‘A beginner's guide to understanding mana’ started off explaining basically the same things Alvara had told him. The focus was a little different. Sometimes it gave more examples or glossed over something she went into more detail about, but it was basically the same. It wasn’t nearly as shocking hearing about it the second time.
Some time between first being told about it and now reading it, he’d started to accept that everything really was mana. When he walked the Ways, he felt it. When he ate Agrona’s meals, he experienced it. At some point, without realising it, he’d accepted that the world was made of mana. Without the distraction of his worldview crumbling, he was able to focus much more on what the book told him the second time around.
That’s not all, just because the book and Alvara covered some of the same topics didn’t mean there was nothing new to learn. Alvara’s introduction was only a brief overview. The book had time to go into far greater detail.
‘Dear reader, it brings this humble author great delight that I may be the one to introduce you to the wonders of mana. The first thing you need to know is that mana, all mana as far as we know, comes from the Origin River. When the mana that flows in the river has no attribute, this type of mana has many names, but for now, we will refer to it as unattributed mana. It is only when this mana interacts with attributed mana in some way that it changes its nature. Dear reader, when I say all mana, I mean all mana. And yes, that includes you reading this book, as you too are made of attributed mana.’
‘While unattributed mana has many other fascinating properties, it is almost exclusively studied by Starfarers, Dragons, World Turtles, and other beings on that level. Since it is a subject far beyond you, dear reader, and admittedly also far beyond the purview of this humble author, we shall leave the matter of unattributed mana there. Instead, we shall turn our focus to the far more relevant mana, attributed mana.’
‘Now, if you’ve grasped the principle that all mana is, in essence, the same. You might think to yourself: ‘Why does mana behave so differently based on its attributes?’. Referring back to our examples at the start of the book. Why does water extinguish fire? Why is it that fire burns wood? If they’re fundamentally the same thing, why don’t they get along? Well, dear reader, allow me to present you with the most frustrating answer you will ever face as a Traveller. The mana does so because it chooses to.’
‘Confused? Welcome. In many cultures across space, being confused by that answer is what finally allows you to consider yourself a Traveller. If you’re expecting an answer from this book, dear reader, I’m afraid you’ll have to prepare to face disappointment.’
‘What I can do is answer some of the questions that might be going through your head at this very moment. Is mana alive? Sentient? What do I mean by 'it chooses to'? Can it choose not to? Well, we know mana can be ‘alive’ as you, dear reader, are mana, and you are in fact ‘alive’. At least this humble author hopes that you are. If you aren’t, you really have more pressing matters to be concerned over than listening to this humble author prattle on.’
‘Is mana sentient? Well, it can be, after all, dear reader, you, I hope, are sentient. Dear reader, perhaps now you can begin to grasp why this question has befuddled Travellers since the dawn of time.’
‘Allow this humble author to elucidate, dear reader. Generally, we only refer to things with life mana as ‘alive’ and things with mind mana as ‘sentient’. So by the general use of those terms, mana is neither alive nor sentient. Though if you wish to argue the point, the Hall of rhymes and reasons has had a continuous debate on the topic that has been running for roughly the last fifteen centuries. I welcome you to join them.’
‘I digress, dear reader, you see even though we do not refer to mana with the terms ‘alive’ and ‘sentient’ it can, seemingly, still make choices.’
‘Allow me, dear reader, to regale you with my favourite tale from a little agricultural world in my home system. As I find it to be the most entertaining way to explain the nature of mana.’
‘You see, it is said that many years ago, two farmers had their land divided by a river. Unfortunately, though large, the river could not sustain all the crops on both farmers’ fields without affecting fields further downstream. Local laws were written in such a way that farmers would face heavy penalties should they affect farmers that lived downstream, but made no provision for splitting water with neighbours.’
‘For many years, the two farmers argued over how much water each of them could take until one day, one of the farmers had a brilliant idea. Gathering a couple of workers, in the dead of night, he snuck up to the unclaimed mountains to the north and started slowly diverting the river to flow closer to his land, thereby claiming more of the water.’
‘While the act at first went unnoticed, the other farmer soon realised what had happened and so set out to divert the river to his land instead. What ensued was several years of both farmers diverting the river back and forth in an attempt to seize more water for themselves. Eventually, the river grew so tired of the constant back-and-forth jostling that it chose to do something about it.’
‘One morning, the farmers woke to the startling discovery that the river had decided to simply avoid both farms by diverting over them. The river and its water were unchanged. It simply flowed into the air, crossed into the next field, where it flowed back into its original channel and continued on as if nothing out of sorts had happened!’
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
‘You see, dear reader, that is the nature of mana. Sometimes it may choose to change its behaviour without warning. You may ask why that river could choose to ignore gravity and flow through the air. But dear reader, you can also ask why water normally chooses to obey gravity. For both questions, I give you the same answer, dear reader. We simply don’t know.’
‘Now, while you might worry for the greedy little farmers who had lost access to the river. You may rest assured, dear reader, as today both farms are home to rival resorts that play host to people who come from far and wide to see the floating river.’
