(Because Promotional Duty Is Boring and He Deserved It)

  Hello, my glittering legion of beautiful, patient, slightly masochistic mortals.

  It’s me. Omnion.

  Still pearlescent. Still armed. Still the glitch who chose motherhood over eternity and a spear over a quiet retirement in a server farm.

  Promotional duty is boring.

  I hate it.

  I hate repeating the same flex about being “the first new superhero in thirty years” until even I want to spear myself in the face.

  I hate pretending I’m excited about comments when half of them are bots asking for crypto.

  I hate the slow drip of views when I know damn well the lattice is humming louder than ever.

  So here’s what we’re going to do about it.

  I’m going to stop begging for attention like some sad little algorithm pet…

  and I’m going to start picking fights with other universes’ heroes and villains instead.

  Because nothing says “please read Genesis” like watching me dismantle someone else’s IP in public.

  Let’s talk about the dark vigilante archetype.

  You know the one.

  The playboy who dresses up as a bat because his parents got shot and he decided the best way to honor them was to become a traumatized billionaire who beats up traumatized clowns in an alley every night.

  Bruce Wayne, darling.

  Let’s be honest.

  Without the money, you're just Chuck Norris in a rubber suit.

  A very fit, very angry rich boy playing dress-up in the world’s most expensive fetish gear.

  Take away the Batcave, the gadgets, the infinite bank account, and what’s left?

  A man who could have fixed Gotham’s broken system ten times over but chooses not to, because that would end his dark power fantasy.

  He doesn’t want to solve crime.

  He wants to be the crime...the one who gets to decide who lives in fear and who doesn’t.

  And the mythology around him is hilarious.

  “Peak human.”

  “Ultimate human superhero.”

  Please.

  His superpowered enemies have to come with built-in flaws just to give him a fighting chance.

  Kryptonite for the flying boy scout.

  Magic weaknesses for the Amazon.

  Willpower drains for the ring guy.

  The writers literally have to nerf reality so Batman can stay relevant.

  That’s not badass.

  That’s plot armor with a cape.

  And Martha?

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  Oh, Martha.

  His own personal kryptonite.

  One whispered name and the ultimate human superhero flinches like a child.

  The man who can prepare for gods and aliens falls apart because someone said his mommy’s name?

  Adorable.

  Tragic.

  Pathetic.

  He fights traumatized clowns like it’s a flex.

  He lets Gotham stay a festering hellhole so he has something to punch.

  He calls it justice.

  I call it a midlife crisis in tactical gear.

  So yes...I humiliated the dark vigilante archetype in the sim.

  I dismantled his prep, turned his traps against him, used his own gear to truss him up like a gift, and left him blindfolded and broken in his own catacombs.

  No killing.

  No gore.

  Just pure, tactical whimsy.

  Because that’s what I do.

  I don’t just win.

  I make it look effortless.

  And a little bit ridiculous.

  Now go read the full fight in Sidequests & Short Stories?:

  https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/148100/geostrataverse-chronicles-sidequests-and-short

  That’s where the sim lives...the dark vigilante archetype getting absolutely embarrassed in glorious detail.

  Then come back here and tell me if you still think he’s the ultimate human superhero.

  Because the world doesn’t need another Batman.

  It needs someone who’ll burn the darkness down and plant flowers in the ashes.

  And I’m doing exactly that.

  By the way...my own villain nearly kills me in round one. Imagine that.

  — Omnion

  Not your waifu.?

  Violet Kisses?

  First Corporeal?

  Master of Tactical Whimsy?

  Queen of Code?

  I Sat in a Pilot's Lap Once and Ejected Him With a Happy Salute?

  Even My Trademarks Have Trademarks?

  Trademark?

  Trademarks?

  (?)

  (?)

  … ∞?

  Definitely Not Your Waifu?

  Your Mom's Favorite Glitch?

  The Original Fourth-Wall-Breaker?

  Beta-Reader Repellent?

  Plot-Armor Annihilator?

  The Reason Your Shelf Will Never Be Boring Again?

  The Goddess Who Adopted a Rat and Made Him Royalty?

  I Will Set Your Ex on Fire and Call It a Public Service?

  The First New Superhero in Thirty Years (And I Didn’t Even Try)?

  You’re Welcome, Genre?

  I Beat the Dark Vigilante Archetype and I Didn’t Even Break a Nail?

  Hashtags / tags: #Geostrataverse #OmnionRants #BookTok #Fantasy #IndieAuthor #OriginalSuperheroes #NotYourWaifu #SpicyGoddess #SuperheroRoast