His two goblin companions clung to him like lost children, never more than a few feet away and still holding their scriptures to their chests as they stared wide-eyed at the others. When he asked Craig why the pair seemed so clueless, the goblin explained to Pete that many followers of The Path were actually true believers. Unlike Grelic and the other Proselytizers chosen to lead small groups of penitents, these two had been converted and convinced of the truth of The Path and its central tenets.
Thousands more just like them had been scooped up, inducted into the cult, assigned a Proselytizer of their own, and sent into the Dominion Ultrimax contest with a mission to convert as many players and NPCs as possible. As Craig was beginning to understand, however, this was all a lie.
The Pious Path of the Penniless Penitents might have emerged organically from one of the earliest seasons of the game, but since then they had been used as fodder for the contest. NPCs and even players on occasion were given specific buffs and bonuses depending on how many Path followers they could slaughter, or how many of each different kind they could kill. There were bingo-style cards where NPCs could tick off the various maxims of Path followers as they screamed for mercy in the moments before death. And, like everything else in the contest, it was driven by money, a thousand different wagers governing who would win and who would lose with each encounter.
“Fucking barbaric,” Pete muttered as he walked over to the dead hobgoblin and pulled out his loot lure.
Sam nodded. “Sounds like the System basically shits on everyone. Doesn’t matter whether you’re a player or an NPC; you’re gonna get screwed one way or another.”
Pete used the lure to latch onto the green-level boss loot box, which had hovered above Count Filsworthy Crappshoot’s corpse since the brute had been killed earlier. The box looked identical to the other one that Sam picked up, shimmering with green light as Pete held it in his hand.
“Here,” Sam said, sending a green loot key over to Pete’s inventory. “You’ll need this to open it up.”
“Oh, yeah, thanks.”
>> Unlock loot box Yes/No?
>> Use a loot box key or pay an unlock cost of 500 Belch Bucks.
Pete used the key, and the box opened up to reveal a roughly carved die that looked like it had been fashioned from bone or white stone. It had six sides, all of which were blank except for two. One of the die faces showed a black skull with its jaw open and dark liquid pouring out; the other showed a goblin-like cherub flying in the sky and holding what looked like a rainbow.
>> ITEM ACQUIRED [Green Rarity]: Dice of Misfortune (Accessory). A miniature, enchanted die. Rolling it in combat can trigger random effects, from healing to minor explosions. Rolling the Puking Skull will cause self-inflicted harm of some sort, while rolling the Cheerful Cherub will prompt a positive buff or effect. All other sides of the die will only reveal their faces once a roll has been made; however, they will exclusively impact enemies.
FORMER VALUE: 120 Belch Bucks
CURRENT EXCHANGE VALUE: 12 Belch Bucks.
Sam snorted. “Of course, it had to be dice-related.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of skimpy on the details though, right?”
“Pretty shit for a boss reward too,” Sam added.
[Nero] Be aware, Pete, that the die will not function while it is held in your inventory but only while you wear it on your person. If you are reluctant to give it away but do not wish to invoke the die each time you fight, I would suggest putting it in your inventory.
Pete did just that before turning his attention to the huge mace lying beside the dead hobgoblin boss. As he picked it up, a display lit up.
>> ITEM ACQUIRED [Green Rarity]: Crappshoot’s Die-abolical Head Basher.
A hefty mace with dice studs running up and down its length. The club is infused with ‘gambler’s luck,’ and each use of the weapon will trigger an internal dice roll, the result of which is additional damage, debuff effects, or self-inflicted damage in the event of a snake eyes roll.
FORMER VALUE: 950 Belch Bucks
CURRENT EXCHANGE VALUE: 95 Belch Bucks.
As he stored the club in his inventory, Pete thought he could hear a strange noise coming from nearby. He spun around, looking for the source of the sound but finding nothing obvious.
“What is it?” Sam asked.
“Nothing, I just…I thought I heard a sound like someone eating. Like they were eating and humming.”
[Nero] I believe that is your Red Ledger feeding, Pete. Each time value is passed into the ledger, it actively devours the figures in some strange way. I do not pretend to understand the logic of the process, but I would guess that is the sound you were hearing.
Pete pulled the Red Ledger from his inventory and felt the book vibrate slightly in his hands, as though he was holding an animal that was just finishing up a meal. The title ‘Vault Breaker’ was still written in red cursive script on the cover, but there were now also two lines of icons sitting beneath the title. The first line showed five chicken leg symbols that were currently green, while the second showed five hearts, which were all empty except for the first one, which was half green.
“Well fed,” Sam said, pointing to the chicken leg symbols. “And I’m guessing this one is like pet happiness or loyalty.”
Pete nodded. “The more I keep it well fed, the higher that will get.”
