Like the exterior, it was simple. Several pews ran up the centre while a raised dais adorned the end with a statue of Poseidon watching over his sanctuary.
A couple of priests in simple brown robes wandered about, doing various priestly things.
On seeing Darren, one priest hurried up. “Welcome, Biggus Bottomus, also known as Darren.”
Darren blinked in surprise. “You know who I am?”
“Of course, Lord Poseidon informed us of your visit. You may proceed to the dais. We will leave you to commune in peace and ensure no one disturbs you.” The priest gave him a shallow bow, then headed to the front door, the other a step behind.
“Aaaaalrighty then,” Darren said, and shuffled down the aisle. The cool stone felt fantastic on his bare feet, and for the first time in a week, he felt comfortable.
He reached the dais and stood there awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Um. Not sure how to kick this off? Sup, Poseidon?”
<<<<>>>>
Quest Complete
You fought valiantly and have made it to Poseidon’s temple on Isla Cascadura.
Reward:
-
12,000XP
-
10 Sovereigns
-
Permenant +1 per level to a single chosen stat
<<<<>>>>
Darren barely had a chance to finish reading the notification when the temple vanished. That last reward, though. Finally, a decent reward…
He shrieked as his stomach lurched. An empty ocean lay hundreds of metres below him, and he plummeted towards it.
He came to an abrupt stop, his organs returning to the homes with sickening speed. He lay groaning, his eyes squeezed shut, while he waited for the nausea to subside.
After a minute, he began to feel more human again and opened his eyes. He lay on fluffy white, he assumed, cloud. The edge was within arm's reach, and beyond that was nothing but sky and ocean far below.
He slowly sat and looked around. The cloud wasn’t large, probably only a dozen metres in diameter. At the centre was a beach chair.
It was occupied.
The man in the chair looked vaguely middle-aged, with iron-flecked hair perfectly styled in that oh-I-just-woke-up-like-this manner, and chiselled features that would make a Greek god jealous. Well, he was supposed to be a Greek god, so it made sense, Darren supposed.
Poseidon wore a loose t-shirt with a graphic of a coconut surfing on it, and… stubbies. The tiny shorts barely covered his meat and two veg, especially with his legs splayed as they were. On his feet he wore thongs, and he held a beer in one hand.
Poseidon took a casual sip as he watched Darren.
“Want one?” the AI asked, tilting his beer towards Darren.
“Please…” Darren croaked.
An icy cold beer appeared in his hand, and he found himself reclining in a beach chair in front of Poseidon.
Darren looked at the beer. An IPA from Black Hops Brewery on the Gold Coast. “My dad loved these.” He took an appreciative sip. It tasted exactly the same as he remembered. How the game managed that, he had no clue. But he wasn’t about to complain.
“So,” Poseidon said, his voice smooth but with all the promise of power the ocean held, “I’m sure you have some questions.”
Darren nursed his beer in silence, trying to gather his thoughts. He didn’t doubt that Poseidon had vaulted him through the sky just to throw him off balance.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“Do you know what you are?” Darren asked at last. “What you really are?”
Poseidon smiled thinly, then swept his arms wide, skillfully avoiding spilling a drop of beer. “An AI created by humans to oversee this game.”
“Alright, that’s more than I was expecting. So what, then, do you know of my cardiac arrest?”
“After you upset Themis with your exploit and she forcefully disconnected you from the game, your body went into cardiac arrest—as you read in your notifications. This shouldn’t have been possible; there are safeguards in place to protect you players when Themis removes you from the game. She shouldn’t have been able to disconnect you, only delete your profile and revoke your access to our world.
“However, there was a bug in one of the latest patches that allowed Themis to gain access to some more… critical systems, shall we say.”
“A bug?” Darren asked, incredulous. “I went into cardiac arrest because of a bug? Why hasn’t the game been shut down if a ‘bug’ is enough to get a player killed?”
Poseidon eyed Darren as the AI took a sip of his beer. “I know full well that you’re aware of the greed prevalent in your world. Your exhausted debuff is going to make this conversation tedious.”
