The vehicle continued to shudder forward long after he’d jumped out, screaming and holding an axe above his head, and it consequently rammed into the side of a second hobgoblin vehicle, causing it to veer sharply to one side and throw its driver over the door and onto the street in a tangle of limbs and curses.
This blocked the path of the final two hobgoblins, delaying them so that the first of their number met Sam on his own, axe held high, screaming bloody murder as she promptly emptied both barrels of her shotgun into his chest and sent him tumbling backward, wearing a surprised expression as green blood gushed from the wounds on his chest.
Pete used the opportunity this provided, skirting around several parked cars and coming up to the rear of the second hobgoblin, who was just recovering from his tumble and was notably without his axe. The hobgoblin slammed a hand against the bonnet of his car and pushed himself upright. He saw Pete a second before Pete’s borrowed machete fell against the bonnet and slammed into the hobgoblin’s outstretched hand.
Blood gushed from the wound as the brute recoiled backward, the partially severed hand dangling from its wrist, eyes bulging. Pete pulled back the blade, finding it slick with blood as he ran forward, intent on finishing off the injured hobgoblin before the others could round on them.
He swung the blade at the brute’s neck, but the hobgoblin tripped and fell backward, kicking out and knocking the machete from Pete’s hand. The blade went flying into the air as Pete righted himself, narrowly avoiding the hobgoblin’s other foot as it flailed about, its back slamming against the road.
The machete clanged against the road and bounced back up into the air, narrowly missing hitting an approaching hobgoblin in the face and clattering harmlessly to the ground behind the figure. Caught between the wounded hobgoblin and the newcomer with axe raised, Pete triggered his Pauper’s Ward and prepared his Coin Toss ability.
He turned and faced the oncoming hobgoblin and tossed a coin at the figure’s eyes, hoping to repeat his attack against Grinko Maas. The shot went wide, hitting one of the brute’s ears and failing to stop the figure as he lumbered towards Pete and swung his axe down in a deadly arc.
A blur of white shot between them, and Coop appeared, triggering her own shield as she slammed into the axe wielder and bringing a sphere of swirling blue energy into being around her. The shield exploded as the axe collided with it, sending a portion of the damage inflicted directly back at the hobgoblin as Coop landed on the ground and circled around him.
Pete started running for his machete but was tripped as the fallen hobgoblin grabbed his foot with the mangled remains of his partially severed hand. Blood and gore splattered across Pete’s leg as he stumbled and rolled, trying to absorb the damage he anticipated as he hit the road.
It still hurt like hell, but rolling brought him up uninjured and allowed him to keep running.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: Tuck and Roll!
Congratulations! You have successfully executed a perfect tuck and roll, significantly mitigating damage you would have otherwise taken by using the blood of your enemy to lubricate the maneuver and ensure you live to fight another day. Who needs armor when you’ve got so much style?! But seriously…get some armor.
REWARD: 1 temporary point in Liquidity [Agility] – lasts 1 hr.
If he wasn’t stumbling forward and trying to stop from pitching onto the ground a second time, Pete might have been more excited about the bonus agility he’d just picked up. As it was, he managed to steady himself and scoop up his fallen weapon just in time to spin around and see the one-and-a-half-handed hobgoblin thundering towards him with fist and stump flying.
Pete ducked out of the way, narrowly avoiding getting his face pummeled by the first punch. He then brought his machete up in a sharp swing in an effort to catch the hobgoblin’s second strike and sliced neatly through the strip of skin that was holding the figure’s right hand to its wrist. The hand went flying into the air, and both the hobgoblin and Pete stared in wonder as the newly freed limb sailed high above, reaching a good twenty feet in height before it began falling.
Keen to use the opportunity, Pete drove the tip of his blade into the hobgoblin’s chest; or rather tried to. The blade was driven aside by a chunk of ill-fitting armor, sinking deep into the flesh under the brute’s armpit but missing the spot where Pete assumed its heart would be.
“Shit!” Pete blurted as the enraged hobgoblin looked down and reached for him with strangling hands.
A moment before the figure grabbed hold of Pete’s neck, the falling hand slapped against the hobgoblin’s face, causing it to miss Pete entirely and veer to one side. Pete ducked down and reached for the machete, grabbing hold of the slick handle and pulling it free, carving a jagged gash through the brute’s flesh as he did so.
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
Blood flowed from the wound in a green torrent, covering Pete’s arms and spilling all over his head, filling his world with hot, slick death that reeked like sewage. He coughed and spluttered, desperately trying not to inhale as he staggered away from the stumbling hobgoblin.
As the brute spun around, covered in blood and now thoroughly irate, it swung a meaty fist at Pete. The shield surrounding Pete burst, deflecting the force of the attack and staggering the hobgoblin. Pete spun around, the heavy machete sighing through the air and slicing off the brute’s second hand.
For a pregnant moment, they both stood staring at one another. The hobgoblin looked down at the two stumps where his hands had been and frowned in confusion as blood spurted from the wound onto his face. Pete stood frozen for a moment, still holding the machete and reflecting on how much his life had changed in the past few hours as the hulking hobgoblin slumped to his knees and fell on his face.
>> ACHIEVEMENT: Look Ma No Hands!
