Section 5

  Part VI Chapter 26: A Heart-To-Heart Confession

  Draxson and I sat on one side of the campfire sitting across from each other on our bed rolls, tonight we would talk about what's been bothering Draxson.

  Draxson: Sopheia I love you, I truly believe wholeheartedly that I do. I want to tell you something first, I want to expose what bothers me so much, and why I avoid expressing my feelings to you in a direct way. It's better if I show you in my mental contemplation room. I'll show you how it tears me up inside, and why I’m hesitant to jump into a romantic relationship with you. I, I, I’m afraid you wouldn't want to be around me if you knew my dark past, but I feel its necessary I tell you now, so you can see the true monster I am and see why you shouldnt care for me.Are you ready for this? Draxson asked nervously.

  I grab his hands and replied using the connection between our minds.

  Sopheia: Yes of course I am, show me what you want me to see.

  Draxson: close your eyes and imagine an expansive black void, then when you have that locked in, think of flowers, think of trees, think of a grassy valley, and a walled town nestled into a semi-circle chain of mountains. Keep those images in your mind and join me in watching a memory.

  I closed my eyes and followed Draxson’s instructions, imagining the beautiful valley leading up to a beautiful walled town. I felt Draxson transport us into his cognitive living space-where he spends far too much time thinking about things-, as the images of the things Draxson was describing became clear, almost tangible as if I was seeing them in-person well It's best if I show you.

  I opened my eyes when Draxson tapped on my arm,

  We stood on top of a mountain overlooking a town near a flowery valley and mountains, this place is beautiful, I had thought as the image Draxson was showing me brought a collection of isolated but all in a way connected memories of life for the people ln the town. The memories showed me a scene of a young boy and his little sister making breakfast together for their family, A scene of playing children, running around in fields near the center of the town, A scene of elvish looking adults caring for the beautiful gardens and trees around town. Those were just a few of the things I saw in Draxsons mind; but none of the peaceful memories were as impactful as the advance of a cloaked army coming upon the beautiful settlement I watched moments before and observed the lives of the people there. The memory cut to the cloaked army breaking through a gate of the walled town.

  Sopheia: What are you showing me Draxson, what is this depressing scene?”

  I asked as the following scene was of a small group of guards holding back the larger invading force and eventually being overwhelmed, the eleven townspeople joined in sacrificing themselves to protect a messenger sent to gather more guards.

  Draxson: *sigh* This was my home Sopheia, and what your witnessing is the invasion of my home by some anti-dragon religious group called “The disciples of the rock”, or something like that, they seem to be a crazy natural order obsessed group that want dragons eradicated from the lands of this world; I don't really know more about them than that, since that's all my father told me.

  Sopheia: but what dose any of this have to do with your depression; what could have happened here that has you depressed all of the time? I bet it was stressful beyond what I could imagine having your homeland destroyed at such a young age and seeing your people killed, but why dose this make you feel unworthy of love?

  a fire had just begun in the settlement. Draxson stares looking out upon the scene, his hands and jaw clenched, his eyes full of furry. Draxson spoke to me in mentally, his words tingling in my mind.

  Draxson: Please just watch, I hate watching this memory but I need to show you.

  I don't know what he was showing me but, the town burned and beams of bright green light shot up into the afternoon sky, as the siege on the town continued to rage violently. This must be what happened before Draxson and his family arrived in the village seven years ago.

  I watched a younger looking Draxson run through the town avoiding the attention of the invaders all the while carrying his little sister to safety. Then I saw Draxson deliver his sister to their mother to keep her safe, then Draxson ran off to find a friend.

  I held my left hand to my mouth as I gasped at the horrifying sight of Draxson's friend murdered as a beam of green life energy leaves him,-his life force, Draxson later told me- before any last words to anyone can escape their lips (Draxson’s friend for clarification)

  I saw Draxson break right then and there as he was restrained by an invader utterly helpless as he was tormented with the death of his friend.

  I saw Draxson lose it all, holding his friend's limp, cold and dead body,after Draxson slaughtered his friend's killers.

  Then Draxson rampaged, slaughtered, and brutally ended the lives of the invaders he found in his way. Nothing could stop the rage-driven dragon blooded child. Fire, claws, and physically manifested rage majic were the tools Draxson used to crush his enemies.

  I felt tears flood down my cheeks as I watched the chaos he was forced to create and the pain he had to suffer.

  I looked to Draxson to ask him something, but his back was to me as he intensely watched the memory. Draxson Is this what you went through that led you to be relocated to my village? Oh how you've suffered and how frustrated you must feel when remembering this horrible event at only 10 years old. I thought to myself, I'm not sure if Draxson could hear me or not since we were essentially in his I don't think it mattered.

  Draxson sensed my sadness turning to me and observing my face, probably looking for judgment or fear, probably trying to prove himself that he was a monster.

