Cait knocked on Qi’s door.

  She answered, naked, technically, but already in battle form and ready to rumble in a different kind of way. She looked down at Cait, her smirk, for once, making the Amazon feel small.

  “You know, when you said you needed me, I was hoping for something else,” she rumbled. Her voice tickled something deep inside Cait when it was like that.

  Welp, always a bigger fish I guess, she thought, allowing a slow smile to spread across her face as she looked up at Qi.

  “Por que no los dos?” she said, and the dragon let those sharp teeth gleam in a grin.

  “Speak English, white girl. Where we heading?”

  QI shut the door, and put a heavy arm around Cait’s shoulders as the smaller woman led them to the stairway.

  “Warhawk called Lira while I was still on the phone with you. She bullied Dreamboat into a short notice session, wants to put Fingerguns through his paces and get Thoughtless accustomed to the team before they head out on patrol. Figured we could do the same with you!” she nudged the big dragon with her elbow. “What’s the deal there anyway? Kinda assumed you and Thoughtless were on a team together, since you have to listen to her and Clyde bone down every night.”

  Qi chuckled, but shook her massive head. It was weird to see a dragon give you an embarrassed grin, and weirder that Cait had seen it enough now to start getting used to it.

  “Nah, I, uh, well, there’s a lot of friendly fire when I let loose. Literally. Hard to keep a team, and harder to blame them when they kick me out.”

  She said that like it didn’t hurt, but she wasn’t a good actor. Even if she was, it would’ve been hard to believe.

  Cait snaked an arm over the base of the dragon’s tail, giving her a hearty slap on the back.

  “Don’t have to worry about that with us! Flame me all you want, and Kennedy’s almost always linked up with me, so she’s effectively fireproof too. B-man…. Less so, but he regenerates, and honestly I bet those tentacles taste great flame-broiled.”

  HE ALSO HAS SUPER HEARING, announced his silly accent over team comms. The rest of the team was waiting for them in the lobby, but damn, Cait hadn’t known his range extended that far.

  Shit, gonna have to apologize. Lira and I aren’t quiet even by normal people standards.

  She noticed Qi was looking at her weird, and realized she wouldn’t be on team chat yet.

  “He just reminded me he has super hearing!” Cait explained as they descended the stairwell. “He also says Gwyn likes the way he tastes, but she’s never actually swallowed. Personally, I think that’s inconsiderate of her.”

  FUCK YOU!

  Qi laughed, then followed Cait the rest of the way to the lobby, and into 13 tentacular variations on the theme of ‘middle finger’. One had the hand part designed as a fairly ornate crown, and Cait was duly impressed. Breastman scowled at the slow clap she gave as she walked up to them.

  Cait’s view of Kennedy had been obscured by the forest of rude tentacles as she approached, but she was rocked back on her heels when they finally dropped.

  Kennedy had still be getting ready when Cait had left the room to get Qi, but holy fucking shit was she ready.

  Like always, she was going to fight in street clothes. She’d make a black potato sack and Cena style jorts look good, but today….

  She had on wide-knit fishnets under her combat boots, and Cait followed them all the way up her legs to the black denim high waist shorts that were barely long enough to be acceptable for public use. Those shorts rose to an inch below a shining diamond jewel adorning her exposed belly button, under a RELEASE THE BOWMEN shirt tied up just beneath her breasts.

  She’d taken the time to touch up her makeup too, and her golden eyes stared out from beneath smoky eyeshadow that made her look even more ghostly pale than usual. The crown was those lips though. Nothing that black had ever looked like it would taste that good.

  Kennedy smirked as she saw the effect she’d had on Cait, and her eyes immediately flicked to Qi, expression just a little smug.

  Whatever reaction she’d wanted from the dragon, it probably wasn’t what she got. Qi’s eyes shot between Cait and the stunning goth, then she grinned and extended an enormous taloned fist, which Cait met with her own.

  Kennedy scowled. She spun on the heel of her boot to leave, and Cait barely held back a low whistle. Those shorts covered a lot less in the back than they did up front, and that hadn’t been much. A tentacle slapped her in the face and she gave Breastman a sheepish grin as she started to follow.

  “C’mon, buddy!” she complained. “You’re telling me you’d keep your wits if Gwyn showed up wearing that?”

  STRONGER MAN THAN YOU

  The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

  “No you aren’t! You have a hat that says BREAST MAN!”

  NO IT DOESN’T

  ASS LAD

  “Don’t repeat jokes,” Cait chastised, and gestured at Kennedy. That ass was firm, but not so much that there wasn’t plenty of pleasing jiggle. “And even if that is what it said, then you would fucking understand!”

  “Just curious,” interjected Qi, “pretty sure Cait was joking earlier, but has anyone tried eating one of your lost tentacles?”

  !!!!!!

  Breastman’s bill shot straight up in shock, and he put a wall of tentacle between himself and Qi.

  “No, sorry, fuck,” Qi said, holding her claws out in appeasement. “I meant, like, has one ever been bitten off or something? You seem like the kind of thing that might have acid blood.”

  Breastman relaxed, although Cait could tell he was still tense. She wasn’t sure how, honestly, but she’d been getting better at picking things like that up even in the inhuman.

  Well, I do spend like 90% of my time mind-in-mind with an empath, maybe its rubbing off on me.

  B-man had put a tentacle to his ‘face’ rubbing it under his gaping maw, a gesture that meant he was thinking.

  “Its fucked up that I remembered this before you did, but yeah, Titanocarp got one when you tried to pull me out of its gullet,” Cait reminded him. “How often are you losing arms that you’ve lost track?”

  Breastman gave his weird little shrug and kept sopping along. Thinking a little more about it, Cait realized he’d been losing them a fucking lot. She couldn’t remember the last fight he’d come out of whole. Regen or not, had to hurt.

