As I rapidly traded my jacket and shoes with Dax, Linari sniffed the trail of the two Omnids leading into the forest.
“Do you sniff any weaknesses?” I asked the Scrutimancer.
“The Skinwalker smells like way too many fox eyes in the abyss. I am not detecting weaknesses, there’s too much there, too many souls,” Linari replied. “And the Taniwha smells like… justice and power. A yearning for the truth. A… walking bomb.”
She frowned.
“A bomb?” Piotr asked. “That doesn’t sound very healthy.”
“She smells like despair wound to its tightest point,” Linari added. “If she’s pushed over the edge she is quite capable of killing herself… If denied what she was promised, she will fold her Fractal Engine heart into itself, freeze this entire valley solid, humans and all.”
I gulped.
“Thankfully, the pressure is lessening,” the Scrutimancer said. “But it is still there. This ‘hunt’ was a good idea, one that pushes a very dangerous future away. Keep it up.”
“You can smell bad futures by sniffing someone’s footsteps?” I wondered.
“If they’re this magically catastrophic, yes,” Linari said. “Devastation of this magnitude is quite easy for me to sniff, is how the Frontenachii have been stopping powerful Archmages from defeating the Third Fleet. If you can smell your opponent’s magical life-ending spell-chain a few hours in advance, you can take specific steps to prevent it.”
“Soooo… what do you recommend to prevent doom?” I asked.
“The Truth,” Linari answered. “Give her the Truth, whatever that is. A fairly straightforward path.”
“Which truth?” I wondered, feeling concerned that the Scrut might have already sniffed out the Truth herself about my double life.
“That I do not know… without wasting time on sniffing you both and getting in the way of your courtship-chase ritual.” Linari shrugged, pulling on one of my old shirts atop of her hexasuit and tearing it a bit in the process since it was far too small for her curvy body. “I trust you not to screw it up, human. Give the dragon a long, exciting chase and then hit her with as much truth as possible. Do that and nobody gets frozen tonight. Fuck it up and we'll be scraping your icicles off the ground and reincarnating you tomorrow, with a far deeper investigation... Which I'm not really interested in doing since it'd fuck up my dating... schedule." She pawed at Piotr, mussing up his hair with a smile. "Simple.”
“Simple,” I agreed.
I shoved another Philly roll into my mouth, watching as a curtain of rain blurred the two curvy Omnid figures. The ground beneath them erupted with wildflowers and pink moss spreading outward in perfect concentric circles, as if someone had detonated a botanical bomb.
Heh.
Good. This was what I'd hoped would happen—the two of them bonding, becoming friends, well… Maybe more than friends judging by how vigorously they were making out. Mission accomplished. Backpacks for the Emperor. I thought with the Frontend piloting my gigachad frame and human body.
Up above, the Backend of my mind was preoccupied manufacturing endless Shadies.
Suddenly, I thought of something else that made my stomach drop.
About two minutes ago, I'd said Shady's name. Her actual name. Not "Commander Xandria." Not "my Wendigo girlfriend." Just "Shady."
God damn it, I'm stupid without the Backend planning out my words in advance.
I blame Sage for this too. She’s a distracting menace, even through the holo-projection.
Then again, I’ve already made my decision today, affirmed by my conversation with Linari. Galateya had to be told the truth tonight.
The local miniature rain storm began to clear. Both of the sexy cryptids were extra-distracting now, looking like participants in an impromptu wet t-shirt contest.
Neither of them had reacted to my mouth-blunder. They’d been too busy being furious about the glitter explosion and then preoccupied with making out.
The kiss finally broke.
Galateya looked embarrassed and overwhelmed, scales shifting through colors like a malfunctioning RGB keyboard, mane exploding with hybrid flowers, steam rising off her in waves. Sage seemed just as affected, but regained control of herself rapidly, a delightfully foxy grin stretching across her face.
The Skinwalker winked at me, marched over to the sushi and slowly and cautiously opened the rest of the bento box and procured the box of beers from the cooler. When nothing else exploded, she stuffed a few sushi pieces into her mouth and walked back to Galateya. Then she offered her a White dragon roll.
Galateya stared at the sushi.
“Open mouth, receive yums,” Sage instructed.
The dragon complied, seemingly too defeated by the kiss to argue.
Sage placed the sushi on Galateya's tongue with excruciating slowness, Skinwalker fox-claw brushing against the dragon's lower lip. "Good girl."
I resumed eating my own sushi.
"How you doin’ over there all alone, Swolezilla?" Sage asked innocently, freckles rearranged into smirking emoticons.
"Fine," I said. "Plotting my next move."
Sage pulled Galateya over onto the log beside me and offered her another sushi piece.
“I can feed myself, you know,” Galateya protested.
“And take my new job away?” Sage grinned. “Nu-huh. Not allowed! I'm not going to send my fox resume to other dragons. This is professional relation-shippery! Here.” She shoved a box of various sushi pieces into Teya’s lap. “You feed me too.”
The dragon girl consumed the second sushi and grabbed a piece of sushi herself, meekly offering it to the Skinwalker while detonating with pink lilies across her mane.