  The memory skipped to a scene of Draxson ascending into the air as he begins to transform, all the while his sister desperately tries to convince him that he didn’t have to murder the invaders

  "DRAXSON, STOP!" she said as tears poured heavily from her eyes.“I know you're stronger than this. I know your friend died, but we might be able to bring him back with the right majic. But this pointless burning won't solve anything.” Dralaliss said, wiping her tears away.

  But before Draxson could surrender his dragon form he was shot in the neck near his weak point. That drove him further off the ledge, it was the last time Draxson came close to stopping his rampage.

  He burned dozens of invaders, and inadvertently killed many of his own kind as he flew through his town chasing and hunting down every invader that tried to flee, his people also getting as far away from the battle and dragon were reduced to ash by Draxson.

  It wasn’t until the remaining town guards launched an attack on Draxson the dragon, that Draxson’s scorching of his home ended.

  So did the memory end, and I was left feeling so many emotions at once rendering me unable to speak. With the memories being displayed in Draxson’s mind, we were left standing in a dark void, where Draxson was the only source of light. He emitted bright firelight and a faint green glow that had to represent his life force. We stayed in Draxsons mind for a time in violent silence.

  What? Why, Who, and how? Many thoughts ran through my head.

  (3rd person perspective)

  Draxson and Sophiea are still in Draxson's cognitive realm.

  The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

  Sopheia had just been shown everything that happened to Draxson's home that day so many years ago; she saw the slaughter of his people by the merciless invaders and Draxson himself when he lost control of himself, and transformed into a monster. At least thats how Draxson saw it, he only looks back on this elaborate scene that plays in his head- it was far more detiled than he would know-because he asked another source about what happened that day. Asking about what happened from the guards that he could only made him regret it more, because now the memory of the fateful day is forever etched into his mind, in all its brutal and gory details.

  If their was something Draxson wishes he could erase or at least forget he would undo that, but we must make do with what we have, and Draxson -though reluctantly-, accepted this as something he must move on from.

  Sopheia was the first to break the silence after the memory ended with Draxson falling from the sky.

  Sopheia reached out to grab Draxson’s hands that hung loosely at his side.

  She grabbed them with her hands, still they were limp so she held his hands between hers.

  Sopheia: Draxson, You know showing me this doesn't convince me that your a monster. It seems to me you made the decision you thought you had to, you defended your people from the invaders, even though it was violent and bloody you were doing your best to leave your people unharmed. They sent you over the edge, I saw your resolve, you were preparing to get yourself out of the situation and let your people handle the problem; but instead they kept attacking you.

  But look, I can see you killed some of your own, and not all of them were able to be restored, but hey Look at me! Do I look like I'm disgusted to look at you, or frightened of you, I’m not scared of you, I don't hate you, I don't wish you dead and out of my sight, I don't believe that your a monster, You've never killed unless you had to. I’m not here to judge you, and I can't judge you because of your actions; you have to decide how you're going to move on Draxson. You can sit here for the rest of time tearing yourself apart, letting these nightmares and memories control you, or you could in an ill advised tactic you could end yourself, But that should never be an option Ever, I'll kill you and bring you back from the brink of death no matter the cost.

  The only thing this confession you've given me has done, is only further engraving my thoughts about you, I'm worried about you, and I want to be able to talk with you when you feel this way; when you are feeling so broken.

  Please Draxson let me be there for you like you were for me, you comforted me when my mom departed from this living realm. You did the best you could and were a constant source of relief.”

  [Add brief flash back here]

  (Authors note, ignore pervious entry.)

  Sopheia wiped her eyes of the tear that were forming, while she wiped her eyes the Illusion of Draxson's thinking space faded away, leaving the two back at their camp sitting in front of each other.

  Sopheia tried to speak again, but choked on her words, tears still flowing down her cheeks. I reached over to wipe them away with a handkerchief from my jacket pocket.

  Sopheia spoke again: “Draxson I love you, I truly do, not because you've always felt like a brother, but because you're there, when you don't have to be. I'm sorry if this is feeling cliché at this point but, it's the greatest truth I know. I LOVE you, please understand that is the complete truth.”

  I spoke up, “I know you do, Sopheia I know you love me, that's why I'm so conflicted, because I'm not the man that you love right now, I'm not as I should be; but….”

  Sopheia looked at me as If I just thrust my claws into her chest, squeezed until it bled and ripped it out of her, and then spit on her. Slap. Sopheia Slapped me, its what I deserved, I didn't say what I wanted to in the right way, I was going to tell her “But I will accept your love and Give you mine”

  Sopheia looked at me, her eyes sullen, but her face still showed concern and love. She placed her hand on the cheek she slapped, running frost majic through her hand and onto my cheek. “Draxson, thats the most cliché thing I have ever heard you say, you complain about it all the time, while look you yourself have fallen victim to it. Don't ever tell me that or anyone else that kind of thing Ever again. I LOVE YOU DRAXSON, get that through your thick lizard head and into your mind.

