SU TANG (素醣)

  Day 24, 4th Month of the Lunar Calendar, 6000th Year of the Yun Dynasty, Taishan Province, Tian’an Sect

  I ran.

  The Bureau of Discipline was situated on the very edge of the palace grounds like a quiet beast with too many rules and not enough mercy. Most people avoided that place like it carried the plague, and maybe it did, if you counted broken bones and erased records as infections. But Xiao Wu was there.

  My little brother.

  "Hey! Where are you going?"

  A hand caught my forearm mid-sprint. I would’ve kicked, clawed, and screamed if I hadn’t looked up and seen who it was. Jiang Feng.

  Just perfect.

  He stared at me, calm and expectant as always, his grip iron-clad but not bruising. The perfect palace watchdog. And utterly inconvenient.

  I straightened, trying to steady my breath. I didn’t have time for this. Time slipping away like sand through cracked fingers. First my illness, now this. It was as if Time had picked me as today’s chew toy. I was fraying at the edges. And I would fray, split, and shriek if he didn’t let go soon.

  “Jiang Feng, I have to be somewhere right now,” I said, biting the inside of my cheek to keep from sounding as panicked as I felt.

  He lifted an eyebrow, the way an older brother might when he caught you sneaking out the window. His free hand shifted behind his back, possibly to grab a weapon, or a disciplinary rod, or something to that effect.

  “Do you know what the Crown Prince told me before he left the residence today?”

  No. And I didn’t care. I lifted my chin, coughing the frost out of my lungs.

  “He commanded you to make sure us, servants, stick to our duties.”

  “Exactly—”

  “Which is why you should know that some of the servants have dug a secret escape hole in the Eastern wall.”

  I was fortunate to have been the one who engineered that operation. But he didn’t need to know that. Climbing over walls had been getting tiring and since the Crown Prince caught me, surveillance had increased: both at the entrance (as expected) and along the walls. I had thought a tunnel might be more effective.

  He blinked.

  “And you should probably check that out. Because I’m sure the Crown Prince would love to know how Taishan’s most elite archer and personal bodyguard allowed such a breach to happen.”

  His grip loosened, confusion breaking his discipline just enough. I didn’t waste it. I tore free like a fish ripping off the hook and ran.

  Faster. Faster. Faster.

  If only my legs would move faster. If only I could transmute wind into wings. Or teleport. Or fold time.

  I didn’t care what it took. I just needed to get to him.

  Hold on, Xiao Wu.

  Hold on, and when I get there, you are going to explain to me why you thought it was remotely funny to prank a crazy noble lady.

  But…

  My steps faltered.

  That didn’t sound like him.

  Xiao Wu was cheeky, yes. Endearingly stubborn, tragically messy, and emotionally overripe like a plum in summer. But he took his alchemy seriously. More seriously than I ever did. He wouldn’t make a fake pill, not even as a joke. Especially not when I told him not to worry about it. I told him the beautifying formula wasn’t important. I told him to leave it be.

  I told him it didn’t matter.

  I had left the test sample on my desk.

  My legs stopped. Just stopped. Not from exhaustion, even though the pain in my chest was starting to feel less metaphorical, but from cold, shivering, bone-deep realisation. I pressed one hand to the stone wall beside me. The frost kissed my palm like punishment. I watched my breath fog the air. It came fast. Uneven. And then my eyes burned, from the dry, icy wind stinging at something that had stopped pretending to be logical.

  No, no, no.

  What did I do?

  A sharp slap echoed ahead.

  Followed by a squeak.

  Too high-pitched for a grown man. Too familiar.

  Xiao Wu.

  My feet moved. I didn’t tell them to, they just did. I turned the final corner, past the lacquered gates and narrow corridors that twisted like veins through the palace’s eastern flank.

  Xiao Wu. Please be okay.

  I couldn't remember what hit me first when I stepped into the Bureau of Discipline. The smell, the sight, the sound…it all collided in a grotesque symphony of horror.

  There was blood on the paddle. Thin and slick and still warm. A crimson gloss clung to the worn wood like lacquer, glinting under the torchlight. And beneath it…

  Xiao Wu.

