“Do you have any idea how reckless that was?” he shouted, standing squarely in front of Solara. “If he’d been eliminated, what then? That puts you and every other member on the clock! This isn’t simple insubordination—this is completely unbecoming of an officer!”
Solara stood with her arms crossed, utterly composed.
“Well,” she replied calmly, “it’s not my fault he’s a downright idiot. He signed the handbook. I’m just following the rules.”
Artimage threw his hands out. “What kind of handbook is that? There is no way it says you’re allowed to physically beat your commanding officer in public!”
Behind them, Keira dragged Lyra across the clearing by the back of her coat.
Lyra kicked and screamed, her knuckleduster knives digging into the dirt and carving two long lines behind her—but it didn’t slow Keira down in the slightest.
“Section four, article eight—ahhh—Keira, will you please stop!” Lyra shouted.
Keira glanced back, flashing the worst smile imaginable. “Oh boo. It’s Master Sergeant right now. And I’m getting bored.”
Artimage turned, stunned, to Caelan. “Why would you put something like that in there? You’ve got to be joking, right?”
Caelan laughed—and immediately winced. “We have a handbook?” he wheezed. “Oh shit—my ribs—please don’t make me laugh for like fifteen minutes.”
Solara stepped over, reached into the inside right pocket of Caelan’s jacket, and pulled out a small, battered booklet.
She gently bopped him on the head with it. “Right where it always is.”
Solara watched them go, lips twitching. “So cute you still keep that in there as well.”
Caelan groaned from the ground. “Shut up.”
She flipped through the pages like she’d done it a hundred times. “Ah. Here it is. Honestly, Lyra, impeccable as always.”
Still being dragged, Lyra snapped into a salute on reflex—
—and promptly smacked her own knuckles into her face.
She went limp, half-dazed, slurring, “Thank you, ma’am. I won’t let you down.”
Solara rolled her eyes. “Not even six months in and she’s already one of them.”
She turned back to the book, scanning. “Right… yes. Here we are.”
Solara handed the handbook to Artimage.
He read aloud, slowly.
“The Revolutionary Army hereby imposes a swear limit upon all members while on active duty. This encompasses the entirety of the command structure. Punishment for repeat offences will be at the discretion of officers. Side note: Due to the Captain and Master Sergeant’s repeated inability to show basic restraint, enforcement of this clause falls solely under the purview of the Lieutenant.”
Artimage stopped reading.
He looked up. “…Who wrote this?”
Solara straightened proudly. “Well, his name might be on it, but—”
Artimage pinched the bridge of his nose. “It was you. It was absolutely you.”
Behind him, Bella stepped in, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder as Solara muttered defensively under her breath.
“Don’t worry,” Bella said quietly. “You’ll understand everything tomorrow. Just… go with the flow for now.”
Artimage stared ahead, dead-eyed.
“…I am so confused right now.”
“FINE! I’LL GO NEXT!” Lyra shouted.
Keira immediately plopped her back onto her feet. “Finally. Right—can we keep this moving? Honestly thought this would be more fun, but, well… meh.”
“YOU OUTRIGHT ASKED FOR THIS!” Solara snapped.
Keira rolled her shoulders. “Well, someone had to go full Lieutenant on my plan and give me this weak-ass nonsense.”
Solara stepped forward. The noise around them dipped as the two women locked eyes, neither blinking.
“First,” Solara said calmly, “Master Sergeant—that’s your last one for the day.”
She leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper meant for Keira alone.
“Second… wish granted.”
Keira’s face lit up.
She tackled Solara without warning, wrapping her in a crushing hug. “I knew I kept you around for a reason, you sparkly?eyed beauty!”
Solara straightened with Keira still clinging to her. “Right. Change of plans, everyone. Let’s just get this over and done with—because at this point the only thing that’s gone to plan is that the city is still standing.”
She peeled Keira off and set her back on the ground. “You. Go set up. Everyone else—get ready. When I give the signal, you’re all starting the trial at the same time.”
Keira skipped away, immediately grabbing Caelan by the foot and starting to drag him toward the forest.
