[New blueprints unlocked: common bedroom furniture - nightstand, common bedroom accessory - headboard.]

  Both new options appeared in the list of buildables.

  “Headboard?” I asked, still unsure how the hell I was going to decorate anything with granite.

  I selected the new bedroom accessory. A ghost of it appeared, this time in red. It shifted to blue when I aimed close enough to the bed, where it snapped into place at the head end of the bed.

  Tapping again made it appear in real space.

  [Homesteading - Objective: Decorate your bedroom, complete.]

  [You’ve gained: 1 common chest.]

  [New objective: Build a new 4x4 tile room.]

  My bed now had an engraved, granite tombstone that said:

  “Here lies Frank.

  May he rest in peace.”

  “Son of a bitch,” I said. “That’s clever.” A half-smile slipped out as I crossed my arms. I hated how much I liked it. Gallows humor always was a nice touch, and sleeping under a tombstone with my name on it as a zombie was as hilarious as it was thematic.

  I stopped admiring my bed and went back over to the Lair terminal to complete my next quest.

  Build Mode booted up, and the first thing I did was turn my spawn point into a two-tile-wide hallway and run it perpendicular with my bedroom. This way, I’d have a long corridor to build off of.

  My Lair tile count increased to 29/50, but I had a ten-by-two hallway now. I was quickly running out of tiles.

  “Dick, what happens when I run out of tiles?”

  “You can either buy more at your Lair terminal under the Upgrade submenu, or you can reclaim tiles from existing rooms.”

  That was enough information to feel confident about using most of my remaining tiles. I created another room across the hall from my bedroom. It was the four-by-four room needed to complete my Homesteading quest. My Lair tile count increased to 45/50.

  [Homesteading - Objective: Build a new 4x4 tile room, complete.]

  [You’ve gained: 1 common chest.]

  [New objective: Build and place a storage chest.]

  “Storage chests? Hell yeah!” Storage was going to be an issue for me, and having a place to dump my limited loot every four hours would be crucial.

  I hoped it’d be digital, like my inventory. Hell, maybe it’d even expand my player inventory. I hopped out of Build Mode and kicked both common chests open.

  [You’ve gained: 100 gold and 1 common blueprint. Total gold: 390.]

  [You’ve gained: 100 gold, 6 wood planks, 1 iron ingot, and 1 cured resin. Total gold: 490.]

  I used the nearby terminal to get back into Build Mode and tap on the Chair icon.

  [New blueprint unlocked: Small Storage Chest.]

  “Figures,” I grumbled. They’d only given me enough materials to make one. I built the small storage chest and placed it into the new room.

  [Homesteading - Build and place a storage chest, complete.]

  [You’ve gained: 1 Common chest.]

  [Homesteading Questline complete.]

  [New questline started: Freelancing.]

  [Freelancing - New objective: Hire a Freelancer.]

  I collected my reward and opened my next Common chest. This time I got something new.

  [You’ve gained: 100 gold and 1 Instance location map. Total gold: 590.]

  I felt the ping as the System placed the marker in the Tutorial. The direction was a bit hazy, but that was probably because my Lair existed outside of the Overworld. Or that was my guess anyway.

  I accessed the menu on the Lair terminal.

  Build Mode | Daily Expenses | Freelancers | Overview | Rewards | Upgrades

  I’d gotten pretty good with Build Mode. The only thing on the Daily Expenses submenu was something called the Wage Hour. A zero sat beside it, but I expected that to change. It sounded like some sort of upkeep bullshit.

  Moving on, I checked out the Freelancer submenu.

  Freelancer Roster:

  Null

  Tips:

  Hire Freelancers to work for you. Complete Instance objectives to find Freelancers. Unhired Freelancers are sent to the general recruitment pool for all players. Freelancers require lodging, food, and a wage. Neglected Freelancers enter stasis until morale improves.

  Overview showed me all the materials available in my Lair. Right now, it only listed my total gold: 590. The Rewards screen was blank, but a whole-ass list started scrolling when I tapped on Upgrades.

  General

  Lair tile: 10 gold

  Additional purchasable Lair functions unlock as discovered.