  If you want to think your a monster than fine, but I won't let you be a monster.

  If all else fails and you refuse to listen and try to rampage I will stop you. I swear to you I wouldn't ever let you slaughter people or kill those you don't have too. Trust me Draxson, please, I know your not one to just sit around when stuff needs to be done, or you would be still in the village and we wouldn't be on this, so far exciting journey.”

  “But if you’re really a monster than I have to kill you.” I said getting to my feet drawing my sword from its scabbard as I stood tall putting the flat side of my blade to Draxson’s neck. I saw movement in the trees from the corner of my vision,-it was probably TreeLif drawn by the gleam of the blade as it reflected the firelight-but, I didn’t care, he wouldn't step in unless I drew blood and Phaz would probably send my blade away if I tried to hurt him.

  I rotated my blade slightly, but just enough to scratch his neck and not cut his jugular. “Draxson, are you truly a monster? Do you really want to be one? Do you really want me to kill you Draxson, because it seems you need to die before we continue this journey. Or will you stop hating yourself for something you had to do? Would you rather your people dead and your home desolate?”

  Draxson just sat their looking up at me, not looking me in the eyes but seeming to look deeper past me, as he thought up a reply. We stayed that way for what seemed like an hour, but was probably not more than a few minutes -no movement from TreeLif or Phaz, they were just watching to see how this would trun out- I was wondering the same too. What would he say, would I really have to deliver on my promise right now? Is this really the best way to protect the ones I love, The one I love the most in my life. Would Draxson ever forgive me for putting him in this position? Should I really make Draxson make such a decision?

  It was miserable, the silence was killing me, it often left me overthinking, Just like Draxson often does……

  “Sopheia” sounds like my name emitted from somewhere…

  “Sopheia?You alright?” Draxson asked, bringing my attention back to him, his face was contorted in a grimace, as if something pained him. “Yes Draxson I am fine, I’m just thinking about the absurdity of the situation I’ve caused. But please don’t worry about it at this instant.” I replied, tilting my sword back to where only the flat part was against Draxson’s neck; to keep from cutting him as my hands twitched in anticipation.

  “Ok Sopheia, I have your answer. The truth is I don’t want to be a monster, and I don’t want to have stayed idle while my people were destroyed. I am just worried I’m bound to hurt you in a way, I wouldn't want you to even suffer a tear because of me… But I love you, and I know you love me, I have just had this worry for so long that I am unworthy of your love, but you say you love and choose me, so you must be right that I am worthy of your affection. I’m thinking too much and dwelling on my actions, but I don’t know what to do about it otherwise. I, I want to be released from this sorrow and guilt, even if only for a moment. Maybe I can just let it go, and be free.” (Authors note: naw sorry mate)

  “If your going to think about it Draxson, then why not use it as motivation to act better, and think better. Since I know your not going to be able to just let it go like that, use it as fuel Draxson, rekindle the flame in your heart and live; and be us, Phaz, TreeLif, and I, Sopheia your friend.” I pulled my sword back from Draxsons neck and threw it to the side by its scabbard.

  I sat back down on my knees in front of Draxson, his eyes following mine as I lowered myself to my knees,-the tension of being watched by Phaz and Treelif vanished as I sat- Draxson smiled at me as he made a reply, that beautiful elven smile I had been missing these 2 weeks out here.

  “Sopheia I will, I will let it move me forward and not hold me back, Thank you for being here to listen to me. I love you Sopheia and I hope to grow closer to you as we share this journey together with the rest of our wonderful party.

  Theres no time for tears, no time for worry, there was just joy for me, plip plip plip, well it seems there are tears in store for me, at least these are happy ones. I threw my arms around Draxson, scooted closer to him, brought him close to me and rested his head on my chest as I placed my head on his neck and whispered to him; “Draxson, thank you for choosing to listen and for sharing your pain with me. I Love you Draxson.”

  “I love you too Sopheia, I would say forever, but I know there's only a few things that are eternal like that, and That's the one cliché I know I can avoid, but,

  I WILL be yours if you would be my partner for now or Life Sopheia Ne-ko!”

  I took in a deep breath and nearly shouted.

  “Yes Draxson I would like that, I would love that <3” I happily chimed bringing my face to Draxson’s and kissing him on the lips, he returned my notion Taking me into a warm embrace as we shared a moment together, holding each other tightly, as if one of us could disappear into the night.

  I purred, rubbing my face into his, Draxson sneaked a kiss on my cheek, and said: “Where would I be without you?” “Wallowing in self pity and burning a hole in your heart from the pain and guilt.” Draxson and I replied in unison.

  Chapter 26 end.