Alexander was not one to normally pick up on subtle social cues. This was a weakness he freely admitted. Today, however, even he could feel the electricity in the air. As he arrived at work he saw a group of five crew members talking loudly near the security checkpoint. The security guard and Susan were standing stiffly and seemed to be frustrated with the three crew members. As he walked forward he could hear the accusation in their voices. “What if there is a family emergency! How will they reach me?”

  “Yeah. My gran says she saw a spider the size of our dog the other day in the park.”

  Susan seemed to look down her nose at the group despite being a good deal shorter than all of them. “You can give out the buildings phone number to your friends and family, just as people have been doing for the last hundred years.”

  Their rebuttal to this was weak. Something about their family not being able to remember saving a number like that in their phones. Susan saw Alexander and waved him forward. “Let me discuss a long term solution with HR and he will get back to you.”

  “We are waiting right here until you tell us what's gunna happen!” A tall man said looking down on Susan like his height bespoke his authority. The group nodded to signal their mutually agreed rebellion.

  “Very well. Alexander, please attend me.” She said walking towards her office. Alexander clocked in as it was against company policy to work without being on the clock—then he lightly jogged to catch up with her. She sighed then turned her head to share with him the issue. “Corporate sent out a notification that our crew members will no longer have access to their cell phones at work. This has obviously made them less than happy.”

  “We have every intention of following this rule correct?”

  “Of course, it has long been known that phones distract people from their work leading to misrouting packages and accidents. The problem is the phone addiction that is pretty much evident in every human being with a smartphone. I am afraid this may push them into a full strike, they were already close enough to pulling that trigger.”

  “So what do you expect HR to do?”

  “Convince them to get back to work. Nobody is going to be happy about this but we can’t let it turn into a strike yet.”

  ^

  New quest!

  Crack the whip:

  Disgruntled employees are making a scene and refusing to start working.

  Objective: Get the employees back to work

  Quest rewards:

  -250 xp

  -2 silver

  “How is the employee search going?” She inquired.

  “I have put out several online ads that have turned a half dozen potential applicants.”

  “Good but not good enough, I want to see at least a few new employees you find personally as well.”

  “I will work hard to find them. One question concerning the cell phone policy. Is this to go into effect immediately?”

  “It was sent this morning and they simply said ‘we are adopting a new policy’ so it did not specify.” She looked at Alexander and tilted her head, “I suppose we could say effective tomorrow so we can give the appearance of relenting a bit. Do you think you can handle this situation?”

  “I will have them back to work shortly for certain, then we will see how long we can delay them until we can find less entitled employees.”

  “Make it so.” She replied.

  He nodded and turned around to confront the group, gently, using his new-found charisma.

  As he approached he recognized one of HR’s most loyal complainers— whether it was via email, employee feedback, and of course face-to-face, Ralph would be there to complain about smoke breaks, bathroom breaks, lunch breaks, unpaid time off he should be paid for, etc. He was likely the ringleader of the group so Alexander opened his arms wide and mimicked the smile that had come all too easily to him the previous day.

  “Ralph, it is a pleasure to see you this day. I have been given an update on the cell phone matter. It doesn’t go into effect until tomorrow. So how about we put this whole conversation on pause and update you on the policy in detail at that time?”

  “Alexander, you should be ashamed of yourself for what you did to Sharon you narc! She was the only one who listened to us when we had problems.”

  It took Alexander a second to think of who he was talking about. Ah, Karen. He should really have tried harder to remember her name, very uncharacteristic for him… but she was fired already so it really didn’t matter now.

  “Sharon commiserated with you did she? Was she able to fix any of your issues?” Alexander innocently inquired.

  “Well… that doesn’t really matter. She understood us. We didn’t feel like we were talking to a corporate robot.”

  It was more likely that she was fanning the flames of drama for her own amusement than commiserating he thought to himself.

  “A corporate robot that gets issues resolved Ralph. Who fixes your schedule when you forget to ask for time off? Who helps you get information you need for your 401k and insurance benefits? We take great pains in HR to make sure crew members know about their amazing benefits.”

