Captain Craig had entered the room and started pushing gently on Jonathan's shoulder.

  Jonathan opened his eyes and looked up.

  Apparently one of his new friends provided a very useful augmented reality service. A dialog box appeared next to Craig, leaving Jonathan with a very perplexed look on his face.

  Name: Craig

  Species: Pirosi

  Profession: Captain, "Humble Beginnings"

  Age: 40 Cycles (Estimation) [EXACT: 1c]

  Threat Level: Weak*

  Description:

  Craig is Pirosi, a species whose homeworld was integrated into broker-controlled space [EXACT: 2c] cycles ago through standard incorporation protocols. Most Pirosi fulfill contracted labor obligations across multiple generations, with structured pathways for advancement.

  Physical characteristics include red leathery skin, larger build than baseline biped [AVERAGE SIZE: 2c], enhanced durability in harsh environments [SPECIFIC: 20c]. Vocal structure poorly suited for most standard language phonemes.

  Fun Fact: Craig won his current position through employment lottery under the standard broker workforce allocation system. Currently operates on minimal budget with outstanding debts to numerous broker subsidiaries.

  Performance Metrics: [CURRENT: 15c]

  *Warning: Threat level increases when armed with melee weapon type: Signage

  ... What does "1c" mean? Is that what I think it means...

  "You are 100% correct! Most information that is not immediately pertinent to your role is typically available for purchase for a nominal fee! The prices are in universe standard credits and dynamically change depending on numerous factors such as quality, rarity, and usefulness in current circumstances. Knowledge is money!"

  …Great. Microtransactions. Thanks, Pal.

  The box had multiple additional tabs of other information including vitals, lifetime statistics, preferences, and even ice breakers. Most of the info in these tabs required some form of payment to see, which seemed utterly ridiculous.

  There were a few tabs toward the back that weren't nearly as restricted — including known combat solutions, weaknesses, and resistances. He suspected those were a present from his Buddy. Even they had info that could be unlocked, though the price skyrocketed when it came to combat-oriented specifics.

  As Jonathan inspected Craig, those last tabs seemed to be filling with more and more information. He noticed a random field in weaknesses first listed his "Ocular Rupture Threshold" as [EXACT: 37c] — but after some time it actually gave a more specific value instead.

  Ocular Rupture Threshold: 3-3.5 pounds of force (lbf) [EXACT: 13c]

  Jonathan was at first equal parts appalled and amazed as to how the data got more specific and cheaper in real time.

  Buddy chimed in. "I'm still a little exhausted from all that stuff we had to do, but yeah — I'm working now. Give me a little more time and we should have a full combat solution… y'know… just in case."

  "That'd be very helpful for when I decide to murder the guy who saved me."

  "OH! SARCASM! My guy, you have no idea how relieved I am to know you do sarcasm. That last guy was just the worst to talk to, y'know? …It was sarcasm, right? If not, it might be useful to know the exact number you were looking at earlier is 3.27."

  "That's horrifying."

  "It's useful! What do you think I was there for, to do that asshole's taxes?"

  Jonathan shivered at the idea of having to do alien taxes. Whatever their system was, he decided to leave it for now. Couldn't be any more convoluted than what he was used to.

  This all happened, of course, in the matter of just a second or two. Craig knew to be patient here and just waited to answer when addressed. He knew first-hand just how much information was dumped on those with fresh Passengers.

  "Hello… uh, Craig, good to finally meet you. Excuse me for just a second, please."

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  Jonathan responded distractedly, while having a short conversation about translation in his head.

  "Look, I really don't know either, and I'm pretty sure it's restricted information so you can't just buy it. It could be that Craig is the closest thing in your language to his real name, or just a random name you've heard at some point, a name pulled from historical data, or just a joke. I don't know." said Buddy.

  "Fun fact! Did you know that for a nominal fee, you can pay to rename a given entity in your lexicon? Would you like me to walk you through it?" Pal added, ever the helper.

  Jonathan responded in the negative. Of course that was a thing.

  Jonathan couldn't help but wonder by now if Pal realized exactly what was going on here. Does he know about this arrangement?

  "You don't have to worry about being your own mind police if that's what you wanna know. What we've got going on is complicated. Pal doesn't exactly do complicated."

  "It is good to see that you did not die."

  Craig's voice was deep and had a soothing quality. He didn't seem to use contractions, which made him sound a little like a caveman. Jonathan chalked that up to some weird profiling in his translator. He couldn't help but stare at Craig's mouth as he talked — his words matched his mouth movements almost perfectly, which had an uncanny effect.

