Time. Time is an odd thing in a dungeon. With no clocks and no sunlight, it's hard to tell how much time has passed. Sure, I could count, but come on. Would you? Of course not. That being said, I worked out a couple of reliable methods. The first is Lady Fluffy Butt. She's alive and needs to sleep. I've noticed her nightly snoozing lines up with my second method of telling the time; my mana ticking up. My current theory is she's the same as bats from Earth, and my mana ticks up at around midday.

  I float up next to my sleeping little princess; her sleep squeaking pulling me out of my head. "You are just the cutest little muffin. Yes, you are. Yes, you are." I say, my heart melting as she rubs her face with her tiny hands. "Naw, that's so cute. I don't know what I'd do if I." I freeze as a chill runs down my spine. "Shit. She doesn't have a spawner yet."

  “Mr. Blue, I need a spawner for the bat now.” I say, grumbling at that name. “And before you ask, put the spawner on the roof in the center of the second room.”

  The familiar blue screen pops to life in front of me.

  WEEB system upgrade complete.

  Launching system 1.1.0

  Reestablishing link.......

  Link confirmed.

  Extrapolating meaning from chat logs......

  Complete.

  Would you like to spend all available mana on a bat spawner?

  Score, an update for my little blue helper. "Yes, thank you. Um. Pop? Ooh, that's good. I like that. I like that a lot! Thank you, Pop, that will be all."

  The blue screen flickers with static for a moment before the text clears.

  Unknown command.

  Please clarify the meaning of the prompt pop.

  I chuckle to myself before answering. “I’m calling you, Pop. You know. Because your screens just pop up.”

  The screen flickers and then clears.

  Do you wish to set this system's nickname to pop? Note, the system will only respond to this name or WEEB from now on.

  “Wait, I can do that? I can change your name? Hell yes! Set the system's nickname as Pop!”

  Pop’s screen clears again.

  Command recognized.

  System's nickname set.

  This system will now respond to Pop as its name.

  Pop will now begin construction of a bat spawner.

  Dirt falls from the ceiling as a small mound with a bat-shaped symbol forces its way out. The mound splits, creating a small hole facing the direction of my entrance. The commotion wakes Lady Fluffy Butt, and she flutters over to the new spawner. "Sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to wake you." Lady Fluffy Butt squeaks and pops at me as she scurries around her new spawner. "Do you like it? I made it so you'd be safe." Lady Fluffy Butt gives me a nod before climbing into her spawner. "I'll take that as a yes. Huh. I wonder if I can get some upgrades for her." I pull myself closer to the spawner, and Pop’s blue screen appears to greet me.

  Bat spawner upgrades.

  Upgrade common bat to collector bat: 20 dungeon points.

  Upgrade common bat to bat golem: 40 dungeon points.

  Upgrade common bat to bat spirit: 200 dungeon points.

  Upgrade common bat to big bad bat: 40 dungeon points. Note: This upgrade may cause unintended consequences due to increased intelligence.

  “Those are some good choices right there.” I say, staring at the big black bat option. “Hey Pop. What does the note under the big bad bat upgrade mean?”

  A small blue screen pops up to the right of my vision.

  To facilitate better resource collection, the Big Bad Bat's intelligence may be greatly expanded. Each Big Black Bat's intelligence modifier is chosen at random. Bat intelligence is scored between 1 and 20.

  Intelligence score scale.

  1 = No change in intelligence.

  5 = Increased memory and ability to plan.

  10 = Human-equivalent level intelligence, allowing for complex thought.

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  15 = Genius-level intelligence, allowing for advanced problem solving, creativity and the processing of complex information.

  20 = Superintelligence, extraordinary innate capacity to learn and understand abstract problems and find unique solutions.

  “Don't threaten me with a good time. Pop, one of your finest big bad bat upgrades, please.” Pop's screen disappears, and I giggle like a schoolgirl as I back away from the spawner. The mound crackles as long cracks appear along its surface. A few at first, then more and more until the fractures line it completely. "This is going to be so cool! I wonder how smart Lady Fluffy Butt is going to be." A loud snap fills my dungeon as the spawner falls from the roof and smashes against the floor. "Um, was that supposed to happen? I'm not sure that was supposed to happen." The debris trembles as two giant wings emerge from the rubble and with a single beat of them, my new minion reveals itself. "She's beautiful!"

  Lady Fluffy Butt lets out a deafening screech as she shakes what's left of her spawner off her massive new body. "Look at you! You're at least 10 times bigger than you were before." Her black fur shines even in the dungeon's low lighting; her eyes now a deep red color with no pupils. With a deep grumble, she turns to meet my focus with such speed it forms a dust cloud. “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” I say, as she stretches her wings to show their full size. “You are the coolest looking thing I’ve ever seen!”

  “Master, I am here to serve you.” A deep growling voice says.

  “Holy shit, you can talk? I didn't know you'd be able to talk! Why didn't you tell me she'd be able to talk?”

  Lady Fluffy Butt looks around the chamber, then bows her head. “Forgive me, Master. I will go about my work now.”

  “No need to rush. You can spend some time getting used to your new body.”

