With only a couple of minutes left, I figured what the hell, might as well sate my curiosity. “What did you mean by native players?”

  “What…?” It sounded like my manager hadn’t finished processing my latest frank up. “Sorry, uh… native players are the indigenous species.”

  I smiled at the thought of Karen having to identify as indigenous.

  “The rest of the galaxy can join after the second expansion. They’re referred to as alien players. But other than the name, they’ve got to follow most of the same rules as you. They just have easier access to credits, so they can afford quality of life services.”

  “Great. This shit’s pay to win.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “And what’s the deal with Intellect?”

  “Anyone with less than three is basically an NPC. You Know Who takes over, and you get to watch from the back seat.”

  It was odd he wouldn’t mention the System. Instead, he kept saying “You Know Who” like it’d summon some big, bad, evil guy if he mentioned it by name.

  My manager continued. “But if you eat enough human brains and hit three in Intellect, it’ll give you back your body. Although You Know Who is more likely to get you killed first. Even with all your new strength, the NPCs will eventually figure out zombies are weak to headshots and use that to take you down.”

  Dwelling on the worst-case scenario wouldn’t help either of us.

  I asked, “And if they don’t?”

  “With three Intellect, you’re still not out of the woods. You won’t understand me, or anyone else for that matter, until level four. Speaking comes back at five, reading at six, and writing at seven. Ten Intellect is the average starting value, if you were curious.”

  I wasn’t, but it didn’t hurt to know.

  “So I won’t be able to talk to you once it starts?”

  The second hand of the clock worked its way around for the final lap.

  “You’ll be able to grunt, and I can still see you, but you won’t understand any of my replies.”

  It sounded lonely. Good thing I had always been more comfortable alone. I didn’t know which second would be my last, so I watched the clock tick away until another System message floated in my vision.

  [World Dungeon: Earth initial configuration complete.]

  [Now entering the Tutorial.]

  Not enough seconds later, it all went dark.

  Day 1

  My eyes opened. I sat up and saw the tall colored windows first. Then I noticed the clock and all the crosses. I was somewhere that seemed familiar.

  My head was in a fog, like I hadn’t had my three cups of coffee yet.

  Church. I’m still in the church.

  A floating message appeared in front of me.

  [Welcome to the Tutorial.]

  I couldn’t read it, groaned, and took a swing at it. My hand sailed through the message and struck the backrest of the pew in front of me. It let out a loud crack as the wood molding snapped. A vertical line now ran up and down the back panel.

  Another unknowable System message followed.

  [You have one hour before your temporary shelter collapses.]

  I swiped at the visual clutter again, splitting what remained of the back panel in half.

  Gasps and a startled yelp alerted me that I wasn’t alone. There were eight others with me in the church, or that’s how many I counted in front of me.

  “You alright, Frank?” Karen asked.

  Her words were funny, so I tried to ask, Say again? Neither my voice nor mouth responded.

  I got up and started walking toward her. My limp was gone, along with the rest of my aches and pains. Checking to see the state of my knee would’ve been nice, but Feral Frank only had eyes for Karen.

  “Frank, what are you doing?” Karen eyed me warily as I approached.

  Her jumbled words reflected more annoyance than concern. My mouth watered.

  “Mom, Mom…” Taylor said nervously as she tugged on her mother’s sleeve. Thank God her words had the proper urgency. Just like before, the kid had been the first to realize what was happening. The look in her eyes pleaded with me to stop, to stay away. But no one could reason with Feral Frank.

  I tried anyway.

  I planted my feet, but they didn’t listen and took another step.

  Run! I yelled, but my voice remained silent.

  Karen finally noticed my stare. It was primal. Feral. But it didn’t make her fearful.

  Her brows furrowed in anger as she jabbed a finger at me and said, “Back off, Frank. I’m married.”

  I’m not some employee you can boss around, Karen! Get away from me now!

  I didn’t stop, and she didn’t run. Instead, she swung her hand to slap me.

  Feral Frank caught it. She glared at me with indignation.

  Feral Frank squeezed, and the composure of the room shattered with her wrist.

  I felt her bones shift, snap, and grind under my tightening grip.

  I screamed in my head.

  Stolen novel; please report.

  Karen screamed in pain.

  Taylor screamed in horror.

