Prysmcat

  “Ask Zanshe what?” Zanshe said from the doorway. Bare feet, of course, made no sound on stone floors. She caught hold of one of the chairs and dragged it over to the fountain with its broad back to it. “That should make that easier to reach, little one.”

  “In Crystal Pass and here,” I said. “There are big windows but metal mesh on the outside. Why?”

  Heket scooped Myu up to show her the chair; Myu sniffed at it, then reared up with her forefeet on the back to look at the fountain.

  “The wind throws things around sometimes. Gss is stronger these days but it can still break in a strong wind or if something hard strikes it. So we turned necessity into creativity, and the metal workers design protection that looks like art.”

  “It definitely does that,” I said, still circling the room to admire everything. There were birds made of metal and gss suspended on fine chains from the ceiling, positioned so they looked like they were flying between the trees. Every time I thought I’d seen everything, I found another extraordinary detail. “This whole room is amazing.”

  “It gets used a lot,” Zanshe chuckled, smiling as Myu climbed all the way up to the back of the chair. One white paw patted at the fountain inquisitively, spraying water, then she began to drink. “And that means when I’m alone or when I have friendly company or when I need to talk to clients. I do have guests with cats occasionally. Will she find the pot she can dig in? It has the usual pnts in it.”

  “She’ll find it,” Heket assured her.

  “Good. She deserves to be comfortable too.” Zanshe perched on one of the remaining chairs, tilted her head, and looked at me measuringly. “Serru is worried about you. From what she said, death is a very different concept where you’re from, and she’s concerned that you haven’t entirely accepted that she is safe and back and will be able to meet up with us soon. Quite likely close to the Quincunx. She sounds determined and furious at the Moss Queen and she’s moving at impressive speed, but then, the map in her head is the sort only very dedicated and skillful gatherers build. I would not know everything I know if she hadn’t sent me several messages now.”

  “She’s right about being worried,” I said. Built against the stone inner wall, a series of narrow shelf-like boxes held flowering pnts I’d seen in the Shallows; water ran down the wall and through all the boxes ceaselessly. “But I think I finally get it. It just took me a few days. Where I’m from, you only die once and you don’t come back. Because of my job, I’ve had more contact with death than people in my culture usually do. And my job is to fight it, but I’m also very aware of how real it is.”

  Zanshe nodded. “And you had to make a choice between preventing a severe fast moss infection and curing an injury that would be lethal, when you do have experience with the consequences of the injury but I’m assuming only a theoretical understanding of what the consequences of the infection would be. That would be a difficult decision to make.”

  “I still don’t think I’ve entirely grasped just what that infection does but I’m getting a better idea. Even just listening to Serru telling the Moss Queen exactly what she thought of her was educational. Also terrifying. Also really startling.”

  Zanshe chuckled. “I truly wish I’d seen that. Even more, I wish there’d been a way for anyone to see the Moss Queen’s genuine reaction. I don’t think anyone has ever done that. I do think that it would have made Serru feel good, in a way, to actually say it. I can make a very good guess about at least parts of what she said. I know it’s been hard and I can’t imagine what the past few cycles have been like—she mentioned having to use multiple Elixirs in order to keep curing infections over and over, and I’m sure that must come with a price, along with the emotional consequences of the whole situation.”

  “There wouldn’t have been any attack if I hadn’t gotten distracted by the festival. Or by too many other things on this trip.”

  Myu finished her drink and hopped down; Heket perched on the chair she’d been on, watching her explore, but I was sure she was keeping some of her attention on Zanshe and I as well.

  “Maybe. Maybe you have a better chance of predicting those two than we do. Maybe not even you can. But I promise you, Serru knew the odds of that better than you did, and she didn’t try to hurry you. You’re an infinite distance from your home and family, with one possible route to get back to them that you can’t be sure will even work. That is an immensely complicated sort of stress to have lurking in the back of your mind all the time. Being able, now and then, to let go of that and simply be in the moment seems like it might be a good thing, something to let you have a chance to take a breath without that weight always being there. Maybe Serru, who had a traumatic separation from all her loved ones not too long ago, was thinking of that. Maybe she’s been enjoying watching your reactions to things that are normal to us. Maybe it’s more than one of those things. But never think she’s just being careless. That only happened once.”

  I stopped looking at the small detailed lizards made of iridescent metal that had been pced, semi-hidden, in one of the trees. “You might have a point. You mentioned clients. Can I ask what you do? Something involving mental health? A healer who focuses on the mind?”

  “I’d never call myself a healer. Are there healers who do that? I’ve never met one, but I suppose there must be. I’m just a good listener who sometimes spots new perspectives. I’m a fantasy artist. Some say experience artist instead.”

  “Sorry? Most things transte in my head even though this isn’t the nguage I’ve used my whole life, but some concepts are different and it doesn’t work right. I’m not sure if that’s transting badly or it’s just something my world doesn’t have.”