“What the hell are you doing?” Caelan shouted. “I can walk just fine!”
“Lieutenant,” Keira called back cheerfully, “I’m taking this one with me.”
Solara smiled and waved. “Thank you. Saves me a headache. You can have one extra for being so helpful.”
“Fuck!” Keira shouted.
Caelan gave up, letting himself be dragged through the dirt as Keira hauled him into the trees.
Solara clapped her hands once, sharp and clean.
“Right. Everyone, line up in your groups.”
Veyra immediately leaned toward her, hands on her hips. “Great plan, Lieutenant. Really inspired. Well—if you know all those dumb balloons you had Sergeant Takeshi waste his time making weren’t, y’know, the same colour.”
Hector shot her a look. “Sergeant, that’s not fair. This is the Lieutenant. She always has something planned.”
Solara turned to Veyra, head tilting slightly, genuine confusion on her face. “There are only what… thirty?five of them? It’s not exactly hard to remember who’s in which team.”
Veyra clasped her hands together and mock?nodded. “Mm?hm. Mm?hm. Not exactly hard, little Miss Perfect Lieutenant.”
Braen gently slapped Veyra on the back. “Is someone hungry again? Or do you want a nap?”
Veyra pouted. “Maybe—HEY! Stop talking to me like I’m Mynxi!”
Braen pointed calmly toward her rucksack. “Go check my bag.”
Veyra blinked, then wandered over. She unzipped it.
A second later, she squealed, yanking out a folded blanket. “Oh—Staff Sergeant, I love you so much! Ahhh, it’s been weeks!”
She immediately dropped to the grass and started setting up a picnic.
Solara watched the recruits line up, one eyebrow rising as she clocked the scene unfolding to her left. She leaned slightly toward Braen and murmured, “Staff Sergeant… I don’t suppose—”
Braen beamed. “Yes, my little Lieutenant. I brought the tea.”
Solara’s eyes lit up.
She spun back to the recruits, voice sharp and clean. “MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! Anyone without a balloon in the next thirty seconds will not survive what comes after!”
Lyra screamed instantly. “She’s not kidding! We’re all going to die! Every man for themselves!”
Solara’s hand began to gently wrap around the hilt of her sword.
Jett shrieked while sprinting for the balloons. “SOMEONE SAVE ME—NOT AGAIN!”
The clearing exploded into panic as recruits scattered, shoving and scrambling for balloons before bolting toward the arena.
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
Solara glanced at Lyra. “Where did that come from?”
Lyra laughed, rubbing the back of her head. “Well, um… I know Master Sergeant Keira would be directly waiting on me, soooo—”
Solara nodded approvingly. “Nice throw. Everyone else slipping in—not too bad.”
She didn’t have time to react before a sleeping bag rolled past her feet.
Before Lyra could even blink, the sleeping bag snapped open—an arm shot out, grabbed her by the waist—zip. Shut again.
The sleeping bag rolled off at speed, a balloon bobbing wildly from the tied end.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME OUT!” Lyra shouted from inside.
Katie’s voice echoed cheerfully as she barrel?rolled away. “Don’t you dare leave me with those idiots again! Let’s go!”
The sleeping bag skidded sideways and slammed into a fallen tree with a dull thump.
Jett, Corwin, and a third recruit were already crouched behind it, half?hidden among roots and snapped branches.
Corwin peeked over the log, blinked, then smiled politely. “Oh. Hello, Lyra. Katie. Thank you again for agreeing to team up with us.”
Katie wriggled upright inside the bag, arms crossed. “It’s not like I had a choice. That woman dragged me over. Honestly—what a group of high?maintenance people.”
Jett was lying on his side, curled protectively around his balloon like his life depended on it. He flashed them a nervous smile. “Now, now, ladies—no need to panic. I don’t know if you know this about me, but, well… let’s just say I’m the future co?captain of this group. So don’t stress. I’ll lead us to certain victory.”
Lyra squinted at him. “Are you… crying?”
Jett immediately scrubbed at his eyes. “No! Why would I be crying?”
