[ M – Park]

  Max inhaled deeply, enjoying the crisp m air as she strolled dowree-lined park trail, leading Chestnut, Caroline's beloved (and slightly dramatic) horse.

  "Ah, pead quiet," Max sighed tentedly. She was holding the poop ing shovel on her shoulder, zily. "No creepy diner ers, no Oleg me a 'night of passion,' no—"

  Her words died ihroat. Her spidey seihe hair on the back of her neck stood up. Something was off.

  Max subtly gnced over her shoulder.

  There.

  Behind a tree.

  A man in sungsses and a hoodie, lurking like a failed supervilin.

  Max narrowed her eyes.

  Either she was about to get mugged, or... 'Oh, God. No. It couldn't be.' She yanked Chestnut's reins and picked up the pace. "Nope. Not today, Satan."

  The figure followed.

  Max walked faster.

  The figure walked faster.

  Chestnut snorted in irritation.

  Max let out an exasperated groan and whipped around. "Alright, buddy. If yonna stab me, let's get it over with, because I have a very busy schedule today..."

  The stalker froze.

  Then slowly, he removed his sungsses.

  Max's stomach plummeted. "Oh, hell no."

  The man grinned, his teeth still armingly white, despite the fact that he was an actual criminal.

  "Maxine, my love," he ed.

  Max's soul left her body. "JARED?!" she screeched.

  Jared, a.k.a. her ex-boyfriend who oried to sell her kidneys on the bck market—fshed his signature sleazeball smile.

  "The one and only."

  Max deadass turo Chestnut. "Kick him."

  Chestnut, ever the diva, just yawned.

  Jared put a hand on his heart. "Wow. Not even a 'Hey, Jared! How've you been?' No 'Gd to see you're out of jail!'"

  Max pointed a deadly fi him. "You tried to SELL MY ANS, JARED."

  Jared waved a dismissive hand. "Allegedly."

  Max gawked. "THERE WAS A BILL OF SALE."

  Jared grinned sheepishly. "Okay, teically yes, but did you die? No. So, I feel like we let that go."

  Max stared at him in utter disbelief. "You absolute garbage disposal of a human being."

  Jared sighed dramatically. "Look, I made a mistake."

  "A MISTAKE? A MISTAKE?" Max threw up her hands. "Jared, **a mistake is fetting yirlfriend's birthday. A mistake is putting salt in cookies instead of sugar. A mistake is NOT tag a guy ony the Butcher and trying to sell yirlfriend's kidneys for 'quick cash' while she's TAKING A NAP."

  Jared ged. "In my defense..."

  "There is NO defense, JARED!"

  He raised his hands. "Okay, okay. I get it. But listen. I'm a ged man."

  Max snorted. "Oh, really?"

  He nodded early. "I did a lot of self-refle in prison."

  Max crossed her arms. "Oh yeah? How much?"

  Jared hesitated. "Umm, well. I mean. Not a lot. I was mostly selling cigarettes and learning how to make toilet wine, but..."

  Max facepalmed.

  Jared cpped his hands together. "Look, that's not important. What is important is that I'm out now, I've turned over a new leaf, and..."

  She immediately cut him off. "Oh my God, are you about to ask me for money?"

  He looked deeply offended. "What?! Pfft. No."

  Silence.

  Jared shuffled his feet.

  "…Okay, maybe a little," he admitted.

  Max groaned. "JARED."

  He held up a finger. "Not a lot! Just, like, enough for a cheap apartment. Or a really good sandwich."

  Max pihe bridge of her nose. "Why. Are. You. Here."

  Jared smirked. "Because I missed you, babe."

  She turo Chestnut. "Kick him."

  Chestnut, again, yawned.

  Jared chuckled. "That's what I love about you, Max. You're fiery. Feisty. And you're doing well for yourself now, huh? Heard yetting into the bakery business."

  Max stiffened. "How the hell do you know that?"

  Jared tapped his nose. "I might have heard you talking to that blond at the cafe. So...? . For old time's sake?"

  Max's fiightened around the handle of the poop shovel.

  "Jared," she said slowly, her voice dripping with rage, "if you don't walk away in the five seds, I swear ohing holy, I will rearrange your face with this shovel."

  He chuckled, pletely unfazed. "Oh, e on, babe. We go way back."

  She raised the shovel higher. "So far back that you **tried to sell my damn kidneys?!"

