“What if grandmother wakes up?” I was currently sitting in the Duke’s office, having an afternoon snack with the patriarch himself. My parents had taken a carriage on the first light, leaving me to wander around the estate by myself for today. And wander around I did.

  “Good morning, miss.” Sir Alden greeted me this morning. He was as tall as he was old. Clad in a suit, a chain hanging from his breast pocket shook as he put back the pocket watch. “Is there anything I can assist you with?”

  “Not really,” I said.

  I have been here long enough to have explored all the rooms and halls this estate had to offer. Thinking back on it, our house back in Barre really felt small. Which place would Karrie choose? Probably the huge estate with the infinite doors over a cozy small house.

  “Have you been to the portrait room yet?” He said.

  “There’s a portrait room?”

  Tottering after the strides of sir Alden, we arrived at a giant locked door. It looked the same as the one protecting the Duke’s office. A blooming rose was engraved on this one too. My eyes traced the sharp thorns connected to its stem.

  “Are you sure I’m allowed to be in here?” It looked ominous.

  “I think some great news will find you today.” The butler replied with something cryptic as he unlocked the door. A loud clack, then a creak. It didn’t sound like this door had seen much use.

  I thought the portrait room would have a portrait or two, or at the most six or seven paintings. Even that had been a high estimate, I believed. As if to make fun of me, littering all four walls of the room were paintings covered in a white cloths. It wasn’t even feasible to count them all.

  The only ones that were uncovered were these in front of me. Even in his younger days, he looked just as mean as he did today. My grandfather that is.

  Sir Alden commented, “Surprising isn’t it? His face would always make the young lords and mistress break out in a cry when they were children.”

  Sitting at the top was the Duke and Duchess. Below them were their children. My uncle and aunt. A faint mark stained the wall where a third portrait would fit perfectly. Below those two remaining portraits were even more portraits.

  “Those are Lord Gilbert’s and Lady Gwen’s children. I can still remember their laughter filling the hallways.”

  Red or black. They all had that combination of colors in their eyes or hair. Even all my cousins. I looked nothing like them.

  “That’s why I am so thankful for you, miss. It has become much more lively here ever since you arrived.” He gave me a neat bow.

  My father’s missing portrait and my mother’s hair color. For the first time, I wondered why they dreaded so coming back here. Was it because of me? I could still vividly remember their look as they read that letter. Yet contrary to their reactions, nothing really happened.

  We arrived sound and safe, and the staff treated us with the utmost respect. I didn’t know what I had expected but that wasn’t it. Except the first day, when my father told the news about grandmother, my parents looked to be in better health too.

  Training with the knights, my father’s muscles bulged even more, and my mom would always smile as she took a bite out of her desserts.

  “Where’s my father’s portrait?” I prodded sir Alden for an answer.

  “I’m afraid it’s not my place to say.”

  I looked to the markings on the wall. “You must have brought me here for a reason.”

  “Call it a whim if you will.” To do what? Show me that I didn’t fit in with this family tree?

  “Alden, there you are. What are you doing loitering around here with my granddaughter for?” The Duke called me that lately. It was far better than getting called ‘girl or ‘you’ all the time.

  “Greetings, your Grace.” I curtsied.

  “At least you remembered this time.” His rough voice shook my hair. “Alden, bring some refreshments to my office. And you, follow me.”

  Rarely did I converse with my grandfather as there was no real reason to. He would sometimes be spotted sauntering in the garden at the back, but that was it. All his remaining time was spent cooped up in the office scribbling some documents or attending to the Duchess. I wondered when she would wake up, so I asked him.

  “What if she wakes up, you say? Maybe I will kick you all out again.” My spoon stopped shy of cutting into the jiggling pudding. Mine seemed to be a bit larger than the Duke’s.

  Did he really mean that? “… It was a joke,” he said.

  “Why did you kick out my parents?”

  He took a sip of the tea. “Because It was the right thing to do.”

  The right thing to do. I thought back on my first mother. Being on the receiving end of her wrath, I couldn’t see any reason for kicking your own child out. Maybe because I was a child, but seeing it from her perspective felt alien. Perhaps impossible. Would I have a reason to kick out my own child in the future?

  The pudding was long gone and the teacups had lost their steam. Still, we sat there, in the cold oversized office without saying a word after that answer. He was staring in the air while resting his arms on the old couch, creating bulges in the soft fabric where his hands gripped it. A tear would probably form there if he put in a little more strength. With nothing else to do, I mirrored his pose.

  He let the couch go shortly after. “How old are you now?”

  “I turned fourteen this year, your Grace.”

  “You will attend the royal academy next year then.”

  I straightened my back. “The Royal Academy?”

  “Your family will now hold the title of Count from tomorrow onward. Go prepare for the entrance test.”

  Closing the giant door behind me, I thought back on what Raviel, my tutor, told me about the royal academy.