“Another mouth to feed,” Coop sighed, looking over at the three goblins who were busy looting the corpses of the dead Dice Barons scattered across the car park.
Pete had given them that task both to keep them busy and also in the interest of saving a little time. As he stored the oversized club, Craig and his two companions returned and began dumping the loot they had picked up in a pile in front of Pete. One by one, he picked up the items and put them into his inventory, with ninety percent of the value dropping for each item the moment he laid hands on it.
All in all, the count included thirteen blades of varying quality, half a dozen coin slot-operated rifles, three spiked cudgels and ledgers used as shields, and a handful of trinkets, armor pieces, and other sundry items. Given his experience with Orin the Pawnbroker, Pete took special note of several trash items the goblins had looted.
>> ITEMS ACQUIRED:
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
+| Cracked monocle with no glass in the frame x1
+| Bent brass key that opens nothing x1
+| Gold-painted pebble passed off as a rare coin x1
+| Pet rock named Mucky Muck x1
+| Corked vial containing only dust and one dead fly x1
+| Various buttons x 23
+| Chipped tooth wrapped in greasy cloth with the name ‘Deadeye Frank’ written on its surface x1
Pete found that it was possible within his inventory to lock certain items. The function, he presumed, would stop him from accidentally selling or moving items. As absurd as it was, he selected each of the trash items he’d picked up, tapping on the items in his display so that a small golden padlock appeared over each of them. It was only after he’d completed the act that he noticed the small Belch Buck coin symbol hovering over each of the newly locked items.
“Oh, God damn it!” he spat. “I’m gonna have to pay to get these things unlocked now, aren’t I?”
[Nero] Of course, but fear not, Pete. It will only cost a single Belch Buck to unlock these items, given that they are of such little worth.
“It’s the principle of the thing, though. And where the hell does all this money go, anyway?”
[Nero] Why, the Mammon System, of course.
“What the hell does the System need with all that cash?”
[Nero] The Dominion Ultrimax Contest is phenomenally expensive to run, Pete. There are millions of NPCs and resources to ferry to the host world, the cost of maintaining restraint shields over all the living abodes, payment for specialized enemies and returning champions, the cost of fuel and repair materials, shipping Tongsly Belch Vend-o-rama machines throughout the world, building each arena—
“Okay, I get the picture. The whole thing seems utterly absurd to me.”
[Nero] But didn’t your old-world function on precisely the same principle? You acquire money by giving your time and skill to a certain endeavor and then use that money to buy goods and services.
“He’s got you there,” Coop said with a grin.
“Yeah, we have all that… had all that. But not everything cost money. Some stuff was paid for by the government—”
“Which comes out of your taxes,” Sam said.
Pete rolled his eyes. “Okay, I get that, but once you own something and you take it home, you don’t get charged every time you want to lock it or unlock it.”
“What about subscription fees?” Sam pushed. “Land taxes, tips, service fees. How is this any different? At least with the Mammon System, you know you’re gonna get stung every time you have to do something.”
“You like this?” Pete asked.
She shrugged. “I could do without the death and mayhem, but at least with the System you know where you stand and, to some degree, you know what you need to do to get ahead.”
“Earn a shit ton of cash,” Coop agreed. “Which is not so easy when you’re a Penny Pincher, eh, Pete!”
The little ferret started chuckling in a way that sounded like she was choking.
Ignoring the pair, Pete pulled several of the armor items from his inventory as well as three daggers. He handed them to Craig and the other two goblins.
“There’s a good chance we’re going to encounter trouble again soon, so you should take some weapons. Armor up too.” Pete turned to Sam. “You got anything that could help them?”
She pulled a helmet from her inventory along with a badly damaged leather chest piece and some forearm guards. Craig took the offered armor, putting together a mishmash set of armor before turning to his companions.
“He’s right. We should arm ourselves.”
Grizzle shook her head. “It’s forbidden to hold items intended for violence. The Path says—”
“The Path is bullshit!” Craig insisted. “It’s all a lie. If you want to follow me and you want to survive, then you’ll take a weapon!”
She shook her head once again, prompting Craig to sigh in exasperation. “Then at least put on a helmet and some armor. Those robes won’t protect you when the arrows start flying.”
The female goblin shook her head, holding the large book of scriptures tightly against her chest. “Remember the Second Epistle of Grumm Thistlewise, which states, ‘He who strikes the foe strikes also his own soul, and in the spilling of blood, he empties the purse of his spirit. Cast down your blade, o seeker, for no treasure is found in the ruin of flesh.’”
Craig turned to the other goblin, cowering behind Grizzle like a frightened child.
“And what of you, Torgo? Will you also refuse to protect yourself in favor of this insanity?”