  Refining Prefabs

  Null

  Additional purchasable refining rooms unlock as discovered.

  Crafting Prefabs

  Null

  Additional purchasable crafting rooms unlock as discovered.

  General Prefabs

  Null

  Additional purchasable rooms unlock as discovered.

  Defenses

  Lair Functionality Locked: Sealed until first expansion.

  Additional purchasable defenses unlock as discovered.

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  Traps

  Lair Functionality Locked: Sealed until first expansion.

  Additional purchasable traps unlock as discovered.

  I stepped away from the Lair terminal.

  “Looks like we’re off to hire our first NPC.”

  “Freelancers aren’t exactly NPCs. Like me, they’re former players from other World Dungeons.”

  “Former players? Jesus, Dick. I don’t want to buy any slaves.”

  “They’re not slaves—they’re Freelancers. And I assure you, every one of them is a volunteer.”

  “Like actual volunteers? Or volunteered volunteers?”

  I had a term for that last one: voluntold. A former boss tried that shit on me once. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, so we compromised. My ass landed in lockup while his went to the emergency room.

  Surprisingly, I never did any real time for my actions. I always chalked it up to karma. I never hit anyone who didn’t have it coming.

  Dickhead started explaining. “It’s one of the only ways for non-galactic citizens to earn credits to pay off their debts. If it makes you feel any better, you can think of it as doing them a favor.”

  I didn’t do favors, but if I was going to be their boss or whatever, I’d treat them right.

  “Anything else I’ve got to do before heading out?”

  My undead knuckles practically exploded as I cracked them like I normally did. Holy hell, they were way louder than before.

  I kind of liked it.

  Then, discount Obi-Wan reminded me, “Use the Coin, Frank.”

  I snorted at his unintended phrasing. Maybe having him around wasn’t the worst idea after all.

  I held out my hand, summoning the FrankUp coin from my inventory. It was my first time seeing one. I turned to check both sides. They wore the same face: me, smirking. God, I looked like such a douchebag with that smug, conceited, franking half-smile. I had to look away.

  “How—”

  I was in the middle of asking how to use the damn thing when it just came to me.

  I pinched the coin against my thumb and flicked it. A sharp ting rang out as the coin spun through the air and vanished.

  A System prompt appeared.

  [Choose one attribute to increase.]

  [Strength]

  [Dexterity]

  [Toughness]

  [Perception]

  [Willpower]

  [Fortitude]

  I noticed Constitution and Intellect weren’t options. It also didn’t look like I could save the choice for later. But I was fine with that. I already knew what I wanted.

  Besides, there were only two types of people who didn’t use every advantage before getting into a fight: idiots and idiots who’d never been in a damn fight before.

  I tapped on Dexterity and got a notification.

  [Your Dexterity has increased to level 11.]

  “Excellent choice,” Dickhead said. “It’s what I’d have gone with. Let me know if you’d like to discuss any of your choices.”

  But the System messages continued.

  [New feat triggered. Chance reset to 5%.]

  My Menu flew open on its own and brought me to a new submenu: Feat Selection.

  Choose one.

  Option 1 - Companion

  You receive a bonded companion. Companions come in a variety of emotionally and physically supportive forms:

  ? A talking pet with loyalty and sass.

  ? A best friend who believes in you, even when they shouldn’t.

  ? A stunningly attractive partner who finds your undead vibe oddly irresistible.

  Benefit: Party banter. Reduced loneliness. Companions offer passive bonuses based on affection and proximity. Some companions can fight—poorly.

  Drawback: Requires constant protection, feeding, and emotional management. Failure to care for your companion may result in abandonment, resentment, or permanent emotional scarring. Also, you’re a zombie, and thanks to Uncirculated, it doesn’t work anymore. No magic pill is going to change that.

  “I can fix them!”

  Option 2 - Prison Pocket

  Warning! This is a cursed feat. Running low on space? For the low, low cost of your dignity, there’s a place you can stash a few more items…

  Benefit: Gain +5 additional inventory slots. Items stored this way are hidden, secure, and extremely internal.