  Laid out like livestock, like a specimen. His back was bare, his bones jutted out like the fragile ribs of a dead bird, and his skin had split beneath the lash, painting the floor with smears of angry red.

  Three-corded ropes dug into his wrists, slicing into his baby-soft skin, turning it into raw ribbons. But that wasn’t the worst part.

  The stump of his ankle, revealed a cylindrical, milk-white bone slathered in red. The remains of a foot lay partial to the slaughter. A child’s foot, gone. Just like that. Stolen from us, from our dreams of running barefoot through rice paddies, climbing trees just to feel invincible, wading into icy rivers and pretending we could hold our breath forever. He would never run again.

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  There was a stench too. Not of blood, though that too clung to everything like grease. But of gardenias. Sweet, acidic, offensively floral. Like someone had spilled perfume into a massacre. It didn’t belong here. It belonged in bathhouses and wedding halls. Not next to mutilated children.

  “Oh, Su Tang! How nice of you to join us!” a syrupy voice cooed.

  Her words dripped like honey down a poisoned blade. Zhao Lili, in all her dainty grandeur, rose from her cushioned seat, a patterned teacup still warm in her palm. Her cheek was swollen, the red welt spreading from nose to cheekbone like a rotting fruit bruise. A minor blemish, considering the rotted thing masquerading as her heart.

  She gestured.

  And the paddle came down.

  Xiao Wu screamed.

  It wasn’t a human sound. It was something ancient. Wretched. The sound of a soul fracturing, of innocence imploding. The sound scraped its way into my chest and nested there, sharp and endless. My ears rang with it. My heart tried to beat away from it. But it stayed. Even now, I think it’s still there.

  And it went on and on, until I guessed his poor lungs found it too painful to even scream

  I ran toward him.

  But the world twisted as arms snatched mine behind my back, my knees slammed into the stone, and my face met the cold ground. A trap. I should’ve seen it. I should’ve known.

  My skull pulsed and the edges of my vision swam with black spots. My Seals. Of course they would choose now to play up.

  Zhao Lili moved closer to Xiao Wu, her perfume fouling the air like rot under roses.

  “Isn’t this your beloved sister?” she cooed to him, with the mockery of a bedtime lullaby.

  “Get away from him!” I barked, even though my voice cracked and my cheek crushed to rubble.

  Her dainty laugh was a dagger. “Don’t worry. I’ll give you some attention soon.”

  A breathless whisper, which could’ve been mistaken for the breeze, met her voice. “jiě, I’m sorry.”

  No. No, don’t say that. I’m the one who is sorry. I left the pill there. It is me who should be there not you. It is my fault.

  It was me! Me, me, me. Let him go!

  “jiě, I didn’t listen to you.”

  I found myself shouting now—Let him go!—until my lungs burned and my voice shattered. Still, they didn’t stop beating him. The paddle cracked across his spine again. I could hear his body convulse. I could hear myself sob. I hated it.

  I hated that I was crying. I hated that I was so helpless. That even now, all I had was my stupid, useless mouth.

  “Oh, really?” Zhao Lili gasped dramatically and placed a manicured hand to her lips. “Then…I punished the wrong person? What a pity.”

  I gritted my teeth so hard I thought they might crack. “I made the pill,” I spat. “I did it. If you want revenge, stop being a coward. Do it yourself.”

  She raised an eyebrow. Her fans stopped mid-swing. Good. Come to me. Keep your attention on me. I'm right here. I'm all yours.

  Within the silence, a sound came.

  A choked snort.

  A snicker.

  I would've thought it was Zhao Lili had I not seen her turn her heel towards it.

  Xiao Wu. That idiot.

  Even now, as broken as he was, pain writhing in his bones, blood pooling beneath him, lungs wheezing like a shrill whistle…he was snickering.

  Zhao Lili froze. “What did you say?”

  “I said: what an idiot.”

  A slap. A blow. Still, he grinned, teeth bloody.

  “The harlot’s so ugly, I shouldn’t have wasted my time making that pill.”

  Her foot connected with his side.