The third recruit turned to look at them, jaw tight. “How did I end up with a bunch of children?” He exhaled sharply. “Right. Listen up. On my mark, we move. Fast and direct. She won’t be expecting it.”
Lyra opened her mouth. “Wait—that won’t—”
“I’ve got your back,” Jett said quickly, nodding far too hard.
The man raised his assault rifle, peering over the tree line. “No back chat. Go!”
He broke cover.
A shot rang out.
His balloon popped instantly.
He stopped, stared at the limp string in his hand, then sighed. “You know what? Screw this. I’m joining Aurex.” He turned and started walking away. “Thanks for the backup out there, assholes.”
“Hey,” Jett protested weakly, “they aren’t assholes.”
Corwin waved cheerfully after the retreating man. “Thank you for all your help! We appreciate you giving us your all!”
Lyra’s eyes went wide. “No. No, no, no. Is this how she feels all the time?” She clasped her hands together, praying frantically, “Solara, ma’am, my respect and admiration for you grows daily. I will forever be your pupil.”
Katie stared at her flatly. “Great. So you’re duds as well, then. Wake me up when one of you comes up with a plan.”
Jett cleared his throat loudly.
“No need to worry. I’ve got this. No one has ever been defeated with me on their side. Your odds just went up beyond what you could possibly imagine.”
Another shot cracked through the forest, followed by a loud pop.
“PLEASE,” Jett screamed, hugging the balloon tighter, “SHE’S GOING TO KILL ME.”
Lyra leaned closer to Corwin, raising her voice over the distant chaos. “So… is your friend broken, or what?”
“Hey!” Jett protested.
Corwin smiled calmly. “No. He’s been like this since we were young.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow. “Since you were young?”
“Yes,” Corwin said politely. “We went to school together, ma’am.”
Lyra paused, then shrugged. “Huh. So it’s not just them.” She glanced back toward the arena. “Wait—did yous wake up together?”
“Well, obviously not now,” Jett snapped, scrambling upright. “As future Captain, here’s what we’re going to do—”
“Like hell,” Lyra cut in. “I’ve actually worked alongside them. I’m taking charge.”
Corwin sighed. “Please. Can we stop arguing? We’re meant to be getting along right now.”
Katie finished zipping the sleeping bag back up around herself. “You’re all too loud. Five minutes won’t hurt.”
The noise thinned near the centre of the clearing.
Keira stood perfectly still inside a rough circle scratched into the dirt around her boots. Empty casings lay scattered at her feet, smoke drifting lazily from the barrel of her rifle as she finished another shot.
Somewhere out in the forest, a distant voice swore loudly. “Damn it.”
Behind her, Caelan lay flat on his back in the grass, hands folded behind his head, staring up at the strange light filtering through the canopy.
“Y’know,” he said casually, “it’s actually really weird how the light works here. There isn’t even a star or anything to focus it. So technically the rays shouldn’t—”
Keira glanced back at him. “So wait. Those Skyrim mods you keep talking about—on PC they’re just… free? That’s bullshit, bro. Absolute tease.”
“Oh yeah,” Caelan replied. “Utterly tragic. In 2022, you only had a 360. Honestly, sis—just wait until we get back to Earth. I’m building us the most overkill setup imaginable.”
Keira lifted the rifle with one hand and fired without breaking eye contact.
A balloon popped somewhere off to the side.
“Don’t you dare talk shit about my baby,” she said evenly, “or I’ll kick your ass.”
Caelan frowned. “Eh? I think you’ll find I was playing that bad boy while you were still in nappies. Thing was a beast, mate. The golden days.”
Keira snorted. “Damn. Showing your age there, big brother.”
“Says my—what—thirty?something?year?old sister trapped in a fourteen?year?old’s body.”
Keira laughed. “We’ve been over this. If the Goddess had brought me here a few years later, I’d be crushing army hearts without firing a single shot.”
Caelan chuckled. “Yeah. Because you still wouldn’t scare off every man ever.”
Keira smiled. “Ears, big brother.”
“What?”
She fired.
The shot cracked past Caelan’s head.
