My brain, drowning in pain, connects the dots. The adrenaline gives me one last shot, a ten-second reprieve before the system shutdown. I crawl toward Chris and grab him by the collar, ignoring the fire tearing through my shoulder.
“Move…” I growl.
I drag myself toward the wall, turning my back to the incoming horde. I don’t look at the Orcs anymore. I look at the gray stone.
WHISTLE. THUD.
A third arrow hits me in the back. It punches through my chest, right side. I feel the tip poking out the front. I cough up a mouthful of warm, metallic sludge.
[Critical Alert]: HP < 3%. Status: Agony.
I collapse forward. Into the wall. I don’t feel stone. I feel a sudden chill. I phase through the wall like it’s smoke, dragging Chris down with me. The noise of the battle cuts off instantly, replaced by absolute silence.
[System]: Hidden Safe Zone reached.
I’m lying on the cold floor, breathing ragged, blood bubbling on my lips. I turn my head painfully. The room is small and dark. But I’m not alone.
“Kim…”
She’s there, a few meters away. Motionless. The explosion didn’t vaporize her. It threw her here, through the illusory wall. But the price was terrible. Her tactical vest is fused to her skin. Her upper body is exposed, blackened. Her chest is a ruin of third-degree burns. Half her face is nothing but a crust of charred meat, her left eye swollen shut, maybe gone. Her beautiful hair is just a scorched tuft.
I stare at her health bar flickering weakly above her. She’s dying. I crawl toward her, leaving a red smear on the stone.
“Hang in there…” I whisper, my own vision dimming.
I place my hand on her unburned arm. Her skin is cold. Too cold. I look at my own health bar. 3%. Blood is leaking from my chest with every heartbeat, a slow, irregular rhythm announcing the engine is about to stall. I’m going to die here, in a magic closet, with a girl burned alive and my nephew in a coma.
PING!
The notification sound drills into my skull, clear and sharp, cutting through the buzz of my imminent death. A pastel pink window opens before my eyes, floating above Kim’s mutilated body.
[Private Message]:
[Aphrodite Love Coach] Subject: Indecent (but vital) proposal.
“You look like you need a miracle, sweetie. If you want to live and save your friends, become my Representative.”
I blink, my blurry vision struggling to focus. Aphrodite. The goddess who wanted me to kiss Kim for five thousand coins. I cough, spitting a trickle of blood. “Is this… is this a joke?” I wheeze into the void.
I type on the mental keyboard, my physical fingers too numb to move.
[Ben]: Is it true? Can you help me? At what cost? I’m a dying Garbage Man of Useless Rank with one foot in the grave. What do you gain? Why me?
The answer is immediate.
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: Your rank? I don’t care. I saw how you refused my five thousand coins. I saw how you turned a shovel into a weapon of mass destruction. You are… interesting. Very interesting. And I like playing with hard-to-get boys.
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: Here is the deal. If you accept, I provide you with the Starter Pack of Love (don’t judge the name).
A list of rewards appears, shining with a saving light.
[Contract Signing Rewards]:
1. Legendary Skill (Special Heal): [Hidden Name]. Capable of regenerating burned tissue, destroyed organs, and saving a life at death’s door.
Major Restriction: Only works on women. Unusable on yourself or a man.
2. Epic Skill (Debuff): [Hidden Name]. On success, the target suffers a random [Catastrophic Penalty].
Major Restriction: The System rates the performance in real-time.
3. Survival Pack:
- 3 Health Potions (Quality: Rare) - For you and the kid.
- 1 Bone Reconstruction Potion (Quality: Rare) - For the kid’s arm.
- 1 Growth Bonus: +1 Skill Point.
4. Heart of Steel Necklace (Epic Accessory):
- +30 Attack
- +32 Defense
- +30 Speed
- +500 HP
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I read the list, breathless. 500 HP? That’s more than Chris’s total. And this healing skill… it’s the only chance to save Kim’s face and life. I frown at the hidden descriptions. ‘Only works on women’? What is this sexist bullshit? And the other one, ‘The System rates the performance’? What does that mean? I have to aim well? Do a combo?