  “Today we are talking about our phones! They are basically a part of our bodies now!” The four around him nodded and vocalized their agreement.

  Alexanders charisma didn’t seem to be working as well today. A pity as he was loath to use his temporary solution.

  “Well Ralph and friends. I really do want to help you with this cell phone issue today, but I need to have more time to look into the details of the policy and file any objections you may have once we have published the policy for you to read. So I have a suggestion, you go to work today and not worry about it as it has not affected you yet.”

  Alexander watched as their eyes glazed over for a second before refocusing. Ralph looked up at Alexander and nodded once. “That sounds reasonable. I guess we will talk about it tomorrow.” He turned to look at the others in his group and waved them on. Then they proceeded through the security checkpoint cell phones in hand.

  Being honest with himself Alexander felt this was a failure. Not only was the new spell suggestion a temporary effect, it undermined his true ability to lead. Susan might be satisfied with the results for the day but as for the future… he felt the pressure to find new employees growing quickly.

  ^

  Quest complete!

  Crack the whip:

  Disgruntled employees are making a scene and refusing to start working.

  Objective: Get the employees back to work

  Quest rewards:

  -250 xp

  -2 silver

  Alexander arrived home that afternoon and he was finally able to relax as he moved into his Thursday schedule. Looking at his meal plan he began preparing a vegetable heavy dish. He would usually do this three times a week. He decided upon the Grilled Avocado Salad, which was one of his favorites in the rotation. He heated up a little spiced oil on his flat cast iron and put a halved avocado and thick slices of tomato on it for a few minutes. As that was cooking he prepared a bed of romaine lettuce and topped it with a Chipotle-Lime Vinaigrette. Once the avocado and tomato were cooked to a buttery texture he diced them and mixed in the salad. Fresh ground salt followed.

  ^

  You have gained a level in Cooking!

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

  Cooking level 5:

  You have 3 points to distribute to your Cooking skill tree.

  Tier 2 skills now unlocked in your cooking skill tree.

  Bingo! Alexander had been experimenting with cooking lately, challenging his skills with higher level dishes. Now that he had hit level 5 it seemed he was awarded two bonus points. The first tier of options were basic modifications to skills such as cooking speed, flavor, and nutritional values.

  Being pragmatic Alexander had put all of his points into cooking speed. Not only would it make his routines more efficient, he also could test to see if the effect in the system was compounded or not. Each point of speed had been a five point increase, but when he checked it was as he had hoped. He was delighted to see a 21.5% increase in speed after four points were placed in the speed category. He was planning to put a few points in nutrition this time but he stopped to examine the new Tier 2 skills that had been unlocked.

  ^

  Cooking Alchemy

  Preservation Magic

  Culinary Transmutation

  Examining each option it appeared cooking alchemy had some potential healing properties. Maybe he could use it as a recovery dish after an intensive workout. Preservation magic was obvious in that it kept things fresh and warm, but he had prestidigitation for that. Culinary Transmutation was the most interesting from a scientific point of view, it could change the flavors of a dish or take similar ingredients and swap them. Which would be handy if he mistakenly put a Macaroni pasta in a Rigatoni dish. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing.

  Alexander decided he would wait until his next meal prep day to decide. As for the rest of his skills such as first aid and herbalism he planned to wait until the skill was necessary before distribution, to help him see the merits of what each option was.

  As he took his seat and opened a napkin in his lap, he stabbed some of the salad, picking a nice piece of avocado. When he placed the bite in his mouth the chilled lettuce helped him isolate the taste of the warm grilled avocado. Delicious. He found that most people who did not enjoy salads, simply had not put in the effort required to make a quality dish. After finishing dinner and cleaning the kitchen he pulled up his schedule.

  Thursdays were trash days. Not that the apartment building had a designated trash day. Everyone dumped their trash at one of the dumpsters placed about the complex, but it was his trash day. So Alexander rounded up the small trash cans in his bathroom and bedroom next to his desk. He threw them in his 13 gallon kitchen bag and marched it down the apartment steps and out to the dumpster around the side of the building. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary on the fine cool evening. That was until he was about 20 yards from the dumpster. Alexander was by no means afraid of the dark, but something in the atmosphere caused his instincts to awaken. He felt a wave of goosebumps across his arms. He looked around and moved towards the bricked in walls while slowing his steps.

