Chapter 226

  Legend of the Sage Alchemist (VIII)

  He eyed me for a long while, a faint grin hanging on his lips. I'd already tried inspecting him with the Creator's Eyes, but I'd need 400 points just to take a peek at his status, and considering I've got 0, it was a moot point.

  "A silver-tongued child," he said, walking over to the side where a chair suddenly appeared. It was no ordinary chair, I immediately realized; its handrests were lined with a thick layer of soft fur, while a fairly sizeable cushion lay at the seat. Even the back was supported by a supple layer of leather.

  Wow.

  Look at him casually sit down and toss one leg over the other, like he's a king.

  Well, to be fair, with that chair, I too would be doing the exact same thing.

  "Very well, child," he said. It felt kind of odd, truth be told, being called a 'child'. I mean, sure, technically to him I may as well be, but I'm a forty-year-old dude who's already experienced death once. "I am not a dull man by any stretch. As such, speak your terms. No, perhaps it is best that I speak them. Hmm," he stroked his chin in thought for a moment. "How about this: if you truly manage to cure the young girl without any tricks, I shall reward you with an Eternity Pill." The old duo next to me gasped in shock, though I remained unperturbed.

  Mostly because I didn't know what it was.

  "Unimpressed, huh?" No, seriously, I'd probably be shitting myself if you actually told me what it did. "Very well. I'll become your personal Alchemist for six months, following you wherever you may go. Mind you--I shall not fight, and if it looks like you are about to die, I will simply leave. However, for the duration of six months, so long as you provide ingredients, I shall concoct any pill under the Heavens that you might like--so long as I'm capable."

  Huh.

  All I wanted was some Spirit Stones, dude! Why are you offering yourself into indentured servitude when you could have just offered me a couple of millions of Spirit Stones?!

  "Master Lao, is it appropriate--" This time around, he didn't speak--he merely pressed his fingers together, and the old woman's lips suddenly closed shut like castle gates.

  A fancy trick.

  "What say you, child? That should be enough."

  "You will lose," I said, trying to get him to instead offer stones instead of himself. Look, would it be absolutely balls-to-the-walls amazing to have an alchemist following me around concocting any damn pill I want? Sure.

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  The issue, though, is that there's no way in hell he won't notice something is off with the kids (and even me) for the whole six months. If he were a nice guy who I know would keep it to himself, fine, no biggie; but no, he's a major condescending asshole that'd likely sell us out in a heartbeat.

  "On the very slim chance that I don't lose," hey, look, he knows about sarcasm. "Hmm. Yes, this is appropriate: you will become my shoe-shiner for the rest of your life."

  ... wow.

  Scratch that.

  Calling him a condescending asshole is an insult to actual condescending assholes. He's something else entirely.

  "Spirit Stones."

  "Hm?"

  "I'd rather have the Stones than you."

  "..." Yeah, I kind of figured that everyone would turn to stare at me like a sheep would stare at a rainbow, their jaws unhinged, eyes widened into saucers. Even the asshole over there looked so shocked you'd think someone told him he has eighteen minutes left to live.

  "Pfft, ha ha ha ha," he suddenly burst into a resonant laughter that echoed against the walls for a long while. "Oh my, ha ha ha! I, ha ha, I haven't laughed like this in such a long time, ha ha! You know, child, even Sect Masters of the Holy Lands would prostrate themselves in front of me if I asked them to and offered to be their personal alchemist for half a year, and yet you boldly claim you'd rather have the Stones than me? Are you saying you are a better Alchemist than me?" In times like these, honesty is the best thing.

  "Hardly," I said. "Even if you spent ten years by my side, you'd be concocting the most basic pills most initiate Alchemist can do. I have no ingredients and even less desire to go hunting for them. So, if you're content just sitting around for six months and doing absolutely nothing, you're welcome to tag along."

  "... I like you," hm? Hey, isn't this taking a turn for the weirder? "Very well, you've convinced me." Oh, I do not like the sound of that. "Should you cure the young girl, not only will I accompany you for an entire year, but I will concoct you pills of my own volition and using my personal storage of ingredients. There will be limits, of course, but I guarantee that, after a year with me, you will at least reach the Inner World Realm, perhaps even become a Demigod if you are lucky. Is that not good enough?"

  ... can I even reject him at this point? No. My biggest hope is that he's making these bets truly believing I have no chance of saving the girl, so when I do, he'll be so embarrassed he'll pretend he never made a bet... and I'll simply ask for a few 'hush-hush' Spirit Stones, and we'll both be on our way.

  Hopefully.

  Anyway, we're actually running a bit behind schedule; according to Long Tao, he'll need around half an hour to locate and destroy the vine, the timer that began as soon as we crawled into this basement.

  "Let's begin, then," I said as the old man Gu nodded, his lips dry with envy.

  I unfurled the book and put it on a cupboard by the bed; the narcissist over there didn't even bother disguising his Divine Sense as it swept through the book, his voice exclaiming something inaudibly. At least, he didn't immediately take to asking a million questions.

  Gu Zhao started arranging a line of herbs on the bedsheet around the girl; according to him, they were red dandelions and were usually used as anti-fever additions to the medicine. However, he also found that if they were steeped in cold water and left for a little while, they release a massive amount of Life Qi (well, massive for their size, at least) that the girl's body (or, well, the parasitic vine) will immediately suck up. However, because the amount will be rather overwhelming, my hope was that some of it will trickle into her and temporarily give her a bit of a boost to her appearance.

  Whatever it is, I just hope neither of the two tries to interfere and stop us. And, Long Tao, please, oh please, you old monster, do it quickly and smoothly.