  “All noble children are required to attend the Royal Academy once they are old enough. It’s a policy the king himself made to foster positive relations between the different aristocratic houses. It also doubles as the time when independent thoughts can be formed, boosting the advancement of our kingdom.”

  I let my legs kick around under the chair. “So it’s a kind of school?”

  “School, that sounds a bit simple, but yes, the academy is a kind of school.”

  She went on to tell me about the entrance test. Depending on one’s proficiency in several subjects, such as culture and statecraft. And more familiar subjects like theology, arithmetic and history, a class reflecting your score would be assigned to you. Students that scored particularly high would even get a private room instead of sharing one with a stranger.

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  Dormitory life. Sharing a room with a stranger. It sounded troublesome from my point of view. Standing outside the Duke’s office, I resolved myself to study hard to avoid such a fate.

  “Ha…” Studying and school life. I wonder how it will go this time.

  ***

  “I can’t believe I’m a Count now. How does it feel, my Countess.” He swooped mom into his arms.

  The lustrous light fluttered around the room like stars as it bounced off her silky dress. He pulled her body closer, pressing her body against him. Staring into his eyes, she pressed a finger against his open lips.

  “Gale, you’re such a bad man.” He kissed her finger in response.

  “Does that make me a bad Count then?” He took her hands in his own, swinging her around and around as they danced to the rosy atmosphere. Imaginary hearts could be seen thumping above them as she let out a giggle.

  “That depends on your actions tonight– Ah! Esther!” Like a child touching a hot pan, she pushed away my father with an impressive speed, making him tumble over. “H-how long have you been here?”

  Peeking around my mom’s figure, I saw my father still lying on the parlor floor. Did he pass out?

  “Mom, he’s not moving.”

  “That’s not important right now!”

  “I’m not important…” I eyed my father’s pitiful state.

  ***

  “Well, I do feel that it can be a good experience, you don’t agree?” Said father.

  Mom rubbed her knuckles. “You don’t know how ruthless nobles can be, what if she doesn’t fit in with them?”

  “We have a year to prepare, do we not? Even that woman said she was progressing in her lessons at a remarkable pace.”

  “I don’t know…” Another plate of pudding had been served to me. It squished between my teeth. “What do you want to do, Esther?”

  “I think it sounds fun.”

  My father knocked on the table. “Then it’s decided isn’t it?”

  Mom turned to me. “Are you sure about this? We won’t be able to go home for a while.”

  It didn’t surprise me really. Ever since our planned week-long stay got extended indefinitely, I imagined that we would would eventually move away from our home. Our house back in Barre was actually starting to fade out in my memories. Which tree stood in our backyard again? Were the plants in my room all dried out and rotten by now? The only vivid memory I had was the smell of the medicinal herbs in my room.

  My mind wandered to that play I attended. Especially the heroine. A commoner that suddenly found themself becoming a noble. Becoming a noble meant getting ahold of money and money was what truly ran the world. Mom wouldn’t need to work so hard either.

  The heroine learned all sorts of things until she too, attended the Royal Academy. Seeing her prance around all happy and cheerful, there didn’t seem to be any downsides to it.

  Thinking about it, why were our situations so similar? A shiver ran down my spine as I pondered further. A coincidence? Much like how meeting Karrie and Alice in this world was a coincidence. It better be, or this would mean that—

  “Esther?” Right, mom asked me a question. Before my answer left my mouth, before I could utter the words of reassurance to her, the door flew open with a bang.

  “My lord, my lady!” Sir Alden must’ve ran all the way to be so out of breath. “The Duchess has woken up!”

  ***

  The Duke held his wife’s hand. “Rosalyn, how are you feeling?” His look was similar to how my father would sometimes look at mom.

  “Couldn’t be better,” she said slovenly.

  He pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. “Please don’t joke around, dear.”

  “I’m fine, Garius.” She caressed his face.

  I am fine. Now I understood why that maid told me that one line, ‘A person that says they feel fine never feels fine.’ Propped on the double-sized bed, she did not look fine at all.

  Haggard hair that once shone like silk was now sticking all over the place. Each of the loose strands having a mind of their own on how to make it look the most messy. Her once pink cheeks were sunken-in like a sick person. Well, because she had been sick.

  It was completely different than how she was depicted in her portrait. That person had brilliant blue eyes that held a regal air about them. The Duchess in front of me had cloudy gray eyes that looked like marble.

  She turned to my grandfather. “How long did I sleep?”

  “Two months, you have slept for two months.”

  She stared into the air. “Has Galen come to visit yet?”

  He leapt to her side immediately upon hearing his name and held her gaunt hand. “I’m right here, mother...”

  “Goodness, is that really you, Galen?” She prodded his face.

  “Yes. I’m really here.”

  Even with her terrible appearance her smile still lit up the room. “It’s good hearing your voice again, my son.”

  “I’m sorry for not visiting sooner…” His voice trembled.

  “Are you crying? If you do that…” Not only were their eyelashes the same, the way their tears rolled down their faces was the same too.