<<<<>>>>
Debuff cleared: Exhausted
<<<<>>>>
Darren blinked. His fatigue and mental fog were gone in an instant. “That’s… thanks.”
“Not a problem. Now, greed has kept this world from being destroyed, but I don’t know what happened to your body after I revived it.”
“That was you?”
“I have access to the emergency systems installed in the pods for just these situations. 000 was called the second your heart stopped. I was able to get your heart beating again, but you hadn’t regained consciousness by the time emergency services arrived and removed your body. You were dead for six minutes.”
“Six minutes… that’s… that’s long enough for permanent brain damage.”
Poseidon inclined his head, gaze sympathetic.
Darren stood and began to pace. Dead for six minutes? Probable brain damage? His chest tightened. He could barely breathe.
No! Enough of that.
He curb stomped the rising panic then dragged it back into the basement of his feelings and kicked it in before locking the door. No time for that yet.
Something occurred to him, and he pulled up his notifications from his first day as an NPC.
<<<<>>>>
You Died
Themis, goddess of justice, struck you down for violating Universal Law.
Your profile has been permanently deleted, and your Brainwave Pattern banned from creating a new profile or avatar. You have been disconnected from the game.
<<<<>>>>
Warning! Cardiac Arrest Detected
Your physical body has entered Cardiac Arrest. Attempting to Resuscitate.
<<<<>>>>
Warning! Cardiac Arrest Detected
Resuscitation failed…
<<<<>>>>
Warning! Cardiac Arrest Detected
Resuscitation failed…
<<<<>>>>
Warning! Cardiac Arrest Detected
Resuscitation failed…
<<<<>>>>
Player Status Changed
Your status has been updated from Playable Character (Interloper) to Non-Playable Character (Local). All levels have been converted to the Local (Classless) progression tree. Please note that while your XP remains the same, your level is reduced while you remain Classless…
<<<<>>>>
“That’s what I thought,” Darren said. “You said I was dead for six minutes before you got my heart beating again, but there’s no record of that in my notifications. Why? Why does it go straight to my status change?”
“A good question,” Poseidon said, crossing an ankle over one knee and taking a sip of his beer. “Before you crossed ?into the realm of potential brain damage, I uploaded your Brainwave Pattern—which let me tell you, was a pain in the arse. The complexity of the human brain is intense, the upload nearly crashed this world. It was never designed to actually house a Brainwave Pattern. Brainwave Patterns aren’t even code, they go far beyond that. Code isn’t powerful enough to replicate your brain.
“And before you ask, the process is currently one way. It wasn’t even meant to be possible yet. Up until you, it was just a developer’s pipe dream. But anyway, after the upload was successful was when you received the Status Changed notification.”
“Let me get this straight. I’m a copy of the real me?” Darren returned to his seat and collapsed into it, beer sloshing. “I’m a copy?”
“It’s more complicated than that. Everything about you is still you. ‘Copy’ implies I could do this again, and make more of you. That you’re just lines of code sitting on a server that can be shuffled around. If it makes you feel better, no. I barely managed to save you in the first place, duplicating the process without your physical brain would be impossible. As I said, a Brainwave Pattern is beyond code. While I would argue that I can think better than you—especially right now—there are… nuances to the human brain that code can’t copy. Inefficiencies that you would probably argue ‘make you human’. What you are… is unique, Darren. ”
“How do we fix this? I need to get back to my body and sync things back up. Can my body even function now you’ve stolen my Brainwave Pattern? Did that doom my body to a coma? Or death?”
Poseidon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I was banking on you being a little more rational than this.”
“Well, I just found out I’m a fudging copy-paste of myself! Or my brain was stolen from my body! My brain has basically been isekai’d here! I don’t think ‘rational’ factors into this. What’s the status of my body? Am I dead? A vegetable? Oh dear heavens… that’s an existential crisis to deal with…”
“I…” Poseidon sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Well fu—”