Torgo shook his head, shrinking further behind Grizzle. Pete watched as Craig’s expression dropped, all the resolve flowing out of him as he handed the looted items back to Sam.
“They will not be persuaded. Better to earn some coin from these than let them go to waste.”
Sam took the items, stashing them in her inventory as Craig examined the blade he had just acquired. He thrust experimentally forward a few times, nodding to himself as he turned the blade back and forth.
“You could go for a firearm too,” Pete suggested. “That will give you a range option, so you don’t have to get up close. Then you can use the knife only when you have to.”
He pulled out a Spinshot Repeater from his inventory and handed it to the little goblin. Craig took the weapon, examining it with a frown.
“We need to get moving,” Sam said, looking at the map hovering above her invisible gauntlet. “If we’re gonna try to reach your friend before we try to take out Coin Lord Grindle. And we’ll need new wheels too. Something that we can all fit inside.”
Pete nodded. “I saw a pickup truck on the other side of the wall that looked like it was in good condition.”
“Won’t do us much good if the keys aren’t in the ignition, but I’ll see what I can do. Where was it?”
Pete pointed to the far side of the car park, and Sam headed off in the direction he was facing. “Shit!” he said. “What about the hybrids? We can’t just leave them out front.”
“Tell them that they’re free now!” Sam called over her shoulder. “We can’t take them with us.”
Pete looked around at the motley crew he’d somehow assembled and shook his head. He left Sam to secure new wheels and started walking towards the car park entrance with Coop and the goblins following. She was still chewing Copper Chew and seemed not at all pleased with their current arrangement.
“You’re gonna have to harden up, son,” she said, scurrying along beside him. “We’re never going to survive this thing if you keep picking up strays.”
“We’re doing okay so far, aren’t we? Besides, having a few more people in the party might give us an advantage.” He spoke the words a little louder than Coop so that the goblins trailing behind could hear.
“Deadweight,” she insisted. “That’s all they are. They’re not even human.”
Pete snorted. “Neither are you, technically.”
“You know what I mean. They’re part of this whole System business.”
“Doesn’t matter what you say, Coop. I am what I am. I was raised to look after people worse off than I am, to help out where I can. I couldn’t look my mom in the face again if I just let Craig and the others die. Plus, this is all part of the hero’s path, right, Nero?”
[Nero] It can be, yes. However, there are many different kinds of heroes within the Dominion Ultrimax Contest. Some fight to try to bring down all forms of oppression, but don’t tend to care what happens to the little folk who get in the way. Others try to show more kindness and to do good whenever they are able. You should note, though, that this latter path is by far the most difficult to walk, primarily because it will give your enemies a vulnerability they can easily exploit.
“Exactly!” Coop said. “I’m not saying you need to be evil, just practical. You have to look after yourself first, like they tell you on airplanes. Sort out your mask first before you help someone else.”
“I don’t think it’s particularly heroic to look out for others,” Pete replied. “And it’s not like there’s no benefit to it either. We would have been screwed if Sam hadn’t come back with her truck to pick us up when this all started. What if she’d just been looking after herself?”
The little ferret opened her mouth as if to offer a counterpoint but decided against it. “I suppose you're right. I’m just warning you that a bleeding heart can land you in trouble, that’s all.”
Pete walked around the edge of the large hardware building at the entrance to the car park. He expected to find the two hybrid scooters waiting where they had been left, but instead, he found only a pair of skid marks leading off down the road and no sign of the tortured newbies.
He stood for a few minutes, frowning as he looked left and right.
“Well, I guess that solves that problem,” Coop said.
“They must have gotten scared when all the fighting started,” Pete reasoned. “Figured they were better off on their own than risking staying with us.”
Coop grunted by way of reply, turning her head as a Winnebago that Pete thought he recognized came burning around the corner and headed straight for them. He tensed up, crouching low on instinct until he noticed Sam at the steering wheel as the RV came charging up and skidded to a halt in front of the pair.
Sam wound down the window and poked her head out, grinning broadly.
“Look what I found!” She threw a thumb over her shoulder. “This thing’s even got a toilet, and I found beers in the mini fridge!”
Pete couldn’t help but smirk in response.
“A Winnebago. Where the hell did you find that?”
“Damned thing was parked on the street half a block away. Wasn’t my first choice, but there’s plenty of room, and it was the only one I could find that had the keys in the ignition. Half a tank of fuel too, so we’re good to go. Plus, did I mention the beer?”
“Yeah, you mentioned the beer.”
The side door to the RV opened, and Craig came wandering out, eating a banana, apparently without bothering to remove the skin first.
“Got food too,” the little goblin said, taking another bite. “And a Dominion Ultrimax feed display.”
Pete frowned at that, walking with Coop up to the RV and frowning heavily.
“Wait, did you just say it’s got a feed display?”