  Jared waved that off like she was overreag.

  "Allegedly."

  Max lost it.

  She swung the shovel back, ready to knock Jared's stupid, an-traffig ass into week—

  SCREECH.

  A bck Porsche came to a sudden stop on the side of the road.

  Max froze, shovel mid-air.

  Jared blinked. "Whoa. That's a nice..."

  The window rolled down. And there, behind the wheel, looking annoyingly handsome for this hour of the m, was Alex Wilson.

  Max's grip on the shovel tightened.

  Jared, being a natural-born idiot, grinned. "Oh, shit. Fancy car. Who's this, Max? Your new sugar daddy?"

  Max saw her entire life fsh before her eyes.

  Alex, meanwhile, just raised an eyebrow.

  Max turned slowly toward Jared. "Jared," she whispered. "I swear to GOD—"

  Jared ughed, like she had told a funny joke. "What? No shame, babe. The guy's got cash. And look at him, dude's probably got a yacht and a private isnd somewhere."

  Max's eye twitched. "Jared. I will bury you in the woods."

  Alex, looking 1000% doh this euation, cleared his throat. "Should I be ed about the fact that you're actively threatening a man with a shovel? Or is he probably b you?" He opehe door and got out.

  Max turo Alex, gesturing wildly at Jared. "This walking garbage fire is my ex."

  Alex nodded slowly. "Ah. That expins a lot."

  Jared grinned and leaned against Chestnut like they were old buddies. "o meet you, man. You call me Jared..."

  Chestnut, bless his loyal heart, immediately dropped a massive pile of steaming pht on Jared's feet.

  Silence.

  A long, glorious silence.

  Jared stared down at the fresh pile of horse betrayal now perilously close to his overpriced sneakers.

  Max?

  Max lost it.

  She howled with ughter, doubling over, clutg her stomach. "OH MY GOD. CHESTNUT, YOU BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL CREATURE."

  Jared gagged, stumbling backward like the absolute coward he was. "Oh, hell no... What the fuck?!"

  Alex watched the se unfold with mild amusement. "That… was impressive timing."

  Max wiped a tear from her eye, still wheezing. "I swear, this horse is my soulmate."

  Chestnut flicked his tail like he kly what he had done.

  Jared, however, was less impressed. He pointed acgly at the horse. "Did he just...!"

  "Yes, Jared," Max gasped between ughter. "He just pooped in protest of your existence."

  Jared gagged again and stepped back further. "That's disgusting. That's—why does it smell like actual death? What do you feed this thing?"

  Max, still grinning like a lunatic, gestured wildly to Alex. "Hey, rich guy, how much do you think I could sell this for? Some people pay good money fanic horse manure, right?"

  Alex tilted his head, pretending to think about it. "I mean, some high-end farms do use it as fertilizer… so, yeah. You could probably make a small profit."

  Max turned back to Jared, delighted. "See? Evenut's waste is more valuable than you."

  Jared scowled, clearly debating his life choices. "Y'know what? Screw you guys. I don't his. I was just trying to be nice."

  Max gaped at him. "NICE? JARED, YOU TRIED TO SELL MY ANS."

  Jared threw his hands in the air. "Okay, are we really still talking about that?"

  Alex leaned on his car, watg this like it was the greatest free eai of his life. "Yeah, I feel like that's kind of a hard thing to get over."

  Max turo Alex, grateful. "THANK YOU."

  Jared rolled his eyes, still ag like he was the victim here. "Whatever. This is exactly why we didn't work out, Max. You always hold onto stuff. You never let things go."

  Max ughed without humor. "Oh, I don't know, Jared. If I let things go, I'd be missing a kidney right now."

  Jared threw up a sarcastic peace sign. "Whatever, man. Y'all are a bunch of haters."

  Max smirked. "Bye, Jared. Don't let Chestnut's poop hit you on the way out."

  Jared turned and stormed off, aggressively wiping off his shoes on the grass.

  Alex, watg him disappear dowrail, slowly turned baax. "So. That was…"

  Max sighed. "Yeah. That was Jared."

  Alex nodded, pletely unfazed. "I'd ask if all your exes are like that, but I feel like I already know the answer."

  Max snorted. "Oh, don't worry. That one ecial breed of disaster."

  Alex g Chestnut, who was still standing proudly over his vengeful tribution to the world. "I like the horse."

  Max patted Chestnut's neck. "Same."