  I watched, helpless to do little more than sit on my mental couch, as Feral Frank dove in and sank my teeth into her neck.

  Her blood gushed into my mouth and down my throat. Warm and surging, I knew the taste. I’d had countless broken noses and busted lips before. That familiar, briny, metallic tang coated my tongue.

  I wanted to gag but swallowed instead. Feral Frank clenched my jaw shut, and just like the pew, Karen’s throat gave way to my super strength.

  My head ripped back, revealing her ruined neck. Her surprised, rapid, beating heart quickened her end, sending streaks of crimson into the air and onto her daughter.

  Taylor blinked as her mother’s blood spattered onto her face and down her blouse.

  Feral Frank didn’t care or even slow down. Every one of these human meat sacks had a tasty treat to be had. And it wasn’t the flesh or the blood my mouth was after.

  My hands wrapped around her still-spurting throat. I felt her windpipe collapse, but my fingers refused to stop strangling her.

  She was already dead; her gasping body just hadn’t realized it yet.

  Taylor shrieked, pounding her fists on my back to let her mother go. I was terrified Feral Frank would turn my attention on her.

  Stop it! I told myself. I willed myself, but Feral Frank didn’t listen.

  The girl’s strikes hurt more than they should have, but the pain barely registered.

  I released Karen to her doomed fate.

  My arm lurched toward the kid.

  I nearly lost my mind screaming, No! Leave her alone, damn you!

  It didn’t help.

  I smacked her away like a gnat. She flew across the room and crumpled against the wall. By some small mercy, she still had light in her eyes. Feral Frank gazed just long enough to see her trying to sit up.

  More unreadable System messages flashed across my vision.

  [You’ve unlocked a World-first Achievement! First Blood.]

  [You’ve unlocked a World-first Achievement! Bad Blood.]

  [You’ve unlocked a World-first Achievement! Fool Me Once.]

  [You’ve unlocked a Universe-first Achievement! Baddest Blood.]

  But it was just more visual clutter to me. I swatted at the scrolling screen again as my manager started freaking out.

  “Holy shit, Frank! Oh my gods! No one—no one’s ever done that before! I don’t know how you did it… This is insane!” my manager yelled in my ears.

  Asshole. He knew I couldn’t understand what the frank he was going on about.

  If it was about the girl, I already hated myself for what I’d done.

  Thank God she didn’t interest Feral Frank. I mentally sighed in relief when I stomped off in search of someone else. Some of these assholes might’ve had it coming, but not a kid.

  She didn’t deserve any of this shit.

  I found a guy wielding the heat gun. The heated element scorched my forearm as I reached out, cupped his head and slammed it down onto the nearest pew.

  His body crumpled, and Feral Frank hesitated. I could smell it immediately. The pooling blood on the floor gave off a tantalizing scent. I inhaled deeply. My eyes fluttered as I realized what it was. Cerebrospinal fluid.

  I almost dropped to my knees to lap it up. If I could have vomited, I would’ve.

  Another of the idiots came at me with a baseball bat.

  How he found one in the middle of a church, I’ll never know.

  His first swing caught me upside the head while I was drooling over some brain juice.

  I take it back; he might’ve been the smartest one in the bunch. At least he knew to aim for my damn head.

  The second swing came right after the first, but I blocked it with my burnt arm.

  My other arm shot out, catching his. The bat fell from his grip while I tightened mine.

  I yanked. Hard. He cried out as I dislocated his shoulder.

  I tugged his disjointed limb again, lifting him off his feet. The poor bastard landed on his back. His arm had twisted at a very wrong angle in my hands.

  I pinned his chest under my foot and wrenched his arm with all my might. It slurped, popped, and eventually came free.

  The dismembered limb finally separated, spraying blood across the altar of God.

  Holy frank, I thought.

  Feral Frank left BatMan convulsing on the floor to bleed out.

  I wanted to turn my damn head and see if the kid was alright but was glad I didn’t. I didn’t want Feral Frank getting any ideas.

  With a severed arm in hand, I beat an old lady to death with it, painting the last wretched moments of her life on the walls, the pews, and the floor in monochromatic red.

  Jesus franking Christ, I thought as I broke her.