  The Duke grumbled. “You brat, how could you make your mother cry?”

  Father let out a chuckle. “I brought Victoria with me too.”

  “Victoria is here?”

  “It’s good to see that you are in good health, your Grace.” The bedside was cramped with all three of them standing in a row. Her thin fingers rested on my mom’s face.

  “Look how thin you have become. Are you eating properly? My husband hasn’t starved you has he?” The Duke cleared his throat.

  A sharp voice cut through the air. “Garius. I better hear the kitchen prepare a banquet tonight.”

  “Dear, the physician said you shouldn’t consume such foods right after waking up.”

  “Nonsense, I want to celebrate this rare moment. And there’s nothing better than something sweet and hearty. Alden are you there? Tell the chef to bake a cake, any will do.” Sir Alden bowed and left to carry out the order.

  “Rosalyn, why not wait a day or two?”

  “Hush, my son and his wife have come to visit. It’s my duty as the Duchess to entertain them.” And here I thought the Duke was the most stubborn person in the duchy.

  “Their daughter is here too.”

  “Esther?” Her eyes somehow found themselves directed at me.

  She then requested the men leave the room. Being dragged away by the Duke, my father looked shocked, not expecting himself to be shooed away.

  Her fingers tickled as she rubbed them across my face. “She looks just like you, Victoria.”

  “Thank you for saying that, your Grace.” Their smiles were really similar.

  “How long are you going to keep calling me that?” She began pulling my cheeks. “It’s so soft…”

  Mom giggled. “They really are aren't they? Lady Rosalyn.”

  “Hmm.” She turned her eyes at me, staring straight into my own. “Hello, Esther. Do you remember me?”

  “I’m afraid she doesn’t…”

  “That’s understandable.” She turned her gaze to the air. “How long has it been?”

  “A little more than six years.”

  “I see. Six, seven years then. You must have read my will I presume?”

  “…Yes, and it was carried out today.”

  “I’m sorry, Victoria. It must have anguished you greatly.” She lowered her head.

  The chair fell to the floor as mom shot up. “Your Grace! You shouldn’t bow your head to someone like me!”

  “As a Duchess of the Guillain Kingdom, I, Rosalyn Nikodemus, want to formally apologize to you.”

  “You don’t need to apologize!”

  “Nonsense!” Her voice made my fussing mom stop moving. “Why can’t I apologize to my daughter? Remember Victoria, you are and will always be one of my precious daughters. Please, never forget that fact.”

  “Mother…”

  Her face mellowed out. “Won’t you accept this selfish old woman’s apology?”

  “As I said, you don’t have to apologize, please lift your head!”

  “Ha… All these years and you are still the same. What is it about my head that makes it so important?”

  ***

  The atmosphere in the estate changed remarkably. Now that the Lady of the house had woken up, all the maids and servants were smiling. I didn’t notice it at first, but back when we had arrived, only a few people had smiled at us.

  Low murmurs had filled the hallways as they whispered together, shuffling their feet across the soft carpet. Almost as if the Duke himself ordered them to be quiet so as not to disturb the Duchess. Walking down those same halls today, cheerful voices could be heard instead.

  “My lady. Are you meeting with the Duchess today?”

  “Melissa, which one do you think she will like more? The purple ribbon? Or the blue one.”

  “Why don’t you wear this one for today?” She held up a hairpin adorned with a bejeweled flower. A purple hydrangea.

  “I don’t like flowers.”

  “Why not? This one is really pretty.” Her eyes sparkled in the vanity mirror.

  “You can have it then.” I picked purple ribbon for her to tie my hair, but she only gaped with the hairpin in hand.

  Sitting on the plate in front of me was my third serving of pudding this week. My grandmother had invited me to a tea party today. She looked much better than when she woke up, her gaunt cheeks got some of its color back and her hair was done in a pretty bun. Aside from the few gray strands, she didn’t look like a grandmother. How old was she?

  Sitting in the gazebo, a blanket was wrapped around her shoulders.

  “Is it good? Do you want one more? Raviel, how many more puddings do we have left?” Raviel was acting as the Duchess’ personal maid today.

  “I think Lady Esther has had enough pudding lately, your Grace.”

  “Ridiculous, how can someone have enough puddings. Do you want one more, dear?” She gestured her hands at my empty plate.

  “I would be grateful for that, your Grace.” With the snap of her fingers, my fourth serving of pudding appeared in front of me. Raviel shook her head in disapproval.

  “No need to be so stiff, you can call me grandmother when it’s only us.”

  “I don’t think his Grace would like that.”

  “Who cares about that stubborn man. Tell you what, try calling him grandfather once.” She winked.

  “Grandmother, can I ask a question?”

  She nodded happily.

  “What happened six years ago?”

  A soft breeze flying through the gazebo ruffled my hair. The seasons were finally turning to spring. Blue skies and leafy trees, birdsongs and shining sun.

  “It was when I first saw you.” Rosalyn thought back on that day. It was raining heavily.