  Chestnut, as if to punctuate his triumph, let out a long, satisfied snort.

  And that was how Max's m went from peaceful horse-walking to witnessing the ultimate act of karmic justice.

  Max grinned and stretched. "Welp. Time to finish this up before any more disastrous ex-boyfriends or crazed fans show up. By the way, I hought rich men wake up this early in the m. Don't you guys wake up like 10 or 11 and your maids ing you up or washing you, then dressing you, and then for breakfast... truffles and caviar?" She looked up and noticed Alex was staring at her again like she was an unreizable creature.

  "...What?"

  For a long moment, Alex just stared at her. And then, he burst out in ughter. Not the polite, amused chuckle of a rich businessman. Not the smooth, posed ugh of a Hollywood mogul.

  No.

  This was full-on, genuine, head-thrown-back ughter, the kind that made his shoulders shake, the kind that came from deep in his chest.

  Max bli him. "Uh. You okay there, Moneybags?"

  Alex finally posed himself, shaking his head with a grin. "Oh, man. That's a hell of a mental image. A team of maids bathing me, dressing me, and spoon-feeding me caviar for breakfast?"

  Max crossed her arms. "I mean, yeah. Isn't that what rich dudes do?"

  Alex smirked. "Sorry to disappoint, but I actually dress myself. And my breakfast is usually just coffee and whatever's left in my fridge."

  Max gasped in mock horror. "Oh my God. A self-suffit billionaire? What is the world ing to?"

  Alex chuckled. "Truly, a tragedy." He oward Chestnut, still standing proudly over his crime se. "So, does this horse e with an attack mode, or is he just a menace for fun?"

  Max grinned. "A little of both. Holy, he's my hero." She patted Chestnut's neck. "Good boy. You avenged my kidney."

  Chestnut flicked his tail, looking very pleased with himself.

  Alex smirked. "Well, I gotta say, that was one hell of a show. I was just on my way to a meeting when I saw you about to smash that guy's head like a pi?ata."

  Max huffed. "I wasn't going to kill him. Just… mildly cuss him."

  He raised an eyebrow. "Mildly?"

  She shrugged. "Okay, maybe a little more than mildly."

  Alex shook his head, still grinning. "Remio never get on your bad side."

  Max smirked. "Smart man."

  Alex checked his watch. "Alright, as much as I'd love to stick around for more of your adventures, I really do have to go."

  She tilted her head. "Big fancy rich guy meeting?"

  He sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. But thanks for the eai. Seriously, that was better than half the scripts I get sent."

  She grinned. "Gd to be of service."

  Alex opened his car door but hesitated for a sed. Then, gng back at her, he smirked. "You know, Max, you should sider a career in anized crime."

  Max gasped dramatically. "Oh my God. You DO have a private isnd. You're trying to recruit me for your billionaire mafia, aren't you?"

  Alex ughed. "Damn. You figured it out. I'll have to find a less observant criminal mastermind."

  Max winked. "Good luck with that."

  With o amused shake of his head, Alex slid into his Porsche and pulled away, leaving Max standing there, still holdirusty poop shovel like a warrior after a battle.

  She turned back to Chestnut. "What do you think about Alex, Chestnut? Good guy? Bad guy? Total secret supervili on world domination and the destru of capitalism while living a double life of debauchery and hedonism while jet-setting across the globe to parties full of beautiful models and expensive cars aing his cereal dry like a psychopath? Could that ma a bowl of cereal like that while secretly scheming the destru of Western civilization as we know it or WHAT? I would lose 5 years of my life over that fact alone."

  The have her a weird look and snorted.

  Max nodded solemnly. "I agree, buddy."

  With the danger past, she finally mao finish ing Chestnut's little... 'act of karmic revenge' (and put his discarded crime se ba the duffle bag) and then they returned home to a much more cheerful and amused Caroline, who thought his 'deliberate poo attack' on Jared was the single best thing ever and they proceeded to giggle hysterically over a cup of hot chocote and pancakes like they were girls in a Diseen movie, bonding over petty vengeance against idiot males.

  And that was a good day for them.

  Also, Jared was reported missing the day by his friends, but not a trace was found of his existeher than his bloody boots and phone up the hills. So... it was very much cluded to be a freak enter with a mountain lion and that was the end of that. (Who? How? You ask... Well, some things are better left unsaid...)

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  [8 advance chs] [All chs avaible for all tiers]