“Can I pull my tongue out yet?” I whined to Belial, who as usual, was barely paying attention.

  “Huh? Oh. No, not yet.”

  I groaned, both from the fact that my tongue was half-submerged inside a vial of mystery liquid, and that the tree I sat against was not at all comfortable. At least the stray beams of light leaking in through the trees felt nice as they danced across my face. I wondered how it felt so much like the sun, despite us being inside the tower. Was it the sun…somehow redirected through a window, or had the tower created its own? And why bother at all…did the vines need it?

  “Okay. Got it. That one’s an explosive.” Belial said, in an unusually chipper tone of voice. “Just one more.”

  Eyes closed, I screwed the top back onto the glass vial, guiding it into one of the empty slots in Waffle’s old formula bag. I made sure the bag was out of view before opening them again. Drawing out a sigh, I reached into the pocket on my dress, wrapping my fingers around the fifth--and thankfully--final vial.

  “I need a minute.” I said, staring at the yellowy liquid filling the glass.

  Belial scoffed. “I don’t see why. It’s not like you can taste it.”

  “It’s still gross.”

  Waffle thumped against the inside of his new bag, the metal-plated container resting on my lap.

  “You need to stay inside,” I scolded the backpack, frowning as it jerked in response.

  I’d let him walk around on his own almost two-thirds down the mountain, only sealing him away twenty minutes ago as we approached the bottom. We were still a safe distance from where I expected to encounter any spiders—the first trees decorated with webs were several hundred feet away--but I didn’t want to take any chances.

  Belial cleared his imaginary throat, expectantly. “I can’t keep your mouth like this much longer…unless you want it to stay this way.”

  “If this is the last one, isn’t it safe to assume it’s the anesthetic?” I asked, still cursing the fact that Lucia’s captors hadn’t labeled them.

  After some deliberation, we realized the most convenient way to transport one of the spiders to Lucia was rendering it unconscious. Something that Belial helpfully remembered the spear we’d looted could do. Unfortunately, Godwin had emptied all the spear’s anesthetic into me, which meant we’d need to refill it.

  Lucia remembered Godwin asking for one of them when he last refilled her spear, but due to the bag over her head at the time, had no idea which one.

  I rolled my eyes then clamped them shut, blindly raising the vial to my lips. There was always the chance of viewers watching, and being able to reconfigure one’s mouth to identify chemical compositions might raise questions. As far as Belial knew, it was a trait exclusive to me. I felt blessed. Truly.

  The liquid felt cold as I dipped my tongue in. My nose wrinkled at the sensation, despite the missing taste and texture.

  [“Still alive?”]

  A tiny portrait of Lucia appeared in my interface alongside the message. She’d been messaging every hour since I agreed to her request to join a party with her. It made her feel better about being left alone, and being able to communicate over long distance was handy, even if the viewers could read our texts.

  [“Y…eE.s”] I sent back, still not used to typing with my mind.

  [“On your way back?”]

  [“Mot retaoiwe”]

  [“Nott yery”]

  [“Yeer”]

  I gave up, heaving a sigh and causing some of the liquid to shoot up onto my hand.

  “It’s fine,” Belial said, sensing my panic. “It won’t absorb through your skin.”

  “Does that mean you finished identifying it?”

  “Yep. Finished a few minutes ago. Didn’t want to interrupt you texting your girlfriend.”

  He’d started calling her that this morning, right after I left. Apparently, some of my fans had shipped us, whatever that meant.

  “Not my girlfriend.” I snapped, withdrawing my tongue from the vial and swabbing it on the sleeve of my dress.

  “Uh huh.” Belial goaded, managing to annoy me even more as I fumbled blindly for the cap, “anyways, that’s the anesthetic…oh, you left the cap more to your left.”

  “Thanks.” I spat, as unappreciatively as I could manage, before twisting the cap on and opening my eyes.

  The afternoon sun glinted off the spear resting at my side. My eyes flicked from the spear to the vial of anesthetic in my hand, a frown starting to form. “How do I…load it?”

  Belial grumbled as if I’d just interrupted something important, which was unlikely. “Have you tried reading the manual?”

  “It has a manual?” My head jerked slightly as a wall of text appeared. I sighed, “can you please just tell me, I—”

  A loud crunch sounded behind me. Still seated against the tree, I swung my head round, forehead wrinkling when all that greeted me was foliage.

  “Sure, why not, it’s not like I just spent the last week teaching you to read—”

  I shushed him, still scanning behind me for the source of the noise.

