Afterword

  I totally didn’t almost cry while writing/editing the prologue or Chapter 7. Nope, my room is just dusty. Now, you may be wondering why I put the characters through such a tough ordeal. Well, a certain dwarvish author put it best (after I wrote it):

  “...if you love a character, you give them pain, ruin their lives, make them suffer. Maybe even throw in a heroic death…[It makes] you care...”

  It’s an excellent, and often underutilized, tool to make people care about the characters as well as providing character growth as they deal with and, hopefully, eventually overcome their suffering. It also does a great job expressing the severity and danger of the world. At first, I was a bit hesitant to do so, but I came to accept the result very quickly as her death becomes a major plot point later.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  The prologue is also an excellent example as to why I decided to write in a light novel format which allows for multiple prologues and epilogues. I prefer for the story to focus on the main character(s) without much jumping around. Having multiple prologues and epilogues allows me an excuse to do that without breaking up the story.

  Next will get a slight glimpse into how the Earth has changed now that people have superpowers.

  Purpose of Volume:

  

  
1. Character growth/change (mostly emotionally)


  
2. Power up


  
3. Get back to Earth


  
4. Reiterate that no one is safe (for tension)


  

  Major Edit Definitions:

  Embellishment - Worked on to improve grammar. Sentences may have changed and there may be small amounts of additional information that provides more clarity to the reader, but they aren't plot-important.

  Rewrite - Significant changes have been made. Most changes are for clarification on characters and events or their expansion and do not change the overall plot.

  Major Edits:

  Pro-Ch 1 - Embellishment

  Ch 2 - Embellishment/Briefly went over Martel’s mentality about the girls.

  Ch 3 - (Rewrite)Went into detail about why the duel with Tom (and not other options), and made something that was hinted more obvious.

  Ch 4 - (Rewrite) Expanded the audience with Rox King/damage control.

  Ch 5-6 - Embellishment

  Ch 7 - Rewrite of Freyja/Freed scene to clarify and emphasize the order of events (Freed left when Martel was trying to save her), Martel’s thoughts and actions, and emphasize Carlisle was behind it (Freed’s participation was optional and didn’t change anything).|

  Ch 8 - Clarified Martel’s thoughts and actions/expanded on Freed’s circumstances in the battle.

  CH 9-Ep - Embellishment

  Edit Analysis:

  First off, thank you to everyone who left specific feedback on issues/impressions of my chapters. I’m a casual amateur writer who doesn’t have an editor, so it is helpful. What I see may be different from what you interpret and my job (and the job of an editor) is to match the author's vision with the reader's interpretation. It is almost impossible for the author to do this, and that is why your feedback is important. I considered some of the things irrelevant or a non-issue if I even considered it at all. I wouldn’t have known about it without the comments, so thank you.

  

  
1. It was originally written in the first person from Martel’s perspective (and I wrote this years ago).
   
     When initially written, several scenes had exaggerated parts because of Martel’s perspective which didn’t transfer over well when I changed to the third person. The most obvious was the introduction of Freed. Because of Martel’s previous disdain/distrust/disgust with Freed, all of Freed’s actions were intensified. He wasn’t intended to be as much of a psycho as it came off (that was more of Martel’s perspective, though he does note Freed’s change once he realizes he can’t rile up Martel), and was acting to cause a scene with the hero for propaganda purposes to discredit Martel, but Martel didn’t fall for it.


  
2. Thoughts and motivations were not stated in the moment.
   
     I felt that most character choices made sense given the character building, information provided, or were explained enough, but I noticed a lot of complaints towards some scenes. I have since added a detailed thought process/transparency for clarification


  
3. ‘Taken for granted’
   
     There were parts where routes or options were not explored because I felt it should have been obvious. A prime example of this is in regards to the King of Roxburghshire. I was honestly shocked by the number of people who complained that Martel didn’t kill him. This was never an option because: it isn’t ‘hero like,’ he made an unreasonable demand (he isn’t a bad/evil king, just an ass) so its unwarranted/unjustified, he could be unsuccessful and could have been killed after(he is strong, not invincible). Additionally, the power vacuum that always occurs when killing a leader would almost certainly cause a civil war. I didn’t write about it because it wasn’t even considered as I felt it was obvious.


  
4. Poor descriptions
   
     Poor in that they didn’t emphasize the facts of the scene enough to where the reader got the wrong impression. I cringe every time I read ‘he should have killed Freed when he had the chance.’ I was honestly confused by these comments (and still am even without the rewrite). The first time (when Freed harasses Freyja) he hasn’t done anything wrong by their standards (ppl get away with worse in rl) and is part of a diplomatic mission (you don’t attack diplomats). When he hears about the rape (which has been heavily expanded) Freed is in a different kingdom that supports him. When Freed attacks the palace, he gets away while Martel is trying to save Freyja (and he didn’t even need to take part in the plan. That was Carlile who would have succeeded without him). On the battlefield, Martel needed to save the center otherwise the war would have been lost. On Mt. Etna, Fafnir interferes. On the road back, Martel has no strength left to finish the job. The point is, the few times he could have (he wasn’t guaranteed to succeed) the repercussions were terrible and not worth it. Even in retrospect, Freed’s existence does almost nothing. If he was cut out, everything that occurred would still happen, just in a subtle (and plot-heavy) difference.


  

  Tl;dr

  Thanks again for the feedback. I love my story and want it to be the best possible. Constructive criticism is like an editor for me. I’ll be going over the rest of my work keeping the lessons learned here in mind.