Yminnod

  “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” Seemingly out of the blue, the girl’s voice sounded like an arm as she swiftly carried the boy through the open and empty grassnds, as the ever-present wind battered against them. By now, their hair and their clothes were all quite messy.

  “why are you-“ After several minutes of the noise, the boy decided to speak up.

  “nnnnNND WE’RE HERE!” The girl came to a complete and sudden stop, almost causing the boy to fly out of her arms.

  “what is the significance of this pce?” He questioned, looking around. She’d stopped at the base of a small hill, beside a semi-tall (but not unreasonably so) and unassuming tree, with no trace of nearby civilization or any noteworthy ndmarks to speak of. A spot just like any other.

  “This is where my base is!” She confidently decred. “Not that I’d expect a dumb little Bug like you to be able to tell!”

  “apt assumption. i cannot.”

  “That, my dear Bug, is ‘cus it’s underground, and perfectly concealed by my overwhelming power!”

  “sounds useful.”

  “And it gets better! While it’s undetectable to everyone else, I’ve casted a spell here that’ll let me perfectly recall its exact spot, no matter what! Anyways,” She unceremoniously dropped the boy onto the ground, and reached her hands out towards a spot beside the tree. “Allow me to reveal the entrance!”

  She raised her arms up, and several cubic feet worth of dirt and grass lifted into the air at her command…Revealing nothing but more dirt.

  She set the earth back down, and turned to another spot… Nada.

  The boy looked on with great interest. “are you certain we-“

  “OF COURSE WE ARE!” She shouted at him, her cheeks reddened slightly. “IT'S AROUND HERE! Generally! Just gimmie a second!"

  The boy seemed to recall that she said that she recalled 'the exact spot,' not something so retive. He must have heard wrong.

  "ALSO, DON’T QUESTION ME!” The girl tossed a foot of dirt at his face, intentionally getting much of it as she could into his mouth, nose, and eyes.

  It was an interesting sensation.

  The girl spent the next several minutes trying spot after spot, pulling cube after cube of dirt out of the ground, and every time putting it back exactly as it was, as if it hadn’t been moved at all.

  Eventually, she would find her entrance, a trapdoor, several feet underground. It was directly under where the boy had fallen. This angered her greatly, and she spent several minutes shouting obscenities, both at the boy and the world, in general.

  Once she was satisfied, she opened the trap door and kicked the boy down the hole, before climbing down the dder herself. And quickly getting bored, letting go, and falling the rest of the way.

  The boy wiped some of the dirt off of his face and looked around at the pce where he’d fallen.

  This part of the base was surprisingly quite cozy, though they were surrounded by dirt and cy on all sides.

  The rge circur area that made up the main chamber beneath the entrance was filled with comfortable and nice-looking furniture. Sofas, chairs, a rug, end tables, a coffee table, couple mps, all manner of cozy little things.

  The eversting fire from the torches all around, and the firepce along the south wall bathed the entire pce in a comforting orange glow.

  The north wall opened into a remarkably extensive kitchen and pantry. Although the implements were simple, it seemed as though there was everything one might need, and plenty of counter space to prepare just about anything.

  To the west, a dirt hall curved north, and to the east a hall opened directly into a rge yet fairly sparse storage area.

  “did you make this pce?” The boy asked. All of the walls within his sight were either near-perfectly round or perfectly straight, with few imperfections. It was distinctly unlike any of the small holes and caves he’d passed on his walks earlier.

  “Sure did! Mostly thanks to my teacher.” She smiled and began to blush as she said that st word.

  “your teacher?” The boy felt oddly compelled to inquire.

  “Ah, my beloved teacher!” The girl pced her hands on her cheeks and began to swoon. “He’s the best there is! I love her so much, I don’t think I’d be alive if not for them~!”

  The boy found that sentence very confusing.

  “HEY! Don’t try to distract me!” She snapped down at him. He still hadn’t picked himself up. “I’m still kidnapping you- Rather, I already have! C’mon, pick yourself up so I can watch your sorry butt limp to your cell!”

  “okay.” The boy picked himself up, as she asked, and tilted his head. “could you demonstrate a limp for me?”

  “What? Just walk, moron. Go, march!” She pointed east, towards the storage pce.

  “do i walk or march?”

  “GO!”

  The boy decided to walk.

  “WHY AREN’T YOU LIMPING!?”

  “i do not-“

  “LIKE THIS, STUPID!” The girl demonstrated a limp.

  “like this?” The boy tried to copy.

  “WITH FEELING!”

  “this?”

  “HARDER! MORE LEANING!”

  “this?”

  “… GOOD ENOUGH! NOW GO, THAT WAY!” She pointed the same direction as before, and the boy went.

  The girl followed, chuckling smugly behind him. Though the girl mentioned a desire to watch his butt, she seemed to be watching other parts of him, as well. That's not to say she didn't ever look at his butt, though.

  “THAT WAY!” The girl directed them south, into another hallway. “DOWN THE HALL!” The hall bent east again.

  This hall was longer than the others, and significantly sparser, too. The torches upon the walls became dimmer and fewer in number the deeper they went.

  “Hmm… It doesn’t seem like you fully understand what’s happening here.” The girl’s voice took on a darkly smug tone. “I guess I’d better enlighten you, huh?”

  The boy nodded. “that would be good.”

  “I’m not just keeping you here for fun, my dear Bug. What’s actually gonna happen is that you’re gonna get locked up in my little dungeon. Far away from the outside world, too far from anyone to hear you scream. You're gonna be kept within an inch of your life ‘till I can track down whoever’s dumb enough to pay for your release. ‘Course, you won’t return fully intact, but you’ll be alive. Mostly.”

  “i see. i am not certain such a person exists.”

  “Heh. Suuuuuurreeee you are...” She ughed darkly to herself, as though this wasn't the first time she'd heard someone cim that. Because it wasn't. Plenty of schmucks like to act tough, unwilling to get friends and family involved... But he'll crack soon enough. They always do.

  The boy would have inquired further, but the girl's ughing was very loud, and it seemed like they were almost at the end of the hall.

  They’d approached a massive, thick metal door. The girl slowly pulled the door open, revealing a small circur room consisting of nothing but three small cells, which contained nothing but a dirty pillow, a hole, and thick, solid metal bars.

  The girl plucked a key from a keyring beside the metal door, opened the middlemost cell and kicked the boy inside.

  “It’ll be a while before you see the sun again, Bug!” She ughed as she closed the door and locked the cell. “But at least you’re away from the winds and the Ban- Well, the other Bandits.”

  “i see. i do not believe anyone will desire my release. what will you do in that case?”

  Her eyes widened, and her lips curled into a sinister grin.

  “Either way, I’m happy. See, either I get paid, or you’re gonna rot in there. One day, you’ll never know when, I’ll stop feeding you entirely, and I’ll get to watch you starve~”

  “interesting.” The boy said. This girl was a decidedly interesting human.

  Her grin widened, and ughed softly to herself.

  “Oooh, Bug… I can’t WAIT to see you rot…”

  EPISODE 0 – FIN.