  A large metallic bang caused him to jump and he watched as something slowly crawled out of the dumpsters side sliding door. What at a first glance looked to be a large fat dog turned out to be an oversized rat. It jumped down awkwardly off of the thin metal frame and shuffled toward Alexander, letting out a spitting hiss. Its beady eyes had a slight red glow to them and the matted coarse grey hair made for a menacing appearance.

  Alexander uncharacteristically, was having difficulty identifying the species of the rat. It was easily three times larger than any nutria he had seen.

  ^

  New quest!

  Pest Control:

  A Hell Rat has taken up residence in your dumpster

  Objective: Slay or subdue the Hell Rat

  Quest rewards:

  -350 xp

  -3 silver

  -Inferior Magic Stone, unattributed

  Well, a Hell Rat seemed like an ominous name. He had some rat poison in his cabinets under his sink. Generally apartments are known to be unable to keep up with a rat population. However, he doubted it would be effective against a creature with this much body mass. It hissed again as it shuffled towards him.

  “You are quite aggressive for a rat.”

  Alexander thought about the few times he swatted one with a broom and swept it into a bucket. He noticed the dumpsters top was left open and decided that old problems do not need new solutions.

  “Floating disc.” Alexander said as he focused under the rat and mentally commanded the disc to move upwards sharply and at a slight angle. This resulted in the rat flipping up in the air as it squealed. It started to spin a backflip before its head clipped the side of the dumpster tumbling in. Alexander ran forwards and closed the first side panel quickly before running to the other side. As he cleared the other side and neared the other side panel he could see the rat had already righted itself and was lunging for the opening. Alexander brought his garbage bag around and smashed it into the rats face causing it to topple backwards before slamming the panel shut. Alexander then ran to the back and flipped the hard plastic top of the dumpster closed.

  Realizing the dumpster lid was not nearly heavy enough to contain the creature, he climbed up onto the dumpster and sat on them. Not even a second after he had settled on the hard top he felt the rat bang its head up against the lid. With the vermin contained he pondered what to do next. Alexander went over his options which seemed limited. So he flipped open his phone and decided to let the proper authorities handle the situation. He called animal control.

  Alexander had a frustrating call with the public servant in which he had to tell them multiple times he had encountered a rat the size of a large dog. He found himself repeating.

  “No, not a raccoon, not a possum, no… I know what a possum is… no not a really ugly dog. A rat…”

  In the end, Alexander had been forced to wait. It had nearly been an hour. During that time he was compelled to redirect several other tenants to other dumpsters. They were unconvinced that a rat should stop them from dumping their trash there, but the crazy person sitting on the dumpster was deterrent enough. Sighing as another tenant approached with their garbage, Alexander perked up as he recognized the familiar face.

  “Good evening, Alexander.”

  “Good evening neighbor Emily!” He said with a wave.

  “That doesn’t look like a pleasant location to do yoga.” Emily said as she wrinkled her nose.

  Alexander looked down to see himself crosslegged like a yogi. “Ah. Well, I am currently containing a… large animal in the dumpster for animal control.” He felt like it would be embarrassing to tell Emily it was a rat. A self conscious concern that was new to him.

  “Really?” She looked around for any evidence of an animal.

  “Yes, but animal control should be here shortly. They just gave me a call back for directions again.”

  Alexander did not fault them for this. Anyone who has tried to navigate a large apartment complex should understand the uncoordinated nature of building numbers. In that time the rat seemed to settle down and simply hiss on occasion.

  “If you would like I could direct you to the next dumpster, or you could wait for a minute I am certain Animal Control will be here any second to clean this one up for us.”

  “I suppose I will wait then, from a distance.” She said waving her hand in front of her face with a pleasant smile.

  After a moment of silence Alexander adjusted his glasses. They glinted off the street light as he pulled out some strategic questions he had cleverly prepared.

  “So how are your speech therapy clients doing? Have you had much trouble replacing clients in the move?”

