That’s when he remembered getting a notification during the fight.

  Progress Garden has levelled up!

  Progress Garden has upgraded!

  Progress Garden: You’ve utilized this space and melded it with your class. Through your will and the experience of utilizing your skill, you have gained more control over the space. In addition, the range of influence on the skill has greatly increased both in and out of the garden.

  With a thought, the rain stopped and night came for the first time. Brilliant stars started to speckle the artificial sky. His attention turned towards the pond and immediately the ground ruptured, creating a river to replace it. That’s when it hit him that something was wrong.

  Instead of the vibrant colors of his wide variety of plants, it was all grey. The muted color had followed him even into his soul. Or perhaps he had unintentionally done it with his new increased control.

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  He attempted to picture the colors. A splash of them filled his view before they faded once more. He tried again. Same conclusion. Panic started to fill him that he had truly lost himself. That he would never see the beauty of nature again.

  Many attempts later and his panic grew to dangerous levels. He was raging against the flood gate holding back the atrocity of his actions. The memories came back this time replacing the night sky in his Progress Garden. They kept playing on repeat and he fell to the floor covering his eyes. It didn’t help. He could see them clear as day on the inside of his eyelids. His panic reached critical and he screamed.

  When he had to stop to breathe, he realized that his panic proved he was feeling things again. That meant the other emotions weren’t far behind and he was right.

  Moments later and a wave of guilt, and anger washed him away. Deep, hot reds filled his once beautiful garden before the ground opened up into a deep abyss and he was pulled down.

  Plant roots and vines were wrapped around his legs dragging him into the depths while his fingernails started to bleed from the frantic scratching on the walls trying to prevent his descent.

  His body hit the bottom of the abyss hard. The memories continued to bombard his vision by appearing along the well’s wall. Red faded and a tsunami of deep, dark blues assaulted him as the sadness collided against the walls of his mind. He couldn’t breathe and he started gasping for breath to realize the deep blues turned into deep water filling the hole. The roots still had him chained to the bottom.

  Bubbles shot from mouth as his lungs continued to fill with water.

  The water seemed to condense around him like the pressure was getting unbearable. He was in a grasp that wasn’t his own and it was squeezing him into nothing.

  “But I didn’t have a choice!” He yelled in his head.

  One of the roots released itself.

  “I tried to reason with them. I tried to end it peacefully!” More of the guilt roots released themselves.

  “It was them or Motholo! I couldn’t let my party take on my burden!”

  His feet were free and he fought against the pressure desperately swimming back up the well to the surface where he fell. Just before he breached the surface, an unending darkness swallowed him. The ground closed above his head and direction lost all meaning.

  Disgust had arrived and it was overwhelming.

  He retched in the darkness trying to empty himself of the violent act. Even the memories stopped as he purged everything.

  Between heavy breaths, he attempted to speak.

  “It’s true that the Branch taught me to respect all life, but the Elder Branch even warned me that there were class chosen out there that abused their gifts. These people condemned someone simply due to their existence. They should be the ones disgusted with themselves!”

  “I protect who I can. I will always help who I can. Even if that means sacrificing a part of myself to do so. My innocence cannot take precedence over what must be done.”

  The world lightened ever so slightly. The pressure started to dissipate.

  “It is never easy to take a life. I will mourn them. I will never take my enemies’ lives lightly. I’ll live with my actions and face up to the consequences. My actions shouldn’t be overlooked just because they were justified. In my memory, they will live on.”

  With that last exclamation, the darkness disappeared, and he found himself lying under the starlit sky amongst deep green bamboo. Nearby, his new river made a gentle babbling sound. His world was no longer grey.

  ***

  A week had passed with Synexus barely being present. Kumo had been becoming increasingly more worried even though Gene told her not too.

  According to the owl, Synexus was using his Progress Garden skill meaning he was working things out even if they couldn’t outwardly notice any changes except for the few times that he let out a piercing scream or mumbled something about disgust.

  Finally, his eyes became clear of the glossy look while they were walking along the mountain path around midday on the 8th day of their journey.

  His head swiveled around and looked in confusion for a moment before saying his first words in nearly a week.

  “Where are we?”

  “You’ve been out for seven days. Are you okay?” Kumo ran up behind him and put her arm around his shoulders.

  “Yes. I’m fine, thank you. I didn’t realize it had been that long. In my head it felt like only a few hours. I’m sorry.”

  “Synexus, don’t apologize. We understand that it took a toll on you. That’s what we are here for. Friends are there to keep you going even when you can’t.”

  “She’s right! We are just glad you’re okay and we are all here if you need to talk. You know we have all dealt with something similar.” Zuls chimed in, throwing him a smile.

  “You gave us quite the scare. I knew you’d work through it, however.” Gene ended their comment with a hoot of joy.

  “I’ll have to take some meditation tips from you next time we stop. You were in deep.” Prith joked.

  “Violence doesn’t come easy to good people. The fact that you took this so hard is only proof of how incredible a class chosen you are, Synexus.” Yu added while performing one of her little hops.

  “Emotions are complicated. Just know you don’t have to face them alone.” Shell said before taking out her ocarina to play a soothing ballad.

  “We realize this will take more time to fully come to terms with. You’ve seen me at my lowest and you were there for me. When you’re ready to talk, there are a few things we need to discuss. Even if that isn’t until a year from now.” Vorin turned his head around and gave Synexus a thumbs up.

  “Thank you everyone. I didn’t want to make this your burden. I do think this will haunt me forever if I’m being honest, but I’ve come to an understanding with myself.”

  A round of reassuring nods followed before silence fell upon the group once more.

  Synexus took the moment to take a deep breath. Feeling his lungs fill with the fresh mountain air was proof that he was still alive. The cold breeze hitting his face was one of the best feelings he had ever felt. Even the light sounds of their footsteps crunching on the gravel and the sight of the blue sky made him smile. Simply being able to sense the world once more made him glad he didn’t give into his darkest emotions.

  Thinking about losing his senses like he had and being nothing but numb made him shudder. Then he looked to his right and focused his eyes on Yu. She still had a locked skill. That had to be a feeling similar to what he felt.

  She was a sphinx who was proud of her wings. She was a master of wind magic. He was sure the blue sky was constantly taunting her. Even if it wasn’t exactly akin to what he felt, a part of her was still missing.

  “Hey, Yu.”

  “Yes, Synexus.”

  “Tomorrow we are going to get back to fixing your locked skill. I can’t believe it took me this long too long to see. They took a piece of yourself from you, and I will stop at nothing to give it back to you.”

  She smiled and hopped a little more while Gene complained and tried to stay on her back.

  “If anyone is capable of it, I know it’s you. I trust you, Synexus.”