  I’d done things I wasn’t proud of before. But this? This shit would haunt me for the rest of my life. I couldn’t even wallow in self-loathing because all I wanted to do was sit down and crack into that vintage, dementia-addled brain of hers.

  I mentally slapped myself to stop from wondering what she’d taste like.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the other old lady desperately gasping for breath as she clutched at her chest. Her wide eyes locked on me—full of terror, but unable to look away. Her body spasmed one last time before relaxing into a breathy, weak moan.

  I watched her light go out as she slowly slid down the pew. Old broad went out with a heart attack. Not the worst way to go, considering what I’d done to her friend.

  [Your Intimidation Skill has increased to level 1.]

  Two of the HATE cult worked to tear down the barricade that kept them locked in here with a brain-thirsty monster. They’d gotten the chairs out of the way and pushed back the pews. It was the bookcase they were having trouble with. Deep gouges in the floor leading up to it suggested it’d taken most of them to drag it over in the first place.

  They couldn’t hear the footsteps as I approached over all the books they were tipping out onto the floor.

  My hand reached out to grab the first guy. He yelped as I spun him around. I recognized the black buttoned shirt and the white collar.

  The priest grabbed at his chest, fumbling to get a hold of his crucifix. His fingers wrapped around the holy symbol and shoved it in my face. He started chanting a prayer or something.

  “The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ—”

  Feral Frank shut him up by chucking him across the room. A candelabra broke the priest’s fall. It snapped in half, impaling his body as he slid down the shaft to rest at the base.

  Goddammit.

  I mean, I had my suspicions before, but murdering a man of the cloth? I was definitely going to hell now.

  It unsettled me that the System told me the second they were dead. I felt like one of those cheating NPCs who knew stuff that only meta-gaming could explain. Technically, I was an NPC at the moment, so I guess that made sense.

  There were only two people left: the guy behind me and Taylor. But I hadn’t seen her, alive or otherwise, since knocking her across the room.

  A deafening crack came from right behind me, the church’s acoustics amplifying the noise.

  My shoulder lurched forward on its own.

  Feral Frank glanced down, confused about the hole in my shirt and shoulder. Odd. There wasn’t much blood.

  I spun around to find the barrel of a gun pointed at my chest.

  This dickweed had a gun the entire time?!

  He could’ve saved them. He could have stopped me, and that made me mad. This cowardly asshat could’ve shot me in the damn head at any time.

  I mentally sighed as he dumped three more rounds into my chest.

  Are you kidding me right now? Of all the people to exercise the Second Amendment, it’s the guy with less Intellect than me…

  I knew he’d shot me four times because I’d felt each one. But as promised, there wasn’t much pain.

  Also, I didn’t feel bad about this kill. I just kicked back and let Darwinism do its thing.

  Feral Frank tried smacking the gun away but missed. Then, I tried smacking it away again and got clipped in the arm for my trouble.

  There was only one bullet left, and we both knew it. The idiot glanced down at the gun, probably contemplating a lead sandwich. Ironic, since he could have saved everyone if he’d just fed it to me at the beginning of this shitshow.

  But since the first five body shots hadn’t killed me, this genius figured he’d try again. He aimed, squeezed the trigger, and shot me in the heart.

  One corner of my mouth twitched. I couldn’t tell if Feral Frank was trying to smile or snarl.

  My hand finally found the GunMan’s shoulder, grappling him.

  I mentally groaned, hoping Taylor wasn’t watching. She didn’t need to see this shit again.

  I tore a chunk out of his neck, but the wound wasn’t immediately fatal like before. It oozed instead of gushed. Feral Frank took hold of his screaming head with my hands and silenced him with a forceful twist. After the crunch of his spine, I felt his body go limp.

  With any luck, the kid might still be alive. I hadn’t seen her body, at the very least.

  The bookcase still barred the doors, and none of the windows had been smashed in or out.

  It was unbearable to think she was locked in here with a monster like me.

  Desperate to keep the kid safe, I was overjoyed when Feral Frank got distracted and walked me back to what remained of Karen. I’d gladly slurp down anything if it gave that girl a shot at getting away.

  I palmed Karen’s cyanotic face and smashed it down onto the floor. The rug cushioned the blow. Human skulls were tougher than they looked. I heard a crack, but that wasn’t enough to get to the center of this Tootsie Pop.