Chapter 65: Truths III

  A lot of people suddenly filled the corridors. Laughter, small talk in a dozen languages and also serious faces, all around. Marcus and Janette made it out of the worst of it but had lost the rest of the group. As he looked to find them, Janette pulled his jacket and he turned to see why but it was too late. Only two meter away stood his father with a laptop under his arm and a small Hispanic looking women next to him. Without even trying, he recognized that they were standing very close together and that they seemed familiar. His father had always disliked people getting too close to him, in the past.

  - All discussions between Marcus and his father are in German but will be translated into English for ease of reading.-

  Marcus’ father walked slowly closer and said “Marcus, could we please talk.” What choice did he have? Running away now would not solve anything and he had to tell his father how angry he was and how much it had hurt him that he had abandoned him. Marcus just nodded. “If you want, Ms. Long can join us.” His father said to Marcus’ surprise. He knows Janette?

  Marcus looked at her and she said “If you like, I will come with you but I’m sure you can do it alone too.” Yes, but having you around will help, he thought and said. “Tag along.”

  They left the crowd behind and entered a smaller room that turned out be a lounge with a small bar and comfy chairs and a sofa. The woman who accompanied his father waited outside but Marcus did not miss the short touch of their hands before they parted.

  They walked into the room without sitting down and his father inspected him and he could see a faint smile. The eyes of his father were warmer than he remembered. How has he changed this much?

  “I know you are, for many good reasons, angry with me. More than that, you must despise me for abandoning you the way I did. I don’t expect to gain your forgiveness because I can not forgive myself for what I have done, but I want you to hear from me why it happened.” His father started and Marcus was not prepared for this at all. He knew perfectly well why he did abandon him. Marcus did not say anything and his father took this as a sign to continue. Marcus could see that it was difficult for him and that he was struggling to express himself and all the time he was confused who this man was. Where is the cold and distant father that barely talked to him? The man who walked away and let strangers raise his son? “I failed as a father. In the time you needed me the most I ran away because I was too weak.” And Marcus failed to understand. No, that was not the reason why he left, he is lying. Marcus knew the horrible reason why he ran away!

  Marcus felt anger rising in his stomach and when he spoke he was much louder and more brash than he had expected “YOU left me because you could not stand looking at me! Because I’m at fault “Mamma” died!” the words stood in the room and the older man looked aghast. “NEVER!” he said.

  “Never have I ever thought that. How could you believe I blamed you for Lucia’s death? How could I blame my child for the horrors of that day?” But Marcus knew better, he remembered the eyes of his father when he looked at him “You could not stand the sight of me! You hated me because if I had not… If I….she would still be alive.” His voice broke and he fought to keep the tears at bay.

  Marcus looked at his father who cried. No, no, no this is not how it is supposed to be. His father never cried or showed weakness. He was cold and distant no matter how much Marcus hurt inside. “When I entered that room and found Lucia, my world ended. I was convinced I would find you lying next to her but you were alive. I remember how I pulled you out of that hiding spot and you were so cold and barely breathing.” his father talked and Marcus felt pain radiating through his body. “Our son was still alive. I thought that would be enough but it was not.”

  The older man looked down to the ground “I tried to heal, tried to move on from that horrible day but no matter what, every time I looked at you I remembered your mother. I saw her in you! Her hair, her eyes… and the pain came back. I started to think about killing myself and the only way I could go on was by running away. Abandoning my own son, because I was too weak.” The pain in the eyes of his father was true, Marcus could see it.

  “You lost your mother and your father. I can not undo this. And I have no right to ask for your forgiveness but please believe me I never ever gave you fault for Lucia’s death.” Marcus just stood there. His inside was a pile of broken glass, he cried. Nobody stopped him and seconds ticked away.

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  “Why did you not tell me earlier. Why wait so long?” Marcus said but his voice was now silent and his throat hurt for some reason. “Because it took me a very long time to get better. Only after I met Sophia and accepted professional help I made progress. But the more time went by the harder it became to reach out to you. You did not want to have anything to do with me.” Sophia, so that is her name, Marcus thought.