He yelped, clapping a hand to his ear. “Motherf—! Oh. By the way. Did you see it?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Keira waved him off. “You’re just here so I’ve got someone to chat to. Leave this shit to me.”
She grinned, wide and unashamed, then slowly drew in a breath.
Somewhere in the trees, a voice shouted, “NOW!”
Keira exhaled.
Time slowed.
Two. Three. Five. Six. Seven.
A simultaneous attack. One full squad.
Honestly, she thought. I expected it to be Lyra’s group. Better make sure she knows she’s not just walking through this one.
Keira’s focus locked forward. She swapped magazines in one smooth motion, chambered a round, and whispered,
“One Shot — Full Mag.”
She fired.
The rifle barked in rapid succession.
Keira didn’t move an inch.
Only her arms.
The final shot snapped home, and the rifle came to rest at her side.
The sudden stop kicked a wave of air across the clearing, grass flattening slightly as the echoes died away.
Caelan rolled his head slightly to look at her. “Sis… how many are left?” He paused. “Three squads? How come?”
He hummed to himself. “Huh. The plan’s gone to shit quicker than I thought. Let the other two pass. Save the rest of your ammo for Lyra’s squad—but make it convincing.”
Keira smirked. “You’re really making her work for it, huh?” She tilted her head. “Oh—know what else I miss? Doom scrolling.”
Caelan snorted. “Shit, aye. That’s a good one.”
Keira fired again.
Another balloon popped.
“Or just sitting by the pool,” she added. “Hated it while I was there. Miss it now I’m gone.”
Caelan laughed. “Oh yeah—good news. You know how I went to that council meeting yesterday? Did my usual ‘ahh, we’re all going to die’ bit.”
Keira glanced back. “And?”
“They’re building us a pool in the northern town.”
Keira barked out a laugh. “No fucking way. At least we get a pool out of all this mess. God bless that idiot who kept her back—you beautiful bastard, wherever you are.”
“WHY DOES SHE KEEP AIMING FOR ME?!”
Jett screamed from behind a tree, clutching his balloon as if it might crawl inside his chest for safety.
Lyra stared at him, eyebrow raised. “Nothing even came our direction. What are you talking about?”
Five gunshots cracked in rapid succession.
Five balloons popped.
Jett shrieked and launched himself at the nearest object of comfort, clinging to Katie’s sleeping bag. “PLEASE LET ME IN! PLEASE SAVE ME! I’M TOO BRILLIANT TO DIE!”
He yanked the zip down just enough to meet Katie’s unimpressed eyes.
She sighed.
A moment later, muffled gagging noises followed.
Corwin looked past Lyra and froze.
Jett was now dangling upside down from a tree, bound in multiple shimmering threads, balloon string still wrapped around his wrist.
Corwin rushed over, fumbling at the bindings. “Look what you’ve done now, Jett. This is all your fault.” He glanced apologetically at Lyra. “Ma’am, I’m truly sorry for my friend. He never means anything by it.”
Katie stretched as she finished folding her sleeping bag. “Oh, him? Yeah, don’t worry about him. I’ve dealt with people like that before.” She looked to Lyra. “You know these people better than any of us. Any ideas?”
Lyra stayed crouched behind the fallen tree. “Honestly? Not really. I’ve never actually seen them fight properly before. Wasn’t allowed to tag along on official business. So this is a first for me, too.”
Keira’s voice rang out across the forest.
“LYRA! JUST YOUR SQUAD NOW! CAN’T WAIT TO TASTE THOSE BEAUTIFUL TEARS OF YOURS!”
Katie winced. “Wow. She’s really got it out for you.”
Corwin finally managed to clear the threads from Jett’s face.
“See!” Jett shouted. “I knew it! She’s picking on us! We are totally screwed! She must know I’m a threat to the hierarchy—that’s what it is!”
“Jett,” Corwin said patiently, “can you please stop trying to annoy them?”
“I don’t annoy—I invigorate!” Jett said desperately. “Isn’t that right, ladies? You’ll follow me through hell and back, right? …Right?”
No one answered.