Congratulations! You have successfully deprived an enemy of both hands during the course of a fight. Some might call that excessive, while others might call it prudent. Either way, you definitely get points for style and brutality.
REWARD: 50 Belch Bucks
A loud gunshot drew Pete’s attention. He spun around to see Sam finishing off the first hobgoblin as another came charging toward her from the opposite side. He was about to yell out a warning when a flurry of coins filled the air around him, spilling off Coop as she tumbled backward from a hobgoblin’s axe blow.
“PETE!” the ferret cried out.
The shower of coins clattered to the ground, bouncing and rolling around Pete’s feet as he charged toward the enemy, hoping to capitalize on the figure’s temporary discombobulation. He grabbed the machete in a two-handed grip and tried to drive it through a gap in the hobgoblin’s armor, aiming for the chest once more but quickly realizing his error as the blade sank in and brought him closer to the brute.
The hobgoblin frowned, wrapping its arms around Pete and drawing him in closer as the machete blade sank further into the figure’s chest. Green blood poured from the wound, but it wasn’t the gushing that might indicate a direct strike through the heart.
Pete had other concerns, though, as the hobgoblin held him pressed against its chest, the blade still stuck in deep but apparently not hampering the brute in the slightest. A gust of putrid breath hit Pete like a slap in the face. It smelled of rotten cabbage and old eggs mixed with an unhealthy portion of ass and dog vomit.
The stench was a secondary concern, however, as the brute’s thick arms were crushing the life out of Pete, threatening to pulp his body if he didn’t act quickly. He used the Pauper’s Ward, hoping to push back against the hobgoblin’s grip and buy himself enough space to slip free.
The spell was triggered, and the shield popped into life and immediately burst beneath the terrible pressure of the hobgoblin’s arms. While the brute’s grip loosened momentarily, it wasn’t enough to let Pete get free, and within a moment, he was being crushed again, unsure whether he would last the ten-second cooldown he’d have to wait to try the shield again.
He couldn’t cry out for help, and the hobgoblin’s breath was like acid in his face, bringing tears to his eyes and making him gag. He strained his muscles against the overpowering force of the hobgoblin’s arms, dimly aware of Coop trying to help from nearby but unable to break the huge figure’s death grip.
>> HIDDEN CLASS ABILITY AUGMENT: Rapid Fire Coin Toss
While within melee range of an enemy, the Penny Pincher is able to fire a flurry of rapid coins at an enemy, with each strike causing +20% base damage with +2% critical strike chance. Each coin used in this fashion will cost two Belch Bucks, and the ability will cease once the caster is out of funds.
There was no time to think through what Pete had just seen. He could feel his bones about to break, and it was impossible to breathe. On the verge of passing out, Pete triggered the Rapid-Fire ability, finding that the option simply appeared automatically when he brought up the Coin Toss in his mind.
A burst of golden coin-like projectiles shot directly into the hobgoblin’s left eye, and in contrast to the relatively minor damage caused by the individual Coin Toss ability, this Rapid-Fire augment did significant damage. The barrage tore through the brute’s eye and ripped through the creature’s skull, sending out all seventy-three available Belch Bucks in under two seconds.
The ability stopped, and the hobgoblin staggered backward, a hole showing clearly through his skull where the coins had burst through. Still pressed against the creature’s heaving chest, Pete tried to free himself but ended up accompanying the hobgoblin as it fell hard against the ground on its back, meaty arms still wrapped around Pete’s body.
The fall knocked the wind out of Pete, but it also dislodged one of the hobgoblin’s arms, allowing him to slide out from the grip and roll onto the ground nearby. He wheezed for breath, looking around to see Coop nearby, looking on in concern.
>> KILL REWARD: 5 Belch Bucks
“You okay, boy?!” she asked.
Unable to speak, lungs burning and the memory of the hobgoblin’s horrific breath still so potent in his mind, Pete raised a hand and gave a shaky thumbs-up gesture.
“Shit!” Sam shouted from somewhere nearby. “Little help!”
Coop started running, leaping over Pete’s body and darting off towards Sam. Pete grunted, slipping in a pool of blood and gore as he struggled to his feet and tried to focus on the fight that was still continuing behind him.
Sam was running around the back of a parked car while a hobgoblin slammed its axe into the vehicle again and again, sending up sparks and causing the car to crumple in on itself with every stroke. A second hobgoblin was limping towards her from the opposite side, blood pouring from shotgun wounds on its chest as it hefted an axe and growled insults.
“My damned gun is jammed!” Sam shouted as Coop charged into the path of the wounded hobgoblin and popped her shield as it struck out at her.
The resulting swell of power drove the hobgoblin back a step, buying Sam a little time as she ducked away from a savage axe strike that shattered one of the car’s remaining windows and sent shards of glass and torn metal flying in all directions.
Pete was running before he knew what he was doing, firing coins at the hobgoblin that did little damage but kept it distracted as he charged towards it. He held the machete in his right hand, his jeans slick with blood, the fabric of his clothes clinging together as he ran.
He spent the coins he’d just earned rapidly, noting a new warning that appeared as he ran.
>> STATUS WARNING: YOUR ASS IS BROKE!
“Shit!” Pete blurted as he wiped hobgoblin blood from his face and forced himself to keep running. “Shit!”