It’s fishy. Extremely fishy. But I look at my health bar flashing at 2%. I don’t have the luxury of reading the fine print. But I’m an adult. I know nothing is free. Especially not with Deities.
[Ben]: What’s the catch? If I sign, what do I become? Your slave? Your servant? Do I have to build you a temple?
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: Oh, don’t be so dramatic. A Representative is a partnership.
- Symbiosis: When you accomplish feats or gain power, I gain influence and Divine Power. It’s an investment.
- Freedom: I cannot order you to do anything. I cannot restrict your movements. The System forbids Deities from directly interfering or harming their representative.
I think. It sounds too good.
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: I just have a small personal condition. A house rule. The Whim Clause: If I feel like it, I can issue a Challenge or a Request, limited to once a day max. Don’t worry, it’s not automatic. I might forget you for weeks if I’m busy. It’s at my whim. But the day the notification drops… you cannot refuse. Note: Don’t worry, the reward will always be worth it.
I look at Kim, whose breathing is getting shallower. I look at Chris, broken against the wall. I look at my health bar still flashing at 2%. I have no choice. But I’m not signing a blank check.
[Ben]: I accept your challenges. On one condition: as long as it doesn’t physically or mentally harm me or those around me.
There’s a pause. A divine suspense.
[Aphrodite Love Coach]: … You drive a hard bargain, Garbage Man. Deal.
A golden window appears with a ‘Sign’ button. I don’t hesitate. I validate mentally.
[System]: Contract sealed.
[New Status]: Beno?t de Balzac is now the Representative of Lilith.
[Rewards Transferred…]
A gentle heat wraps around me, but the name flashes on my retina, chilling my blood despite the healing. “Lilith?” I whisper, eyes wide.
I have a moment of pure confusion. The ‘Aphrodite Love Coach’ handle was bait. A marketing scam. I didn’t sign with the flowery Greek goddess of love and cherubs. I signed with the Mother of Demons. The First Woman who told Adam to screw off. The Queen of Succubi.
I look up at the invisible ceiling with a nervous smile. “Well played. Really. You pose as a dating coach when you’re the Empress of Lust and Chaos. I literally just sold my soul to the boss of Hell because she found my style ‘interesting’. That explains everything.”
I shake my head. Too late to turn back. At least with Lilith, I know the rules are made to be broken. I crawl toward Kim. She’s not moving anymore. Her health bar flashes at 1%. I open my interface to activate this famous legendary skill and save the day. I expect a laying on of hands, some classic priest stuff. I read the description. I freeze.
[New Skill]: Sleeping Beauty’s Kiss (Rank: Legendary) Effect: Fully restores tissue, organs, and vitality. Cancels all negative statuses. Activation Condition: Direct Lip-to-lip contact (Kiss on the mouth). Intensity Mechanic: Healing effectiveness is proportional to physical investment.
- Stage 1 (The Peck): Light healing (Cuts, bruises).
- Stage 2 (The Firm Kiss): Moderate healing (Fractures, deep wounds).
- Stage 3 (The French Kiss): Absolute regeneration (Destroyed organs, imminent death).
Restriction: Female target only.
Note from Lilith: “You refused for 5,000 coins, so now you do it for free to save her life. I always win. Kisses.”
“Divine interference…” I whisper, appalled. “She played me. Like a fiddle.”
I look at Kim. Her face is half-burned, her chest is an open wound. A polite little kiss won’t cut it. She needs Stage 3. I have to literally French kiss my dying teammate so she doesn’t expire. “Sorry, Kim. It’s the script. And I have no choice.”
I take a deep breath, close my eyes so I don’t see the damage, lean in, and press my lips against hers. It’s the cold contact of death meeting despair. But the effect is immediate.