  “Don’t shush me—”

  “SHH.” I repeated, still looking back as I slid the vial of anesthetic into Waffle’s old bag, “there’s something out there.”

  A muffled thump sounded from my lap. Waffle, still protesting his temporary confinement. I ignored it, eyes glued on the empty landscape behind me.

  “There’s nothing there,” Belial huffed, “honestly, I think you’re starting to get a little paranoid.”

  I stared up the hill behind me a moment longer then sighed. If Belial didn’t detect anything, then I’d probably imagined it.

  The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

  Waffle thudded again, this time scraping with his claws. I glared at the metal-plated bag, starting to grow impatient, “What’s gotten into you?”

  He’d literally been out all day, and thanks to the cube he deposited not long ago, I knew he didn’t need to go potty. Waffle’s response was a muffled screech, followed by a round of thrashing that nearly tipped the bag from my lap. I shook my head, unable to find a reason for his tantrum.

  The last time he’d gotten this worked up was—

  Slowly, I reached for the spear at my side then twisted my hand around one of the straps on his bag.

  Leaves rustled overhead.

  Hoping I was wrong, I thrust the spear upwards, snapping my head back to see what I’d stabbed. Again, nothing.

  I stood up, glancing at Waffle’s armored bag before turning slowly, in search of threats. He’d stopped screeching and was now chuffing nervously as it swung from the strap, bumping into my thigh.

  “hssshh,” I whispered, pulling the bag into my chest and cradling it as he thrashed inside.

  A soft crackle up the hill to my left, followed by a blur of movement, streaking in the corner of my eye. I didn’t wait to see it fully before lunging and rolling out of the way.

  A curved mass struck the dirt where I’d been, legs flicking randomly as it tumbled down the hill. The spider skidded upside-down over leaves and dirt before slamming into a tree thirty feet down the slope. Long, striped legs shot out in all directions as the yellow-brown body whirled, righting itself in a single, fluid motion.

  I swallowed, somehow managing a complaint despite the fear gripping my heart. “I thought you said this was a safe distance.”

  “I think it should go without saying that I don’t know everything.”

  “Then stop acting like you do.”

  My grip tightened around the spear as the spider shrieked, its mandibles spreading to reveal countless rows of needle-like teeth inside its mouth. I swung Waffle’s backpack over my shoulder and ran.

  “How do I load the spear?” I panicked, already digging for the anesthetic as I sprinted up the hill.

  “The injector, there’s a small hole for it near your thumb.”

  I found it, tucking the spear under my arm as I dug for the injector, which took a moment to find since it was no longer in its place inside the bag. None of the vials were. Dread tingled in my chest.

  “I don’t know which is which.”

  “Well,” Belial said, in a ‘glass half full’ kind of voice, “that’s a 1 in 5 chance.”

  He was putting it lightly. Three of the vials were explosive refills for Godrick’s bolts. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I injected the spear with one of those, and that wasn’t even the worst case. One of them was a combat enhancing drug.

  I risked a look over my shoulder as I ran. The spider was gaining. It weaved in and out of trees, only twenty feet behind and closing fast. I grabbed a vial at random, slapping it in the injector and stabbing the refill port on the spear. Behind me, the patter of legs was starting to sound closer than I’d like. The path up the hill had opened up. I pushed myself faster, frowning as I heard the twelve-foot-tall spider behind me do the same.

  Its movements blended into a rapid pattern of scrapes and clicks as I squeezed the trigger on the injector, eagerly watching the liquid drain with a compressed hiss. The ground shook beneath my feet. It was close, almost on me.

  I dropped the injector and spun, thrusting the spear. Too soon. It reared up, batting the tip aside with a leg before lunging with its face. Its wide-open mouth looked like a funnel of hooks and spines, the first row of which jutted outwards, ready to clamp down.

  Tall as it was, on the incline its face was even with mine. Two legs were raised on either side, poised to box me in. Nowhere to dodge, except—

  Using only my ankles, I launched myself upwards to land atop its head. I kicked off just as its face hit the dirt behind me, landing on all fours on the center of its back.

  I slid across its back, hands fumbling for something to hold as it reeled and spun, trying to throw me. My hand grasped a fistful of fine gray hairs, stopping me from sliding off. Balancing on my knees, I cocked the spear, driving it into the spider’s back with everything I had.

  The spider bucked, causing the tip to glance off its shell and launching me six feet above it.

  My world became a blur as I flipped midair.

