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1.34 The Worst Feeling in the World

  


  Hey adventureman, how goes the adventuring?

  Oh, it’s going swell, just swell! We discovered an old hiding place, filled with ancient secrets. The people who used to live here had kind of a sad story, but now we’re like the only ones who know about it. That’s kinda cool, right? We’re just a teeny tiny bit stuck and I might be losing my mind and we might well get murdered, but it wouldn’t be an adventure without a bit of danger, right?

  That sounds… cool, I guess? Fingers crossed that you don’t get murdered! I’d really miss our little chats.

  I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s only an ancient parasitical demon that seems immune to all attacks. Oh by the way, I found this scroll about splicing, you know anything about it?

  That’s the right attitude, at least! Splicing sounds familiar… I think it was some old art for combining plants? I vaguely recall the old man saying something like the knowledge and tools were lost over time. If you found instructions, that could be amazing!

  Great! I’ll keep working on it, then. How are things on your end? For someone who takes payment in the form of background stories, you’ve been awfully quiet about yours.

  Doesn’t that make sense? If I value stories like pearls, why would I be freely tossing them around?

  Alright, so let’s flip the deal around. I’ll tell you about my splicing experiments if you tell me about your life.

  Fine. But I’ll warn you that it’s not very interesting. I’ve been in the same place all of my life and it’s isolated enough that it feels like nothing ever changes. I never really knew my parents. I was taught by a few elders, including the super old man that likes to speak in riddles. It’s mostly elders around here, barely anyone like me. I am surrounded by nature, which is great. I love anything to do with plants and beasts. Though if I’m being honest, in a place where nothing ever seems to change, pretty much anything is interesting, as long as it’s new. The only exciting times around here are when a cultivator passes through, but those are rare events. The last time was a few years ago. It was then that a red-haired woman left this tablet behind, thinking it was useless. So yeah, that’s me!

  Yep that sounds pretty boring. Why don’t you just leave?

  I can’t. I’m stuck here, in a way. It’s hard to explain, but believe me, I would if I could. I’d love nothing more than to see more of Tenjou!

  Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great adventurer. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll even explore the mysteries of Tenjou together.

  Even as he wrote that, he knew it was a lie; he’d never leave the Basement, after all. But still, it was a large floor and there was plenty he hadn’t seen of it yet. At least he could find Hana and take her on a tour of it. It was a pleasant fantasy to escape in for a little while.

  


  Now there’s a nice thought! What do you think it would be like? Would there be wild beasts and giant, man-eating plants? Hidden labyrinths with deadly traps but the promise of awesome treasure?

  All of that, plus lots of explosions. And food, don’t forget the food! Heaping banquets of rich meats and rare fish. Mead and wine to fuel parties that never end, with foreign music and exotic dancers!

  That would be the dream. Well then, you better start by getting out of there! Don’t forget to unveil the secrets of splicing!

  Dario shook his head as he put the tablet away, smile fading. He couldn’t even remember when he’d written those messages. Even reading them now felt like an effort that squeezed some of the last fuel out of his beaten brain.

  Tired, red-rimmed eyes paused on a broken training dummy, a discarded staff lying just out of arm’s reach. He’d given that one a good old beating, though exhausted as he was, he couldn’t quite remember what he’d been so angry about… Oh, right, the damn test calling him a liar.

  Well, it wasn’t just the test, actually, but even the Ki itself, turning brown when it was obviously supposed to be green. Just the suggestion that he might not want his mother to be happy was enough for the rage to start bubbling up again, but his exhaustion was stronger, so he settled for just glaring at the dummy.

  Each time he slept, the nightmares came back. They were vivid and powerful dreams, always involving his mother and him moving away from her. He would wake up drenched in sweat, feeling emotionally and physically drained. It was bad enough by now that it felt like things were all blurring together. He’d spent time growing some food, looking at memory crystals, but mostly reading about splicing and constantly failing to extract even a single aspect from a seed.