  “Oh, no actually! We actually often did remote meeting online which was convenient for the move. I may lose some of them as clients in the future but I can make new connections here in the meantime.”

  Perfect execution. He thought. He had gotten this idea from one of his new management books that discussed asking good questions about other people's interests.

  They continued to have a pleasant conversation for a few minutes and Alexander felt those smiles creeping in again as they had a balanced intellectual and social conversation. Maybe his practice was paying off. Until finally a white truck pulled up with Mekland Animal Control written on the side.

  Two gentlemen stepped out of the truck looking exasperated, one of them grabbed a rather small net. They approached and looked up at Alexander. A large man with an ill maintained neck beard took out a clip board before sighing and greeting him and Emily.

  “Ma’am, Sir.” He nodded at each of them. “Are you the ones with the rat problem?”

  “Technically it is the apartment with the rat problem, but yes.” Alexander said as he turned to a skinny man with a handle bar mustache, who held the net. “Sir, I do not think your net will work. I believe you will need a leashing pole at the very least. Though I would still recommend a tranquilizer.”

  “Sir, you did say this was a rat? Are you sure it’s not a possum or maybe a raccoon?”

  “I am confident it is a rat. Though its species might be closer to a Nutria, but far larger. Is there a species called a Hell Rat?” He inquired.

  The large man rolled his eyes and muttered something, Alexander was unable to make out, though he did catch the word nutcase. “Not to my knowledge sir.”

  He looked at his partner and nodded to the truck. The thin man put up his net and retrieved a long poll with a loop at the end. It was used to catch animals around the neck and hold them at a distance until they could force them into a cage.

  “You can come down sir, we will take it from here.” The large man said as he pulled out a large flash light.

  Alexander did not want to obstruct a professionals work, so he hopped down and thanked them for their service. As the situation was now in proper hands, he walked up to Emily and waved his arm in the general direction of the next dumpster.

  “Let's wait and watch! Is all of this fuss really for one rat? I’ve handled a few in my time.” Emily said flexing her muscles while looking mockingly at Alexander. Pleasantly, it didn’t feel the same as it did when others made fun of him.

  As Alexander was about to respond they heard pest control slide open one of the panels. They watched as neckbeard poked his head in the opening with a flashlight.

  “Oh HOLY SHIT! What the hell!? Close it! CLOSE IT!” The shuffling and banging of metal was heard reverberating through the complex. "GET THE TRANK GUN!”

  The sounds of hissing and profanity had some of the neighbors opening their windows and a few stepped out of their doors to see what was going on.

  Emily turned to look at Alexander questioningly.

  “Well, I told them it was a large rat.”

  They heard the sound of a low powered pistol go off. A minute later a notification appeared signaling that they had indeed subdued the rat.

  ^

  Quest Complete!

  Pest Control:

  A Hell Rat has taken up residence in your dumpster

  Objective: Slay or subdue the Hell Rat

  Quest rewards:

  -350 xp

  -3 silver

  -Inferior Magic Stone, unattributed

  Emily gasped and grabbed Alexanders arm with one hand when she saw them drag the body out of the dumpster. It was grotesque with abnormally large sharp teeth and claws. Minus the tail, it was nearly four feet long.

  “Ow.” Alexander said after feeling Emily’s tight grip on his arm.

  “Oh, sorry.” Emily said letting go of Alexander.

  “It’s likely an invasive species, hopefully they can take care of them before they are able to populate much further.” Alexander postulated.

  “Yeah, those things are straight up R.O.U.S.’s”

  “Pardon?”

  “Rodents of unusual size.”

  “Ah, I am unfamiliar with that abbreviation.”

  “The Princess Bride?” She looked at him incredulously.

  Alexander just shook his head.

  “My god man! We need to culturize you.”

  “By watching a movie?”

  “By watching THE movie.” She said. Then paused to ponder for a second. “It’s decided. We will have a house warming party with a movie night.”

  “I suppose it would be rude to not participate.” Alexander said as he searched his memory for house warming traditions.

  “Indeed, it would.” She said with a satisfied look on her face.