  "Perceptual augmentation is one of the many great features of our translational capabilities! This is especially useful in important areas such as ensuring smooth communication between species, and automatically redacting any pesky information deemed harmful or beyond your level of classification!" added Pal.

  That would require some unpacking later, for sure.

  After a few seconds, Jonathan finally responded to Craig.

  "Thanks, you too."

  This is where Jonathan learned the hard way that your own Passengers can laugh at you.

  "HAHAHAHAHA… Oh man. Were you a poet on your planet? Did you know we also greatly increase your memory? I'm saving that bad boy in long-term storage."

  Jonathan began weighing the pros and cons of extraction again.

  "It was a joke, man, calm down. Just so you know, extractions usually only happen on corpses — so, y'know, there's that."

  "We have managed to… mostly repair your clothes."

  Craig handed him a bunch of unfolded laundry. After a moment of panic, Jonathan looked down to discover he had been stripped to his boxers. It was interesting to him how much of a relief it was that he wasn't completely naked, given the absurdity of everything else going on.

  The white polo Jonathan had been wearing had many patches in it from where it — and by extension, he — was perforated. The patches were made of a slightly smoother, slightly whiter material. The pants that had been caked in blood, and also caked in cake due to smashing into a box or two, were clean.

  He thanked Craig and promptly got himself dressed.

  "I wanted to tell you that I am very happy you made it. I thought you were very brave. This is a hard job, and it is good to have another good person on board to help."

  It didn't take the ability to detect elevated heart rate, stress markers, or changes in micro-expressions to know that Craig was getting emotional.

  Whether it was because there just wasn't much to look at in the room, or because of heightened perception, Jonathan wasn't sure — but he caught a glimpse of something interesting at the top of the room. Each wall had small circular ports at the very top edges. Inside, a track similar to the automatic ball return in a pool table could be seen. A large ball just happened to catch his eye as it briefly flickered while locking into place in one of the ports.

  "Ah, there he is! Good to see you made it."

  Rex appeared in the opposite corner of the room from the ball in the ceiling, this time in an approximation of a Starfleet uniform — though made slightly more grand, or gaudy depending on sense of taste, with the addition of epaulets. When Jonathan turned to look, he winked.

  Name: Rex

  Species: Replicant Executive, Series 7

  Profession: Executive Officer, Humble Beginnings

  Threat Level: Negligible*

  Description: Replicant Executives are artificial constructs designed for mid-tier operational management. This unit handles operational, financial, and business functions for the raiding vessel designated "Humble Beginnings."

  Features: Physical form is solid-state projection technology. [FULL LIST OF FEATURES: 5c]

  Fun Fact: Replicant Executives Series 7 are a staple among successful low to mid-tier vessels of most types throughout the universe. Brought to you by [COMPANY NAME: 1c]

  Warning: This unit is the Executive Officer for the Humble Beginnings, and as such is afforded full legal guardianship over said vessel and her crew. You are a legal member of this crew.

  Jonathan had already deduced that Rex probably wasn't a real person given his ability to change his appearance. It was amazing to see that he could project himself without the use of that device they used on the planet.

  Jonathan wondered why you would have to pay to see a company name. Wouldn't they want to advertise?

  "Not a hologram. He's built with tech that allows those with Passengers under his command to interact directly with his avatar if they're in his presence. That ball up there is him." said Buddy.

  Ah, great. More direct-to-brain augmented reality. Not at all concerning.

  "You'd be surprised what they can do with a few upgrades. Lots of rumors about unsatisfactory employees walking through fake bridges and shit. Yet another reason you're gonna want to keep me around — since I'm not one of theirs."

  Jonathan wasn't exactly comforted by this, and started wondering if Buddy was intentionally making him a bit more paranoid. He also wondered if Buddy could do the same kind of thing if he wanted to.

  "Look, we're in this together now. Let's talk about it later — you need to pay attention to your new boss."

  Jonathan noticed just a hint of an eyebrow raise from Rex's avatar. Was he imagining it? Did Buddy make him see that, or do these things really have tells? How long had Jonathan been awkwardly staring?

  "2.4 seconds!" Helpful as ever, Pal.

  "Sorry, I'm just a little overwhelmed with all this stuff." Jonathan said, truthfully.

  "No problem at all — I'm sure you have many, many questions, which is why we're here. It's orientation time!"

  Jonathan immediately thought of the bad old days of his youth, where the manager of his first job at a fast food restaurant put him in the storage room and had him watch an old VHS tape.

  "There's going to be plenty of time for questions, but since you're still on the mend, we figured we'd follow Earth tradition and have you sit right here in the bunk and watch a pre-recorded introduction."

  God. Damn it.