  Drawback: You know exactly where your items are. Items placed in your Prison Pocket can only be retrieved while inside your Lair.

  “Two words… flared base.”

  Option 3 - Critical Thinking

  You’re no longer vulnerable to headshots. Instead of taking damage, you lose Intellect as your brain absorbs the hit, literally.

  Benefit: You’re immune to all headshot damage. You don’t die from headshots while at negative Vitality.

  Drawback: You lose 1 Intellect for every instance of damage this feat absorbs. If you run out of Intellect, you still die.

  “Now that’s using your head!”

  Feat choice tokens remaining:

  2 - Banishes | 2 - Lockdowns | 2 - Re-rolls

  Reminder:

  Banish permanently removes one choice from the feat pool.

  Lockdown forces one choice to reappear on the next feat roll.

  Re-roll replaces all non-lockdowned feats with different feats.

  Unchosen feats return to the feat pool unless banished.

  Don’t screw it up.

  At the very bottom were my options.

  Option 1: [Choose], [Banish], or [Lockdown] Companion.

  Option 2: [Choose], [Banish], or [Lockdown] Prison Pocket.

  Option 3: [Choose], [Banish], or [Lockdown] Critical Thinking.

  Option 4: [Re-roll].

  “Dick, you seeing all this?”

  “Oh yeah. Wow, these are some nifty options.”

  That wasn’t the word I’d use.

  One note in Companion’s drawbacks confirmed a sneaking suspicion. I hadn’t gotten so much as a semi since the Tutorial started. Not that HATE, monsters, or ripping people’s heads off ever got me hot under the collar. But it usually had a mind of its own, and I’d get at least a few chubs per day.

  Good, I determined. Playing with myself was just a waste of time, and thinking with my dick had always gotten me in trouble.

  I also wasn’t interested in a sassy cocker-doodle—or whatever—following me around and saying dumb shit. I liked animals because they couldn’t talk. Giving them the ability to bitch at me for pissing, shitting, or franking in front of them sounded like a terrible idea. Asshole already yowled for a week when I forgot to feed him that one time. He acted as if I’d tried to kill him. Ungrateful furry bastard.

  Not to mention that the position of plucky fanboy was taken. I already had one Dickhead; I didn’t want another.

  I tapped on banish, and Companion dropped from the list.

  “Frank, what are you doing? You know that’s permanent, right?”

  “Good. Don’t need options I’ll never pick taking up space.”

  As much as I’d have liked to have banished Prison Pocket, increasing my inventory space by 50% wasn’t something I could afford to pass up without consideration.

  While shit going up my ass sounded counterintuitive to its function, the fact that I couldn’t get it back out until after I was in my Lair was the real problem. It sounded like a literal pain in my ass and far too inconvenient.

  I frowned, knowing I’d probably end up taking it eventually.

  Best keep it around, I thought, and moved on to the next choice.

  My frown deepened when I realized I might’ve been too hasty in using the banish. If I didn’t like any of my options, I should have used a re-roll. The rules implied I’d have gotten all different feats to choose from, meaning no repeats.

  But it might not have worked that way, and I’d already done it.

  “Dick, what do you think of Critical Thinking?”

  “It looks incredibly strong. I believe it’ll scale well into the later expansions. Right now, you take triple damage from headshots, which isn’t a huge issue when dealing with low-level NPCs. But as their damage scales with levels, your Vitality won’t.”

  “So some frankface hits me in the head for a bajillion damage and it’ll only cost me 1 Intellect?”

  That would turn my Intellect into temporary hit points. Stackable, infinitely scaling temporary hit points that never expired. Very potent.

  “Fictional numbers aside, yes, that’s exactly how it’d work. But I think you should take Prison Pocket this time. Looting is one of the best ways to gear up at the start of a Tutorial.”

  Dickhead made a good point. But I went with Critical Thinking anyway. I had a feeling this feat was one of the System’s freebies before the normal drop chances kicked in. Who knew when I’d get another one?

  [Critical Thinking, accepted.]

  Besides, I couldn’t loot if I were dead.