  He bent back over the seed to give it yet another attempt, but he ended up just blinking down at the little brown-white speck in his hand. Wasn’t it time for a change in tactics here? How many times had he tried this already?

  He blinked again, his eyelids remaining closed for longer each time they winked shut. After a few minutes, they opened again as he sat up with a start. Had he dozed off again? That seemed to be happening more often. He didn’t feel hungry at all, so not that much time could have passed. But he had no idea how long…

  Wait. How long had it been?

  Dario sat up straight, heart beginning to beat faster. Was he already too late? There had been only a day and a half or so left when he got here. He’d slept… Four times, maybe? No, it had to be more than six. But always too short because of those nasty dreams. He blinked, frowning as he looked around the room, realizing that he had no way to know how much time had passed. But it felt like…

  It felt like he was late. He needed to get out of here. He needed… What did he need… A weapon. Right. Hadn’t he seen something?

  It took him a while to push himself up on weak, shaking arms and he moved to the workshop, bumping his shoulder against the doorway and nearly falling over as he stumbled into the room. After steadying himself again, he was blinking at the room, wondering why he’d come here. Looking for something…?

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  He pushed Ki into his eyes as he scanned the room, gaze landing on a bright smudge of red, blue and white. The explosive trap! Right. As he walked up to the thing, he remembered faintly that he’d been messing with it, tying two of them together. Looking the work over, it seemed stable enough, he just had to make sure the connection there was a bit tighter…

  He lost himself in the work until he was holding what he hoped was a finished product, two explosive traps combined to make one with a lot more punch. Now, what was he going to use this bad boy for…

  Oh. Right. His mother was waiting. He needed to get out of here. Again his heart rate increased and he held on to that strong need, that sense of urgency, using it to push through the mud that covered his thoughts as he went for the entrance, feeling like he was waking up a bit more with each step. She was waiting and he was going to be late. That was bad. Very very bad. He needed to move. He needed to go.

  He strode past a sleeping Nika, barely paying attention to the fact that she was tossing and turning. Something called to him - a thin line of brown smoke rising to the ceiling - but he pushed it away. There was no more time. He had a goal. He had to get out.

  Before he knew it, he was blinking down at his hand as it closed over the crystal, the explosive trap held in the other. Empathy. Right.

  His thoughts were already with his mother and how he didn’t want her to cry, how she should never feel sad again, so the golden Ki came easily. Pushing it into the crystal took a moment and gave him a sharp headache, but he managed.

  Nothing happened. He frowned at the crystal and the thick, black slab of stone above, then pushed more golden Ki into it. The crystal didn’t light up and the door didn’t move.

  “It’s dead? Are you kidding me?” he said with a hoarse voice.

  He put the explosive down and kicked at the crystal before trying it again. When nothing happened, he began to pound at the slab above. After a few blows, he fell back, exhausted, leaning against the wall and nearly slumping down until he pushed himself off again.

  “Fucking open already! I need to get the fuck out of here!” he shouted, his rough, cracked voice echoing through the hallway. “My mother…”

  He began to pace, hands pulling at his hair as panic rose, hot and tight in his chest. He embraced it, letting it rise further. He couldn’t forget, couldn’t fall back asleep.

  He was already late. She would be waiting, sitting at the kitchen table with a patient smile on her face as she always did. Peeling some tubers, maybe. Because he’d promised to be there and she believed him. She knew he wouldn’t break a promise, not one as big and important as that. Not one as big as…

  ‘I’ll never make you cry!’ the old promise rang through his head in the voice of his younger self.

  But he was here. He was already late. What would happen, when she kept waiting in that lonely kitchen and he never showed up? In fact, it might have already happened. It might be happening right now, for all he knew.

  “Nonono-”

  His voice was thick with despair as he whined, then wailed, until his despair and panic turned back into hot anger.

  “No!” he roared, kicking at the crystal. “I can’t be stuck here! This can’t be fucking happening! Fuck this place!”

  Ki began to boil from his chest, bright red like a young cherry, and he embraced it, fed more fuel to that raging fire.