Katie noticed Lyra pressing the edge of her nail into her thumb. She tilted her head. “So. What are we doing then?”
Lyra straightened. “Right. Everyone, listen up. I was hoping I wouldn’t need to use this today, but—damn it.” She sighed. “Sorry, Keira. I’ll tell you all her greatest weaknesses. But we only get one shot at this.”
Corwin nodded immediately. “We’ve got your back, ma’am.”
“I’m out,” Jett said weakly.
Katie stood and gently nudged Jett’s dangling body. He began to spin slowly.
“This should be interesting,” she said. “Go on. Let’s hear it.”
“What the hell are four doing?” Keira shouted from the centre of the clearing. “You’ve had ten minutes—come on! I’ve not got all day!”
She glanced down at Caelan and frowned. “Oh—do you know what we need to get Mynxi?”
Caelan was still flat on his back, hands behind his head. “What’s that then?”
“Beanbag.”
Caelan sat up immediately. “Oh, now we’re talking, sis. Not had one of those since I was a kid.”
“I miss the gold girl,” Keira said absently. “Did I tell you I had one for eight years? Honestly, best thing ever—oh. Crap.”
Caelan squinted at her. “What is it?”
Keira sighed. “Bastard probably burned in the house fire. Shit. Well—fuck it. You owe me at least twenty birthdays and Christmases when we get back, so—”
“Motherfucker,” Caelan cut in. “Do you think I was rich? I’ll buy you a multipack of crisps. One pack for each holiday.”
“Chips,” Keira corrected.
“Oh, motherfucker, we’ve been over this—”
“Shh,” Keira said suddenly. “I hear something.”
Caelan squinted forward. “What the fuck is that?”
Keira’s eyes widened. “I don’t even know where to start.”
Corwin burst from the treeline at a sprint, hauling Jett upside down by the ankles, threads still binding him tight.
“I’m sorry, Jett!” Corwin shouted. “I’m so sorry!”
Jett screamed, face red, unable to move. “WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT ME TO DIE?! THIS ISN’T FAIR! WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!”
Keira stared. Then blinked. Then looked at Caelan.
“…Are you crying?”
Caelan wiped at his eye. “It’s just—so dumb. And beautiful. I love it so much.”
Keira lifted her rifle. “Well, don’t expect us to do that anytime soon.”
“No, no, wait,” Caelan said quickly. “Let them get closer. See what they’re planning.”
Keira held her aim. “Let me just get one up on the Lieutenant. Bitch has been getting too many wins on me lately.”
“Fair.”
Keira fired.
The shot screamed through the forest—then veered at the last moment, whipping past Jett’s back and balloon by a hair.
Caelan burst out laughing. “You were saying?”
Corwin skidded to a halt. “Ma’am—uh—is this close enough?”
Katie appeared from behind him, calm as ever. “I’ll take it from here.”
She tugged sharply on the threads.
In one smooth motion, she was yanked skyward, launching above the treeline as branches tore free behind her, snapping and crashing down—each with one of Keira’s balloons tied to it.
Keira’s grin spread wide. “No idea where you’re hiding, Lyra, but whatever this is—it’s got your name all over it. Let’s take this down to one-on-one, shall we?”
She lined up Katie’s balloon in her sights.
“WHAT?!”
Lyra’s voice echoed across the clearing. “I SAW CAELAN AND ELYRIA KISSING!”
Keira’s head snapped around, eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas morning.
In that instant, Katie surged forward.
The threads yanked hard.
Branches ripped free and came crashing through the trees—balloons attached—detonating all around the circle.
Keira and Caelan froze.
Caelan finally shouted, “TALK SHITE, LYRA! DON’T BE FUCKING SAYING THAT SHIT!”
Keira lowered her rifle slowly. “…Did I just get played?”
Lyra stepped out from the trees, all smiles. “Sorry it took so long. We had a bit of—”
“FUCK!” Keira screamed at the top of her lungs.
From across the clearing, Solara’s voice rang out, sharp and victorious.
“THAT’S THREE THOUSAND, NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY-TWO, LANGSTON!”