‘While the story may sound outlandish, dear reader, it is simply the nature of the world we live in and is one of many examples where mana chooses to ignore what early scholars arrogantly called the ‘laws of nature’. From water that refuses to extinguish fire, to islands, mountains, and rivers that simply ignore gravity, our world is replete with examples of mana choosing to do such marvellous and unexpected things.’
The eccentric author’s ramblings might have been entertaining, and the information sounded important. But Felix couldn’t see how any of it would help him pass the trial. The rest of the book continued to expand on the nature of mana, including the nature of mana in people.
None of that was helpful either, though learning that dwarves and elves were fey and technically not part of the humanoid races was interesting.
Just because it was interesting didn’t mean it was useful. The only really valuable thing he got from the rest of the book was learning of two more types of esoteric affinities. Gravity and time joined life and mind on the list. He still didn’t understand why they’d be different from other affinities.
When Felix set down the book, rubbing his tired eyes, he did so with a sigh.
“So… that was just a waste of time, wasn’t it?”
His gaze drifted over the rest of the shelf, wondering if any of the books there would help him out of his predicament.
Standing up with a groan, he placed the book back on the shelf with the others.
“Hopefully I’ll have better luck tomorrow.”
The next day, Felix did not, in fact, have any better luck. The next few days followed much the same pace. Felix would wake up early and read until he collapsed, taking only a break for lunch with Lara and Aster.
While he rapidly progressed through the books and picked up a bunch of general knowledge, none of it helped him get out of his current predicament.
‘A beginner’s guide to Martial artists and Magi’ helped him understand that the difference between the paths came down to how they interacted with mana. While Magi used their mind to control mana in the world around them, Martial artists absorbed the mana and made it part of themselves.
That’s why esoteric affinities didn’t work for martial artists. They were just too strange. Your body didn’t know what to do with it. If you stuck your hand in a candle, it would burn. Your body could understand that. But time? You didn’t interact with time. You simply existed under its influence. You couldn’t pull your hand out of time and see what that feels like.
Felix would be lying if he said he understood it completely. The only thing he really figured out was that trying to be a knight would almost certainly be a dead end. Unless he could figure out a way to be more alive, or more sentient, he couldn’t see how he’d become a knight.
It didn’t hurt any less, but understanding somehow made the disappointment more bearable. By now, all he wanted to do was find something, anything that would help him. Day by day, his desperation grew. Lara and Aster didn’t say anything, but their attempts at help became more frequent and insistent as days went by without him making any progress. Still, there wasn’t much they could do.
He tried hiding how much it was wearing away at him, watching them clear their first and then their second gates, while he was stuck at the starting line. By the end of the week, he’d already started reading the books a second time. He’d even resolved to read the children's book, in a desperate hope that there would be something he could use.
One day, as he returned from the library in the evening, he was so occupied trying to imagine what he could possibly learn from a children’s story that he didn’t notice a familiar group in the common area. As he stumbled in looking for dinner, they quickly spotted him. He hadn’t seen any of them since the first days here, and with everything going on, he’d honestly mostly forgotten about them.
When Marvin called out from one of the sofas on the other side of the room, he had to fight through his muddled memories and nervous thoughts to even remember who they were.
“Hey! If it isn’t number one! Hey, why don’t you come over here and chat with us for a bit? I’m sure we could all learn something from the guy who finished first! I bet you’re blowing us all out of the water by now, right?” He yelled out with derision clear in his voice.
Felix could feel everyone in the common room turn to Marvin, then from Marvin to him. The room had nearly gone silent, only for whispers to fill the silence. Felix froze. He didn’t want to interact with them.
‘Spokes, there’s no way I can ignore them, is there?’
He wasn’t given time to consider as Marvin yelled out again.
“What’s wrong, number one! Too good to chat with your buddies now? We all just want some pointers.”
Felix clenched his jaw so hard it creaked. Giving himself a second to think, he let out a sigh and headed towards their group. His eyes kept searching the room for any reason not to go, but alas, life wasn’t so merciful. When he got close enough, he could see over the couch. Irene, Eugene, and Marvin sat around a little table with snacks.
‘Great, Eugene and the two assholes, I guess the guy from the library didn’t join in today.’
“What do you want?” Felix asked in a flat tone.
Irene responded before Marvin could. “Hey, don’t be like that, number one, we just wanted to get some tips from you. After all, you finished first, didn’t you? And those little girlfriends of yours are sooo talented. Surely you’ve passed the first trial by now and can give us some tips, right?” Marvin burst out laughing at her remark. Eugene looked a little bothered by their remarks but did nothing to stop them.
Felix pursed his lips, not sure what to say. As soon as Irene noticed his discomfort, she gave an exaggerated fake gasp.
“Surely you’ve finished it? Henry already finished his, and I’ll probably finish tonight or tomorrow. Weren’t you so confident that you’d be a Traveller?”
Felix had nothing to say. Hadn’t he spent the past week trying desperately to move forward, only for it to amount to nothing? How could he possibly defend himself in that situation? All he could do was stare at the floor, biting his lip in frustration. Much to his surprise, Eugene spoke up in his defence.
“Hey, c’mon, guys. You know Felix has those weird affinities. Obviously, it’s going to be harder for him to progress. We should help each other instead of making fun of each other.”
Standing up from the sofa, Eugene put a hand on Felix’s shoulder.
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