An intense pink light, almost blinding, explodes at the point of contact. A gentle heat invades Kim’s body. Before my eyes, the black crust of her burns crumbles and turns to ash, revealing new, pink, immaculate skin. Her hair regrows at crazy speed, regaining its black and blue tint. In ten seconds, she goes from a terminal burn victim to a shampoo model.
Kim takes a sudden, loud breath through her nose, like a diver surfacing, and opens her eyes. The first thing she sees is my face pressed against hers, my lips still on her mouth, and my tongue, which I retract in a panic, still halfway engaged. We are surrounded by a candy pink aura and little holographic hearts floating around us. She freezes. Her eyes widen in horror. I pull back hurriedly, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.
“It was… medical…” I wheeze, struggling for every breath. “Just an… emergency… procedure. Don’t… get any ideas.”
Kim puts a hand to her cheek. Smooth. Intact. She looks at her arms, her burned clothes revealing new skin. Then her gaze lands on me. The contrast is violent. I’m slumped on my side, unable to sit up because of the arrow skewering my chest. Another is planted in my shoulder, and a third in my thigh. I’m soaking in a puddle of my own blood. Above all, she sees my health bar floating above my head, flashing a red alarm:
[HP: 1% - Status: Critical].
“Ben…” she whispers, voice trembling, eyes shifting from horror to understanding. “What happened? You… you saved me?”
I have no strength to explain the contract with the demoness, nor the forced French kiss. The world starts to spin, the edges of my vision turning black. I’m a corpse that forgot to shut down. “Potion…” I gurgle, my voice wet.
My gaze blurs, desperately searching for the golden glow on the floor. They are there. The Rare Health Potions Lilith just sent me, lying in a pile on the cold stone, inches from my knee. I reach out a trembling arm. It’s the hardest move of my life. Muscles are jelly, nerves are fire. My fingers brush the cold crystal. I close my hand on it, trying to lift it. But it’s heavy. Terribly heavy. I barely lift it off the floor before my grip fails. The vial escapes me. It tips, ready to smash against the floor and spill my salvation into the dust.
Shit. This is the lamest ending in history. Dying of clumsiness with the cure four inches away. I close my eyes, waiting for the sound of shattering glass. It doesn’t come.
A hand, fast as lightning, grabs the vial millimeters from the ground. I open one eye. Kim. She’s kneeling next to me. She doesn’t ask questions. Her Pro-Gamer mode is back. Situation analysis: The Tank is down, the Healer is absent, it’s up to the DPS to handle the emergency.
She uncorks the vial with a sharp flick of her thumb, slides a hand behind my neck to lift my head with surprising gentleness, and brings the bottle to my lips.
“Drink, idiot,” she whispers, voice tight. “Don’t you dare die on me now.”
While the golden liquid flows into my throat, Kim doesn’t waste time. She puts her free hand on the arrow in my thigh. “Deep breath.”
RIIIIP. She yanks it out in one sharp motion. I scream, half-choking on the potion. “Dammit! Warning next time!”
She moves to the shoulder.
RIIIIIP. A new wave of white-hot pain. “Last one. It’s the worst.” She tips me slightly. I feel her hand on the wood of the arrow going through my chest. She pulls. The tip scrapes against a rib on the way out. The pain is absolute, blinding, making me see stars.
But the potion is already working. Intense heat radiates from my stomach. It’s like swallowing liquid sun. The sharp pain fades, replaced by a furious itching. Skin knits back together, muscles reconnect, bones fuse. I watch my health bar. It climbs like a Ferrari speedometer.
10%… 45%… 80%… 100%.
I take a deep breath, the first one without my lungs wheezing, and sit up. I’m brand new. I turn to thank Kim. She is kneeling in front of me. Her tactical vest melted, her top burned away. She is topless. Her skin is new, pink, and perfect thanks to my skill. And, well… she has nothing to cover herself. My gaze drops, by pure male reflex and because it’s right there, in front of me.
“Thank you,” I say, with total sincerity, while staring directly at her chest.
There is a silence for three seconds.