  Qi yelped as a furry black lightning bolt slammed to the ground in front of her, happily trotting up to Kennedy and rubbing against her thigh.

  So that’s what jealousy feels like, Cait thought, wishing it was her cheek pressed to those fishnets.

  “Sweet baby!” Kennedy squealed, squatting to ruffle up the Cruma, who chuffed in appreciation. “Are you gonna help us fuck up Rodeo Squad! You are! Yes you are!”

  “Uh….” Qi’s question didn’t need to be voiced to be answered.

  “Kennedy’s got a thing for strays apparently. We picked Rose up hunting Ironhide, and Keeper can’t keep-her down,” Cait explained.

  “Huh!” Qi said, impressed. “She’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah” Cait agreed. “Cat’s cute too.”

  Kennedy’s golden eyes met hers, a sly smile evident in them even with her mouth hidden kissing Rose’s forehead.

  That thing really is a just a big kitten for her.

  Cait felt the primal emotions of Rose begin to flow into her mind as Kennedy established a link with the Cruma. It turned its big head to fix her with its own yellow eyes, so close to Kennedy’s gold. It looked smug, but Cait was probably projecting.

  Her comm buzzed, and she found a message from Kevin.

  Shit, its just like that old movie. I forgot Kevin.

  K: hey Amaranthine!

  K: that attack is all over the news

  K: is everyone okay?

  C: hate to say it, but no. Dawns down but not out. A bunch of other guardians ate it

  C: I think weve got it handled now

  C: stay safe, kid, ill check in next time I get a second but it might be a bit

  They walked into the Coliseum, and Cait looked around for Lira. She found the redhead running Bubb-Bill through a workout routine, in an area of the gym where all sharp edges had been covered with soft foam. She didn’t think she’d noticed them enter, but when she looked away for a second and looked back, the girls leggings were pulled down to just under her asscheeks, whale tail on display.

  Oh my god, Cait thought.

  “Oh my god,” she heard Kennedy mutter under her breath ahead of her.

  Lira shot them a quick mischievous grin over her shoulder, shimmying her leggings back over her mountain of ass. Cait jogged up to Kennedy.

  “Only the best for us, right?” she whispered conspiratorially, wiggling her eyebrows. Kennedy scowled at the fist she extended towards her, before relenting and grinning as she tapped her knuckles to Cait’s.

  “Only the best,” she agreed.

  INNAPPROPRIATE

  FOR THE WORKPLACE

  “Quiet you, you’re technically always naked,” Cait shot back.

  NEVER ONCE

  ALWAYS HAT

  “Fuck, good point,” Cait conceded as they entered the Dream Lounge. Rodeo Squad already relaxed in loungers, and Dreamboat sat on the podium, leering at Warhawk.

  “No, really, I can make the dreams anything we want babe. Let me take you to Rio, like it was before Charybdis ruined the mecca of Ass. The Mai-Tais are just as good when they ain’t real,” he pleaded, his words dripping nearly as much grease as his face. To her credit, a gun was in Warhawk’s hand fast enough it might have actually teleported.

  “Anythin’ huh?” she asked, unecessarily cocking the semi-auto for emphasis. “Could be in a dream right now then, I reckon. Wonder how I could check….”

  Her finger stroked the trigger tenderly, and while Dreamboat seemed to be perpetually sweaty, a particularly big drop rolled down from way up on his deeply receded hairline.

  “Alright!” he clapped, “one combat arena comin’ right up! Get your asses in the seats, folks.”

  Kennedy winked at Warhawk as she sat down, and her friend returned a fierce grin. The wind was pushed out of her as Rose jumped into her chair, landing right on her stomach before settling down.

  “Ever wondered how you’d hold up?” Qi asked her roommate Bri, occupying a chair on the other team.

  “Not really,” the ebony beauty responded with a slow smile. “You’re tough, babe, but you’ve got the mental defense of a toddler. This will be quick.”

  Qi grinned back as Dreamboat sat down, focusing as the chintzy gold dreamcatcher on his chain began to float.

  Lines of blue, flash of white, wake.

  Cait got her bearings, immediately diving in front of Kennedy as a volley of gunfire meant for the goth slammed into her chest. Warhawk, the shooter, took to the air across a familiar grassy field.

  “Think you can snipe her, B-man?” Cait asked, finding the little monster already tracking her with a blastring.

  GONNA FIND OUT

  He loosed, but Warhawk had clearly been expecting it. She spun, angling a metallic wing between herself and the blast. Not only did it not hurt her, but Cait found herself diving again, like a football goalie, to get herself between Kennedy and the new angle of the redirected blast.

  She looked back, seeing Qi had taken up her previous position in front of the softer targets. Link or not, they knew Fingerguns could still take down Kennedy. Cait scanned the field for the techno-cowboy, knowing they didn’t have a bigger threat at range.

  Cait crashed back into her body, one eye washed in red heat. With the other, she saw Fingerguns scowling down at her as he drilled a beam directly into her eyeball. When he saw she was awake, he gave a sigh that was becoming familiar.

  “If that won’t do it what will?” he said in an erudite intonation that wasn’t his own. Shaking his head, he continued, “What a waste of a Character.”

  “Clyde?” Bri asked, shaking awake, her voice a heart rending mix of confusion, concern and betrayal. Not-Fingerguns turned towards her, lining up a deadly finger with her forehead.

  “Ah, Bri. Thank you for making an old man feel a little younger last night. I am certain Mr. Setler would have appreciated it.”

  His fingertip glowed, but in the millisecond before it fired, a purple tentacle speared through his temple. His body hadn’t finished slumping before it fluttered into a cloud of pages of yellowed paper.

  The sound Bri made was half-sob, half-scream, and all pain.

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