  “Fuck those damn parasites!”

  The red Ki swirled around his fist as he punched at the slab above him.

  “Fuck this basement!”

  Another blow, the explosion of Ki powerful enough to send him stumbling back. But more Ki swirled out from his chest, covering his hand as he ran up the stairs again.

  “Let. Me. Out!”

  Each roar was punctuated by a thundering strike, tiny chips of stone raining around him.

  Still he kept at it, raging and striking at the thick slab of stone until his fuel finally ran out. He stumbled and half-fell down the stairs, laying panting at the bottom with his legs still on the stairway, staring up at the still closed exit. He’d taken a few shallow pieces out, but it was nowhere near enough. He was stuck.

  “Dario?”

  He shifted his head back to see an upside-down image of a pale and sweaty Nika leaning against the doorway, then let out a bit of light Ki so that she wouldn’t be looking at a dark hallway.

  She blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the light, then pausing on his prone form, the cracked crystal which he’d managed to kick out of its alcove, then the marks on the sliding door above.

  “Are you…” she began, but then it seemed like she wasn’t sure how to continue, until she finally closed her mouth again.

  “The door doesn’t work anymore. Crystal’s dead.”

  “Were you… attempting to open it?”

  “I’m late. But it won’t budge and the damn stone is too hard-”

  Dario’s eyes widened and he kicked off the stairs to turn around and got to his feet, walking up to Nika. His hand was bleeding and his cheeks were still wet with tears.

  “You can open it!” he said feverishly, eyes full of fresh hope. “You can just make a hole and then-”

  “Dario,” Nika said gently, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Why? Because of the parasites? Don’t worry about them, I’ll just blow ‘em all up and then-”

  “And then what? You’ll sprout wings and fly out of here?” Nika was frowning now, voice growing firmer.

  “No, I’ll… I’ll just…” Dario frowned, eyes flicking around the room as if looking for the answer. “I don’t know. I’ll rebuild the tower, or find another way out. As long as I can get out of here, there might still be a chance that I can make it on time.”

  “Make it on time for what?”

  “Dinner with my mother,” he said absently as he looked anxiously back at the slab of stone that was keeping him locked in here. Nika’s frown deepened as she gaped at him. “Look, I made a promise that I really can’t break, alright?”

  “Have you considered where this would leave me? Wounded and alone, with a large hole in the stone that’s keeping all the beasts out?” Nika asked

  “I… No, I… Look, I didn’t mean…You’re strong, right? And I’ll blow them all up anyway, or I’ll make them follow me-”

  “Have you thought of what would happen if you somehow carried a parasite with you and spread it above? If you even manage to pass through the Mon. Which you can’t.”

  “I… I don’t know, alright?” Dario said, raising his voice as the anger came flowing back. “All I care about right now, is getting out of here so I can keep my promise-”

  “Dario! Listen to yourself. There is more at stake than a blasted dinner with your mother!” Nika snapped back.

  “Shut up!” Dario snarled. “You have no idea what it’s like. She’s alone. Waiting for me. It’ll fucking destroy her if I don’t show. Your parents haven’t the slightest clue where you are, and even if they did know, they probably wouldn’t even give a flying fuck!”

  Nika took a step back as if struck, eyes widening with surprise before they narrowed and her jaw set.

  “It is good to know where we stand,” she said coldly, before turning around and walking away.

  Her footsteps were loud in the silence she left behind. Dario still had the presence of mind to wince as he stared at her back.

  Then he looked back up at the stone slab keeping him out, trying to think through Nika’s objections, but once the rage left him it felt like all the mud returned, pulling his thoughts down. He slumped against the wall, letting himself slide down until he sat with his head between his knees.

  As he sat there, his tired mind was filled only with a single image: his mother, sitting at the kitchen table, crying over another lost son.

  Somewhere far above him, the nightmare he’d always feared, the one thing he should have avoided at all costs was now taking place.

  He had broken his promise.

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