  He screamed. I whimpered. He writhed and squirmed, as if trying to escape. Except he couldn't, not when his limbs were tightly pinned, and his feet were reduced to stumps

  Please, stop, I begged him silently. Please, be quiet. You don’t have to fight anymore. I’ll take the rest. Please…

  Our eyes locked.

  He smiled. A crooked, painful little smile. His eyelids barely parted. His face was smeared with everything his body had left to leak out.

  I shook my head. No. Stay down. Stay alive. It’s not worth it.

  I twisted against my captors. Something slammed into my skull, that resonated from the ends of my hair to the tips of my toes. In my periphery, I watched as the iron rod came again, crashing towards me like a shooting star. I braced for impact.

  My vision went black briefly and my previously dull headache erupted into a searing, indescribable pain.

  Slender fingers caught my jaw and dragged my head towards the sky. The intense gardenia fragrance itched my throat, and I hated that I continued to breathe it in. Zhao Lili twisted my head like I was some doll in her collection.

  She smelled like death in a dress.

  “Huh,” she said. “I thought you’d be prettier.”

  “Still prettier than you,” I rasped.

  She dropped my face like trash.

  “This tongue of yours,” she said, “is the root of all my pain.”

  No, I thought. The root of your pain is being a spoiled, soulless demon in silk.

  But out loud I said nothing. I just smiled.

  “You taught that brat well.”

  No, I didn't. I taught him nothing. If anything, I showed him how to be stupid. How to be a paper tiger; all talk and no substance.

  That was my only talent.

  “You're a coward. You beat him up, but you don't dare to hit me. You're afraid.” She grimaced at me. That's right, keep your attention on me. Leave Xiao Wu alone. “If you have any guts, you'd cut out my tongue. But I know you won't because you know I can still beat you without a tongue.”

  She crouched beside me in a way that could be intimate but with her grin, could only mean something terrible. “You're just full of good ideas aren't you? But I have a better one.”

  She snapped her fingers.

  “Bring the needle and thread.”

  I’d heard the stories. Lip-stitching. A punishment for liars and loudmouths. A way to shut someone up, forever.

  Every part of my body wanted to scream. But I knew better. I stiffened my face. I would need every ounce of strength in my body to make sure that she did not get a single bit of satisfaction out of me.

  She raised a hand.

  The paddling started again. Xiao Wu screamed. And the walls leaned in. The stone seemed to listen. To enjoy it.

  “You’ll watch,” she whispered, “as his life leaves him. And then I’ll sew your lips shut, nice and tight.”

  I struggled then. Not out of fear. I could bear it all. I could handle death. But if I didn't struggle now, when would I? I twisted my wrists back and forth and planted my knees into the floor more firmly, trying to gain a foundation.

  But my skinny pathetic limbs did nothing to budge the strong arms that trussed me down. I was so weak. I was so pathetic.

  Perhaps I deserved to die after all.

  Fate always won. I was meant to die. Did it really make a difference if it was today, tomorrow, or in three-months?

  But Xiao Wu wasn't supposed to die for my mistake.

  He was going to be the best alchemist.

  “Ah,” she said sweetly. “I think it’s time.”

  She grabbed my jaw.

  The first prick was small. Like a splinter. Like acupuncture. I barely flinched.

  Then came the thread.

  It burned down the cut. My muscles seized. My mouth twitched. I wanted to retch. Her giggle rang out like a bell at a funeral.

  “I added some salt water to make sure everything was super sanitary," she remarked sarcastically, her voice still melodious.

  By the fourth stitch, tears were streaming freely, dripping into the open sores that lined my lips, adding a literal insult to my wounds. I wasn’t sure if I was crying for the pain…or something else. Screaming that seemed like a never-ending nightmare had long faded into the background. Or perhaps they had stopped entirely.

  They had stopped.

  Xiao Wu—

  I jerked, fighting the hands that held me. I thrashed, mouthed guttural sounds past blood-slick lips. Stars burst behind my eyes. My vision faltered. Xiao Wu—

  Everything hurt.

  Everything burned.

  And then it went black.