The Skinwalker leaned forward and took the sushi between her teeth. Her long tongue flicked out, catching Galateya's fingers, and the dragon made a small embarrassed noise.
"Enjoying yourselves?" I asked casually.
"Immensely," Sage said. "Best hunt ever. Five thousand and sixty nine thumbs up. Would get glitter-bombed again.”
Galateya fed her another piece. Then Sage fed Galateya. They continued this pattern, alternating, Sage cramming as much sensuality into each motion as possible, either nibbling on Teya’s fingers or making satisfied, lewd-adjacent noises that made the hair on the back of my neck tingle.
"So," Sage said, selecting a piece of tamago. "Where's Commander Xandria? And Marshal Nexxali? Why aren't they here helping you? I didn't smell cats or Wendigos at the parking lot."
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"They're in space," I said after a moment's consideration. "Very high-level work that I'm definitely not invited to."
“Yeah right,” Galateya stated. “You’re… half there and half here.”
“Fine,” I said. “Yes I’m half in space and half in the forest, enjoying your holographic company.”
Sage twisted the cap off a beer bottle with her teeth and handed it to Galateya. "Here, T. You look like you need… relaxing hydration."
"I don't need—" Galateya started, then took the beer and drank half of it in one go. "—okay, maybe I do need that."
Sage opened a second beer for herself and took a long pull. "Quality Gardlight beer, A-man."
"Glad you approve." I watched as they continued passing sushi back and forth, punctuated by beer swigs.
Sage ate the final piece of sushi and drained her beer, sliding the bottle back into the cooler. "Well, this has been delightful. Thanks for lunch and company, holo-dawg. Appreciate the sparkle-devastation followed by legit nommage."
"My pleasure." I watched as she stood up, offering a hand to Galateya. "Enjoy the rest of your hunt."
"Oh we will," Sage grinned. She bent down and grabbed her paintball rifle, pulling the strap over her shoulder. "Ready to run, T?"
"Yep." Galateya stood up, looking significantly more composed.
They both looked at my hologram one last time.
"See you soon, Bulk Sinatra,” Sage snapped her fox chompers at me.
"Looking forward to it," I replied. “Mind grabbing the V-ring?”
“Why? So you can track us through it and tremble as your inevitable doom approaches?” Sage asked.
“Yes,” I stated bluntly.
“Aight,” she shoved the ring in her pocket, the transmission winking out.
“Kawathra, map the V-ring,” I said.
“On it,” the Datamancer said.
The holo projection changed to a map. The blinking red dots with the tags [Sage] and [Teya] moved through the forest at the speed of a cheetah. They were bloody fast and heading straight for me.
For a moment they slowed, derailed by the many stink-bombs I detonated behind me, but then resumed, seemingly undeterred. The fox was probably relying on her other senses, and could tell which way I went thanks to the footsteps. Even jumping from tree to tree like a giant monkey didn't seem to deter her.
They were close now. Too close for comfort. I needed someone to slow them down. I looked at the other dots on the map and considered who was closest. Katherine, whose profile Kawathra had uploaded to my gun unit frame with an explanation of who she was, was enjoying her own beer at a picnic table with Dax near the lake. I tapped her holographic icon on the map.
“Katherine?” I said as her hologram manifested in front of me.
“Yes, Ash?” the modded-up gun unit asked.
“Can you slow down Teya and Sage? I’m heading to the boat rental now close to you.”
“Can do,” the cyborg chugged down the beer she was holding.
I burst out of the treeline near the lake's edge and sprinted toward the small dock with a rowboat rental station. An elderly man in a ranger vest sat in a folding chair, reading a newspaper.
"Need to rent a boat," I said, pulling out my wallet. "How much?"
"Thirty bucks an hour. Seventy for the day."
I counted out the cash. "Here. Taking it for the day."
"Uh-huh." He pocketed the cash and gestured to the nearest rowboat. "Oars are in the bottom. Don't go too far out, weather's supposed to turn."
"Noted." I grabbed the oars, pulled the boat into the water from the beach and jumped in. "Thanks."
"You running from something?" He noted the speed I was moving at.
"More like toward something." I pushed off. "Depends on your perspective."
He chuckled. "Good luck, son."
The small rowboat cut through the water as I began rowing, the magitek suit amplifying the motions.
I made it about forty feet from shore before I heard them.
"THERE HE IS! Open fire!"
I glanced back. Sage and Galateya stood at the forest edge, paintball rifles raised.
"YOU THINK WATER WILL SAVE YOU?" Galateya shouted.
"IT'S WORTH A TRY!" I shouted back, rowing faster.
"SHE'S A TANIWHA, FOOL!" Sage yelled. "A LITERAL WATER DRAGON! THIS IS YOUR WORST TACTICAL DECISION!"
"OR MY BEST!" I countered. "WE'LL FIND OUT!"
THWIP THWIP THWIP
Paintballs arced through the air. Most splashed into the water around me. One caught me in the shoulder and bright blue paint exploded across Dax’s shirt.