  Lady Fluffy Butt stomps towards the entrance, but pauses before disappearing through the mist. “Worry not, Master. I will find you the rarest treasures this world has to offer.” She says with another bow. Before I can reply, she flaps her wings and flies out of the cave so fast the whole place shakes. "That's weird. I wonder why she didn't." A shiver runs down my spine as a horrible thought hits me. "Wait, can people not hear me?"

  “Well now, you’ve made some upgrades, haven’t you, little dungeon?” A voice from outside the dungeon says. “That big blighter almost took my damn head off. Glad to see you made use of that cloth I left ya.”

  I can feel someone entering my dungeon. No wait. It’s two people. The first guy is that short man from before, but the other one is new. He's taller, wearing tattered black armour with some kind of worn symbol on the shoulder. His outfit covers his whole body, complete with a hood and a black face mask. "I have a bad feeling about this."

  “I told you I'd be back!” The short man says with a wicked smile painted across his dirty face. “I’ve brought a friend who can’t wait to meet you!”

  The hooded man steps into the dungeon like he owns the place, his head flicking from side to side. “Two spawners, one bat, one golem.” He says, his eyes locking onto my digging golem. “A unique monster this early? That's odd.”

  “Will it survive?” Asks the shorter man as he rubs his hands together.

  “Yes, I'll extract it now." The man in black's eyes narrow as he turns to the short man. "Leave the dungeon."

  "Yeah, yeah. I know." The shorter man says with a dismissive wave. "You know you're not part of the guild anymore, right? You don't need to keep their secrets."

  The man in black rests his hand on the short sword at his waist. "I won't ask again."

  The short man raises his hands as he backs towards my entrance. "Alright, alright, I'm going. Not like learning the spell would do me any good anyways."

  The hooded figure lets out a sigh after a few moments. "I can't believe I'm doing this." He mutters under his breath, his piercing green eyes meeting mine. "I'm sorry little dungeon. I need to get home, and this is the only thing I know how to do." An odd red light forms in the palm of his hand. "May the gods forgive me for what I must do."

  I grunt as my mana is pulled out of me, the sensation similar to when I create something. "What the hell is going on here? What are you doing to me?" I ask, the feeling of breathlessness growing with each passing moment.

  The figure in black lowers his head. “Oh gods, grant me your power. This core has failed in its task; let not its power go to waste. Oh gods who gift us your fragments, grant this humble subject dominion over this small piece of heaven.”

  "What are you doing to me? Stop it!" My vision blurs as the darkness closes in around me. "I. I can’t breathe, I can't breathe." My movements become sluggish as I struggle against the sensation, my powers unable or unwilling to respond. "Oh god, he’s trying to trap me."

  The man in black raises his second hand and continues the spell. “Oh core that has forgotten its purpose, I command you! Give unto me the power that you hold. Your failure will serve the children of the gods. Be at peace and accept this mercy.”

  My vision fades to black, leaving behind nothing but a small red screen.

  Error: System Pop no longer has admin permissions.

  Error: Unnamed dungeon's domain has been claimed.

  Error: Unnamed dungeon no longer has user permissions.

  Unnamed dungeon will now be judged.

  Error: Judgement deemed incorrect, appealing.

  Attempt failed, attempting again.

  Error: Judgement deemed incorrect, appealing.

  Attempt failed, attempting again.

  Attempt failed, no chances remain.

  The children of the gods have deemed the unnamed dungeon a failure.

  Unnamed dungeon sentenced to community service.

  "What the fuck is going on? Why would they be able to do this to me? The gods sent me here! Why can these people do this! How can these people do this!" Pop's screen buzzes as static races across it.“Pop! Pop, can you hear me? What’s going on?”

  Pop's red screen clears, and new letters slowly appear.

  Note: Unnamed dungeon is now operating in community service mode.

  All dungeon functions are now available to anything holding the Unnamed dungeon's core.

  "That can't be right. Are you saying anyone can use my powers? Does that mean they can use me to build a dungeon?" Pop's red screen flickers, a single word flashing across it before it disappears.

  Yes.

  “Pop, Pop, can you hear me? Pop, answer me.” A loud buzz fills my head. "Damn it!"

  I hear a voice, the same one that cast the spell on me. "I'm sorry, little dungeon. This was my only way to get home before my daughter was born."

  “Up yours! Put me back or I'll.” A burst of searing pain interrupts me, the pain like being frozen and burnt alive at the same time.

  “Here's the core dwarf. Now you keep up your end of the bargain.”

  "It's all been organised. You'll be back where you belong in no time."

  "What are you going to do with it? The seal won't last long outside of this dungeon."

  "No need to worry about that. We dwarfs have our own methods of sealing dungeon cores."

  "I won’t be helping you bind it again if you fail. You're on your own now."

  "I won't fail. Now get a move on. Your ride is waiting for you at the main gate. Ask for Alkcan, he'll take you home." I hear a loud grunt followed by the sound of footsteps getting softer and softer. 'Well now, let's get a better look at you." I flinch as a loud whistle assaults me. "A fire core, as I live and breathe." A loud chuckle hits me like a runaway train. "You and I are going to be partners for a long, long time."