  Belial took control of one of my arms, flinging it outwards to grip a branch overhead.

  Somehow, the spider hadn't noticed me yet. Its massive body whirled frantically, searching for me on the ground. By the time several of its eyes flicked upwards, I'd already let go.

  I thrust downward with the spear as my boots met the spider’s hairy back.

  The spider bucked again, skittering wildly as the tip sank in. This time, I had the spear to hang on to. I clutched it tightly, swaying back and forth with the spider’s attempts to dislodge me. Whatever I’d injected it with, it wasn’t calming down.

  I worried I’d injected the combat drug until the spider stopped moving. Its entire body trembled beneath my feet. My eyes widened as it trucked forward a half-measure, its stilted legs wobbling.

  Had I gotten lucky with the vial?

  As if in answer, the hulking spider gave a low, shuddering squeal, and then it exploded.

  Bits of sinew and flesh burst upwards from where I’d stabbed it.

  I went flying back, landing several feet away on my side with a thud. The force of my fall sent me sliding downhill on my stomach with chunks of chitinous flesh still raining down around me. I waited until the slopping chorus of flesh subsided before lifting my head.

  My ears still rang from the explosion.

  Groaning, I dusted a glob of recently exploded spider from my shoulder, then staggered to my feet, amazed to find myself still clutching the spear.

  “On the bright side, you’ve got 1 in 4 odds for the next one…ah…” Belial trailed off as we both noticed it at the same time.

  The spear’s tip was warped. Metal fanned outward into charred strips where it had exploded. I tossed the broken spear aside. Belial was already dealing with the dull pain in my side, as I stumbled up the hill, taking in the damage.

  The spider’s enormous body had become an eight-legged bowl, with green liquid pooling at the center of the crater in its back.

  I swung Waffle’s pack around to check on him. He peaked his little head out, breathing an excited chuff.

  “I’m sorry.” I said as he tilted his head back to let me scratch under his chin, “I should’ve listened to you sooner.”

  “Yes well, it would help if he spoke in something other than squeaks and chitters.”

  My hand froze under his chin as Waffle perked up, eyes bulging. I could physically feel my gut sinking at the rapid clicking of legs. Whether drawn by the explosion, or the fresh spider guts decorating the vicinity, more were coming, and I was unarmed.

  I gently shoved Waffle back inside his armored bag. He gave a muffled squeak in protest as I slung it over my shoulder and sprinted up the hill, past the ruined spider.

  I bent over to swipe the injector off the ground, sneaking a glance behind me as I tossed it in my bag.

  There were indeed more spiders chasing after me. I counted a handful of brown, eight-legged bodies skittering up the hill in my direction. The first was cutting into my lead, less than fifty feet away. If that weren’t enough, dozens more gushed out from the webbed trees further back.

  I could feel my muscles burning as I contemplated how I'd managed to fuck this up so badly.

  Then, as if some deity had looked down at the scene unfolding and decided it could use another sprinkle of nightmare fuel, the ground shook. With a nervous glance over my shoulder, I watched as trees in the distance began to sway.

  A sickly-yellow head large enough to be a building, burst up from the treeline. I swallowed, remembering the day I scolded Rheinnan for plucking the legs off one. Now the very thing towered over the forest, its body blotting out the sun.

  Sneaking another glance, I noticed the round object it held in its mouth, immediately recognizing the writhing ball for what it was--Its young.

  “What the ffuck.” I shouted, “what the fucking fuck.”

  “Really?” Belial asked, unimpressed, “I teach you 347,000 words and you go with that?”

  Before I could respond a notification appeared.

  ╔═════════════════╗

  NEW QUEST!

  Somehow, you managed to draw the attention of the floor boss. In case you were still unsure, yes, we mean the sixty-foot-tall spider breathing down your neck. We're not sure what you did to piss it off, but Aurix Incorporated appreciates your sacrifice either way.

  Mission:

  Distract the swarm mother and her minions long enough for our staff to evacuate the third floor and you get a prize.

  Bonus mission:

  Slay the swarm mother for an even better prize.

  Accept?

  [Yes] / [Yes]

  ╚══════════════════╝

  Thanks for reading guys,

  ? My 100th Life Will Be My Last ?

  by Asher Teivel

  Clara Crowsong has already lived and died ninety-nine times. This life is her last.

  My 100th Life Will Be My Last is a slow-burn progression fantasy featuring regression, necromancy, dungeon-diving, Divine Aspects, and the mystery behind Clara’s curse.