"FIRST HIT!" Sage cheered.
"COME BACK HERE!" Galateya yelled. "AND FACE US!"
"I'M FACING YOU RIGHT NOW!" I called back, rowing faster. "FROM A DISTANCE!"
“Halt!” A new voice joined in.
-=[Galateya Selene Belthys Frontenachii]=-
Galateya stared at the newcomer who had suddenly interjected herself between them and the lake shore, stretching and strutting about like she owned the place.
The newcomer was slightly taller than her with a sleek, digitigrade stance that marked her as some kind of pradavarian. But the resemblance to a prad ended there. Her body smelled, looked and felt almost entirely magitek.
The head was the most striking feature. An elongated, half-pill profile rendered in smooth black transparent hexaglass, featuring three elongated glowing eyes arranged in a triangle formation. Each eye was composed of thousands of tiny red hexagonal pixels that shifted and moved, painting her expressions. A digital mouth sat below the eyes, stretched in a determined smile.
Blue, bioluminescent accents traced the joints of her body like racing stripes. A hexagonal pattern similar to that of a hexasuit textured her entire form. Her legs ended in sharp, blue-tipped claws that dug into the sandy shore.
Her figure featured over-the-top-aggressive, pinup hour-glass curves. A magisteel tail swayed left and right, featuring a blue, glowing stripe on the bottom.
A black shirt that didn't even fully cover her crotch, featured a drawing of an anime girl shark holding onto a metal anchor with the words “I’M A SHARK-BAE!”.
“Oh my god, he got a shark-knight robot to slow us down!” Sage chortled.
“Who are you?” Galateya asked the metal girl.
“I’m Katherine,” Katherine introduced herself with a very slight slur. “Knight of the House of Clifford! You shall not pass!”
“But, like, what if we really wanna pass?” Sage demanded dramatically. "Could we go around?"
"No! For the right of passage to the lake, I challenge your dragon to honorable combat!" Katherine added. "For the glory of... of... Uhmm..." She waved a metal hand at the lake. "...my boat-fleeing liege!"
Galateya's Justice sense pinged.
Something about this newcomer felt familiar.
Very familiar. But… wrong. Like seeing a friend wearing someone else's face. Except she didn't have friends. Except for Sage. But then again the whole Sage situation was rapidly escalating away from friend towards “girlfriend” out of Galateya's control.
"Are you drunk?" Galateya asked the cyborg girl, slicing through her with her Truth sword.
"Nooooo," Katherine denied, then hiccupped. A small burp of static emerged from her digital mouth. "I had ONE beer. Maybe two. Possibly seven. Dax is very persuasive about alcohol consumption! He said it would help with my... my..." She made vague circular gestures. "... enjoyment of the great outdoors and…. Urm… feeling processing!"
Sage's freckles rearranged into laughing-crying emojis. "A drunk cyborg-shark-knight! T, we should keep her!”
“You can't just keep everyone you find,” Teya huffed.
“Watch me!” Sage giggled, sniffing Katherine.
Katherine for her part squared her shoulders, trying to look intimidating contrary to the slight drunken wobble. "I guard the lake against dastardly dragon interlopers such as yous! I have prepared... a challenge!"
“What… challenge?” Galateya asked.
“Uhhhh…” Katherine let out. It became obvious to Galateya's Truth sense that the drunk cyborg had in fact not prepared any challenges.
“Mud wrestling!” Dax yelled out, arriving at the beach with a backpack full of alcohol and a beer in his hand, panting. “I'll be the judge!”
Katherine blinked at Dax. “Uhm. Yes.” She gestured dramatically at the muddy shoreline behind her. "That! Trial by hand-combat! In the sacred arena of... of..." She squinted at the mud. "...squishy wet dirt!"
"You want us to mud wrestle you." Galateya stated flatly.
"YES!" Katherine nodded. "Ancient... local tradition! Very honorable! Winner gets to have more beers! Loser gets sat on, eats mud and feels bad!"
Sage burst out laughing. "Oh hell yes. Drunk cyborg mud wrestling. This day just keeps on giving. T, we HAVE to do this!"
"We absolutely do NOT have to do this," Galateya protested, watching Ash's boat get further away. "Look! He's escaping! We're losing time!"
"But it's MUD WRESTLING!" Sage insisted. "With a drunk robot girl! How often do you get this opportunity?!"
"Never, and I'd like to keep it that way!" The Taniwha crossed her arms, turning sunset-red-pink.
"Your mouth says no but the shade of yo scales says yes." Sage wiggled her eyebrows.
Katherine stumbled forward, getting uncomfortably close to Galateya. "You... you chickening out already, Galateya? Makshhym! Hold onto my shirt!”
She pulled off her t-shirt and threw it at Dax, who promptly stuffed it into his backpack with a giddy look.
Galateya's Justice sense flared harder. The way she said her name… it felt familiar. Too damn familiar.
Who in Slayer's name was this cyborg prad?
While she contemplated this mystery, the cyborg lunged for her with a growl, blue claws out.