  He was not mad about that, he could see that his father had changed so much. Marcus turned a bit and looked at Janette, I had luck too and found somebody who helped me move forward. Marcus looked at his father and felt an impossible distance had turned into nothing. The world he had build for himself as a child, the explanation he had found for his own misery, it was an illusion. The cruel distant father was just a man who lost his wife and could not bear it. And he himself was a stubborn son who never gave his father a chance to explain himself. He had held on to his pain and used it to move forward, but he did not need this anymore. Everything was different now.

  Marcus sat down on one of the comfy chairs and exhaled. “Maybe you want Sophia to come in.” he said and his father brought her in. “Hello, I’m Sophia Rodriguez.” She formally introduced herself. And Marcus gave her a smile. “Sorry you have to keep up with my father. He is a difficult person.” she laughed and smiled. Janette moved forward and shook her hand. “I’m Janette. I have to keep up with Marcus, but it is okay.” Now Marcus’ father laughed and had to sit down too. “It seems we are both in good hands.” he said and Marcus nodded. “How do you know Janette?”

  “I might not have been close to you but at no point have I lost sight of you. I was always informed what you were doing. Your mother would be so proud of you if she could see you now. You have come so far even so your father messed everything up.” Marcus shook his head and smiled sadly “You are telling me, you would not rather have seen me study and become a scientists like you instead of becoming a big burly Fighter? I doubt this is the career you envisioned for me.” Marcus said.

  “You walked your own path since the day you broke open that Pearl your mother gave you.” His father said and Marcus was honestly surprised. “You knew? About the Pearl and what was inside?” His father laughed loudly. “How could I not. You were holding on to the thing as if your life depended on it. The first days after the attack you were catatonic. We had to force feed you and you never let go of that ball. It was the only thing that mattered to you. Later you started to decipher it and when you did you hid away the device inside. I guess it had something to do with you wanting to become a Fighter and why you have defied all expectations.” His father explained and Marcus did not remember that part of his life. He knew...of course, why else would he have allowed me to become a class holder so early...Marcus mind still had problems keeping up with the new information.

  “What now?” Marcus asked. “We are both busy people and I expect things are going to be even worse in the future. But if it is okay for you I would like to call you from time to time and maybe we can also spent some time together. A weekend or a short vacation. We can take it slow.” Marcus’ father said and the two man stood up shaking hands slowly. Marcus still felt resentment in his heart but this was a very good first step. They left the room and said goodbye for now. “I bet you are happy that you did not run.” Janette said while they slowly walked to the exit of the building. “Thank you for being there.” he only replied.

  As they came to the security checkpoint Grace was waiting for them and Marcus could see cold fire in her eyes. “Ohhhh, I forgot about that.” he said and once they had past the checkpoint Grace was right in his face. “How do you know Kim.” Marcus was really happy she had no sword this time but she could most likely carve his heart out with her bare hands, the way she looked right now. What should he tell her? “He is Kim’s disciple.” Janette said as if it was nothing and Marcus wished he was somewhere else. Grace’s face froze for a few seconds and when she recovered her voice was very silent “He is not even a Paladin.”. Janette shrugged her shoulders “But Kim really likes this weird guy and Marcus also cracked the fourth Paladin ability.” Grace looked like she had a heart attack and Marcus wondered what Grace had done to Janette that she tortured that woman to this extent.

  Grace started laughing, first silently but louder and louder as time went on. She threw her head back and laughed deep from the heart. Tears of joy were running down her cheeks. “I think you broke her.” Marcus said and honestly worried about Grace. “I tried so hard, so bloody hard all the time. And then you come along and become his disciple. It is hilarious.” Marcus watched her and the woman looked different. Her eyes had a different gleam and even her face looked different. “I give up.” Grace said and leaned again the wall. “You will stop pretending to be the poster girl and join the weird people?” Janette said to Marcus’ complete surprise. “Yes. But I might be a handful.” Grace said with a wicked smile on her face. “Can somebody explain to me what is going on?” Marcus said.

  “You remember the Grace that stabbed you and beat you up?” Janette said with a wide grin. “How can I forget.” Marcus looked suspiciously to Grace. “That is the real Grace. We were still in need of black in our Colors of the Wild.” Janette said and Grace looked happy. Everything she had worked for and built up over years would soon turn to dust, but she did not care. She was going to have fun with a bunch of weird people, and kick some ass.