  “People come to me to make something real. That can be wanting to personally experience a close approximation of a scene from a book or py that matters to them, or a particur meal shared in a specific way, or a sexual encounter that follows a script they’ve been fantasizing about. Or it can just be a sympathetic shoulder and someone to be company to watch a py with, if someone is alone. I’ve been hired because someone wanted a celebration for a loved one, or to bring a long-time personal fantasy to life, or because someone’s spouse encountered one of those two and waiting is lonely and difficult. They tell me what they need, no matter how eborate or how simple, and we talk about what I can reasonably do with setting and costumes and props and roles if those are relevant—rather like theatre, but with only one performance and there is no audience. Then I make it happen. Every project is a unique and fascinating challenge, even the simple ones.”

  “It sounds like a lot of work,” Heket observed.

  Zanshe ughed. “It can be, even though I love it. In between, I do other things. A little amateur acting and helping with production on that, voice jobs on audiopys, selling costumes or props if I get inspired between clients or the client doesn’t want something or it didn’t turn out to be quite what I needed, helping the local teachers bring history or other things to life, just helping my neighbours out here and there. And when Serru is around, I ask my neighbours to look after my pnts and we go out on a gathering trip. I keep busy and I make sure I don’t get bored. Otherwise, how could I give each my best?”

  I finally found my voice and a semi-coherent response. “There are parts of that in multiple different jobs at home. More of it is in hobbies or personal retionships. But nothing that involves all of it professionally.” Everything from cospy and fandom to peer counselling to sex work to party pnning was wrapped up in that, and probably a dozen more concepts as well that weren’t coming to mind offhand. It struck me as unlikely that Zanshe gossiped about requests, or was judgemental about them. She might not see it as a kind of mental health care, but I was fairly sure it was.

  “Don’t people sometimes find it hard to ask someone they’re close to for something they think is silly or unusual or that they know that person has no interest in? And can everyone find an outlet on their own?”

  “I think people frequently find it difficult, and a lot of people just live with fantasies they can never make real. Especially anything involving sex. My culture has a lot of very complicated and unhealthy associations with sex.”

  “That’s very sad. Everyone deserves to be happy and have dreams come true at least occasionally, and to have a way to express themselves in whatever matters to them.” She tilted her head again, regarding me thoughtfully. “Given that, my chosen art and profession isn’t a problem for you, is it?”

  “No. I’ve had trouble accepting some of what my culture says for years, and I’ve had enough experience here to try hard to keep an open mind.”

  She smiled. “Good. I’m looking forward to time to get to know all of you and it would be awkward and tragic if something that isn’t even immediately relevant interfered with that. I wrapped up with a client yesterday, a final session before her spouse got home. He ran into a mossling about five months ago. She got a message, oh, four cycles or so ago that he was at his parents’ house and would be home as soon as possible. It was welcome but unexpected news and readjusting took a little effort. So.” Her voice shifted, suddenly decisive. “My current intentions are to make certain the lot of you have a good meal tonight, a chance to rex, a comfortable pce to sleep although I’m not entirely certain how we’ll do arrangements, and another good meal in the morning before we get out on the road again. The one thing we need to do, and I’m sorry but this is not negotiable, is to unpack everything involving shelter and food and medical supplies and safety so we can make absolutely certain that nothing is short or missing.”

  “Medical supplies are not as necessary as they might be,” Heket observed. “But it sounds sensible. We did our best to find everything on Serru’s list in Crystal Pass, and I doubt she left anything off that list or that we missed any of it, but why take the chance?”

  “It’s something of a ritual that Serru and I are used to before leaving. It generally involves everything being spread all over my front hall while we organize it. And that’s for only two people, not five and the little one and two ornithians, so I expect to be gd my front hall is rge.”

  “Weren’t you going to only stay until we got to Zanshe in one piece?” I asked Heket.

  “Are you in a hurry to be rid of us?” she retorted.

  “I really like having you both around. But I don’t want you or Myu to get hurt. Or for her to even be uncomfortable.”

  “We won’t get hurt. She’s smart and she’ll stay close where there’s food and warmth and attention. We’re not ready to leave you yet.”

  I sighed. “I’m going to feel terrible if anything bad happens to either of you.”

  “Understandable,” Zanshe said, “but maybe also worth allowing your friends to decide for themselves what matters to them and what their priorities are, hm?”

  The door chime was louder from inside, but not by much.

  Zanshe got up and left the room with the fast long strides that seemed to be normal for her.

  “She’s right,” Heket said. “Friends can say things that would be rude otherwise, but friends also still need to respect that everyone values things differently and that gives them different weights in making decisions. I can consent to some risk. Myu can’t, but I would never allow her to come to any harm. I have very good reason to be sure that you wouldn’t either, and neither would the others. We aren’t going to slow you down, we might be useful, and my family know where I am and can manage without me. Unless you tell me to go away, we’re staying with you a while longer.”

  I spread both hands. “What can I say? I keep stumbling into being rude with the best of intentions otherwise.”

  “I know. I think it’s safe to say that everyone who meets you figures that out quickly, and it’s hard to be offended, all things considered. But you probably have other uses for the energy you put into fretting about that.”

  Zanshe returned with Terenei and Aryennos.

  “Make yourselves at home. I need to go stir dinner again. Feel free to put something on to listen to. Actually, you might want to make sure all pyers and anything else powered is recharged. There’s a charger in the hall, on the lower level of the table with the statue of the aquian dancer. I’ll be right back.”